the beauty, the splendor, the wonder of my hair
Never underestimate the power of hair.
A bad haircut (or just a bad hair day) can really destroy your sense of well being. I am not even close to kidding about this. In fact, I have already written several times about hair trauma. To wit:
I'm having a Bad Hair Day. I'm not a vain person, by any means. However, Bad Hair is about more than just walking around looking like a blind person constructed a wig for you. No, Bad Hair encompasses the entire body, soul and mind of your being. It weighs you down, it makes you grumpy, it takes that last shred of human decency you had and shoves it over the cliff of dignity so you are left with an attitude that would maim the most hardened terrorists with just a glare from your frosty, evil eyes. Bad Hair is not a bad coif. It's not a brush or comb away from sanity. It's miles and miles away from any sane place in the world. Bad Hair combines every aspect of your body, mind and soul, taking you on a strange journey from your mutterance of death wishes upon every person in the world to the sharpening of your fingernails so you can better gouge out the eyes of your co-workers. So let's go, Meryl and Andrea (ed note: this was written on a day when Meryl and Andrea wanted to throw down). I'm waiting. As soon as someone nominates an entity, human or otherwise, who is deserving of our wrath, I am there.And then there was something about taking my bad hair mood and working with it, channeling that anger to do...something. I am Bad Hair Girl. Superhero to the sufferers of split ends, savior to the follicly challenged, avenger of the too-much-conditioner victims. Here I come to save the Bad Hair Day. With blowdryer and hot oil treatment packed in my bag to take care of that hair, and my trusty spork-of-death and fists-of-rage ready to take care of your emotional outlet needs. Yea. So if anyone needs any sporking done today, I'm your gal. And until I figure out a way to dissipate this hair-rage, whatever long winded essay I had in mind for this morning will have to wait. I wonder if their is such thing as a hair-rage defense in court?
Comments
After I got the WORST fucking haircut in the history of womankind, I went to another salon where I got it cut super-short and dyed it pure white.
Hottest fucking hair I've ever had.
Lesson: since your hair already sucks, now is the perfect opportunity to take a big chance and try something totally new and daring. If it doesn't work, meh, wear a ball cap for a while and then start over. Hair grows back.
Posted by: Billy Gibble | May 20, 2004 08:18 AM
"I wonder if their is such thing as a hair-rage defense in court?"
Apparently not.
Posted by: spd rdr | May 20, 2004 08:37 AM
Hehe...
Posted by: michele | May 20, 2004 08:48 AM
Jimmy T. Rocks!
Beam Me Up!
Posted by: Rob M | May 20, 2004 09:11 AM
Haircut blogging?
I just came here for the COC on the playlist. Thanks for that.
I saw Corrosion of Conformity in Denver once in my angst filled youth. Bad scene with skinheads and such. They would stand in the middle of the pit like they owned it, and the rest of us longhaired skater punks would mosh around them and try to push people into them to see if they got their butt kicked or whatnot.
We also liked to pull on their suspendes (red of course) and let them slap against their backs when we suddenly would let go. This was great fun, unless they caught you doing it.
Skinheads suck.
But at least they don't have bad hair.
Posted by: peat | May 20, 2004 10:14 AM
Your level of insensitivity amazes me sometimes. Are you oblivious to the hundreds of bald people who visit your site every day? People who can NEVER have a bad hair day, because they don't have any hair! You really need to apologize before bald people start boycotting your advertisers.
You insensitive clod!
Posted by: Skillzy | May 20, 2004 10:35 AM
Skillzy -
What are you - on crack? Being bald is great. You never have a bad hair day ever. No styling products, no combs, no brushes. Life is good.
Posted by: Farmer Joe | May 20, 2004 10:46 AM
I am currently suffering from a "My relationship ended and so I took it out on my hair and cut it all off and man I regret that" phase.
So beef all you want about bad hair, I've got your back on that.
And bald men? Hot. Case in point: Ed Harris. He's big salty goodness.
Posted by: Helen | May 20, 2004 11:12 AM
Yes, I am on crack, thanks for asking. Now stop attacking me to take the heat off of Michele! She has to answer for her meanness! I want an inquiry!
Posted by: Skillzy | May 20, 2004 11:17 AM
"Your honor, the defendant was having a very, very bad hair day."
I would acquit.
Has anyone mentioned this to Michael Jackson's lawyers?
"Your honor, the defendant, Mr. Jackson, was having a bad nose day."
Posted by: David F. | May 20, 2004 11:32 AM
When I got my hair cut last week my long time stylist asked if I'd be willing to be a hair model. She wants to demonstrate some funky new colour technique and thought I'd be into doing something wild. I said yes, and by this time next week, I may be having the worst bad hair day ever. Or not! I'm really hoping for the latter.
I think Billy has a good idea there. I've done it once or twice with a bad do. Worked out pretty well.
Posted by: Ith | May 20, 2004 11:42 AM
Helen: I'm totally with you on the bald men thing.
Posted by: Cobby | May 20, 2004 06:30 PM