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buy me some peanuts and some of that other stuff that tastes like CRAP!

Let's move on to a different subject, shall we? I'm not quite done with the old one yet, but I need a breather. cj1.jpgI am boycotting Yankee Stadium. Granted, I don't go to too many games because the Major Deegan Expressway is something I try to avoid at all costs. Still, this is cause for outrage and action: The ballpark snack paired with peanuts in the stadium anthem "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" will no longer be around for the seventh-inning stretch at Yankee Stadium. Cracker Jack has been replaced by the competing caramel popcorn Crunch 'n Munch at the home of the Bronx Bombers. "Cracker Jack is a brand name," Yankees chief operating officer Lonn Trost told The New York Times for its Wednesday editions. "We're selling a caramel crunch that is the same thing as Cracker Jack." Trost compared the difference between Cracker Jack and Crunch 'n Munch to "Frigidaire versus refrigerator, or aspirin and Bayer, or Jell-O and gelatin. One has to believe that Mr. Trost has never tasted Crunch 'n Munch. See, Cracker Jacks nearly melt in your mouth as they drown your taste buds in sugary, smooth as butter waves of pleasure, which is only heightened by the sweet, salty peanuts. Eating Crunch 'n Munch is comparable to eating cardboard laced with some kind of acidic medicine. There is no comparison. And it's not just the taste, it's the history. The Yankees themselves, and the stadium, are steeped in glory and history. Their name is legend. To take Cracker Jacks away from the masses and replace it with such pedestrian fare is tantamount to erasing the entire aura of historical greatness from the Stadium. It's a slippery slope, folks. How soon before they take away the dirty water dogs? We cannot let this happen. And what of the song? Take me out To the ball game Take me out With the crowd Buy me some peanuts And Crackerjacks I don't care if I never never get back Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch? Does Crunch 'n Munch even have nifty prizes? I don't think so. So Steinbrenner and company are trying to deny you the one thing that may make suffering through another lousy pitching performance worth it. Give me my teddy bear tattoo back, you thief! I think at the next Yankee home game, everyone should go right ahead and buy a big old box of the Crunch stuff. And when the seventhing inning stretch comes along, you just go right ahead and sing along with Take Me Out To The Ballgame. But when they get to the part about Cracker Jacks, everyone should throw their boxes of Crunch 'n Munch on the field. This works on two levels - not only will the Stadium management get the point, but the pigeons will swoop in to eat the spilled munchies, thereby ruining the field, causing the Yankees to forfeit the game. Yes, I'm a Yankee fan and I know how much this would hurt, but I am first and foremost a baseball purist (no, I do not like the DH), and the Yankees' vulgar display of historical ignorance in the name of presumably saving a few bucks has hit quite the sore spot. Trust me, there are plenty of other ways for the Yanks to save some money.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference buy me some peanuts and some of that other stuff that tastes like CRAP!:

» Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch? from Backcountry Conservative
The title of this post is borrowed from a line in a post by michele in which she says she is boycotting Yankee Stadium because the team has replaced Cracker Jack with Crunch 'n Munch. From her post: Yes, I'm... [Read More]

» Peanuts and a Prize from Baseball Musings
Darren Viola sent me a link to this article on how the Yankees are replacing Cracker Jack with Crunch 'n Munch. (By the way, shouldn't the middle sound be spelled with two apostrophes, like the Cask 'n' Flagon? (Oops, there... [Read More]

» Outrage from Say Anything
You know the song Take Me Out To The Ballgame? You know that part about the peanuts and the Cracker Jacks? Well that part of the song will no longer apply in the Bronx, home of my beloved Yankees. From... [Read More]

» Buy Me Some Peanuts And Generic Pap, I Don't Care 'Cuz It All Tastes Like Crap from damnum absque injuria
Michele provides yet another reason why the Yankees™ are generic ball club that plays half of its games in the Bronx is nonessential. [Read More]

» Beltway Traffic Jam from Outside the Beltway
A somewhat late, somwhat short midweek linkfest: Mark Hasty has details of the Jason Alexander/Tony Kornheiser show. Michele Catalano is mad at the Yankees for... [Read More]

» What's the prize in this...? from Drink this...
Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack, except at Yankee Stadium... Some brilliant mind in the Yankees organization has decided to replace Cracker Jack with Crunch 'n Munch, claiming it beat the original in a taste test. Is nothing sacred...?Take [Read More]

» He is almost perfect in every way from Read My Lips
Randy Johnson has become the oldest man to ever pitch a perfect game. The Big Eunuch is still ugly. It ain't his fault, though. I still wish he was pitchin' for the Rangers, but mostly just glad he ain't pitchin'... [Read More]

» Wiggle Pictures from The Soxaholix
The Red Sox take another from the (always) struggling Tampa Bay club [Read More]


okay...offended now...not even a tip o da hat...

love the forfeit scenario

mmmmm Yankees Forfeit mmmmm life is good.

Cracker Jack (in the big box!) is still served at Fenway...

only way you can win, skippy?

That is just anti-american. BTW, here are the correct lyrics for the song:

Take me out to the ball game
Take me out to the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jacks
I don't care if I ever get back
And it's root, root, root
for the home team(I replace this with"The Cubbies" ala the late Harry Caray)
If they don't win, it's a shame
Cause it's one, two, three strikes
You're out
At the old ball game.

FYI only.

I should boycott this post to protest you sullying Randy Johnson's perfect game with the memory of Bucking F'ing Dent, but what the hell... I agree completely.

Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch,
Yankee fans get they panties in a bunch

(Yeah, I no the meters wrong, but it's a start; can someone do better?)

I suppose we could change the lyrics (in a nod to mothers everywhere) to: "Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch. I don't care if I'm too full for lunch..."

DOH!... "know" not "no"...

though "I no meter" might also work

Anger the Baseball gods, shall you?
Just another reason to root for the the Red Sox to win the pennant.
Hand me a lightning bolt, Babe.

That's how I felt when the took away Mr. Toad's Wild Ride from the Magic Kingdom.

What? Crunch n' Munch is so not like Cracker Jack. Cracker Jacks have molasses, the other stuff doesn't and is far more bland. Hmph. Good thing I don't live near Yankee Stadium, or I'd have to boycott, too. Double good thing that they seem to still sell 'em at Fenway, since that's where I'd be anyway. :D

Ummmm, "nifty prizes?"

If you're still getting "nifty prizes" in your Cracker Jack then the shelf life is either much better than ever imagined or you really need to get out of your house more.

I was just explaining to Boyo the other day how Cracker Jack USED to have great prizes and now they're crap. The actual treat is better than anything similar, but the prizes just don't cut it. Which is exactly what my Dad told me when I was a kid. To hear him talk there was a Daisy BB Gun in every box.

Complete lyrics (1908 version)
Katie Casey was base ball mad.
Had the fever and had it bad;
Just to root for the home town crew,
Ev'ry sou Katie blew.
On a Saturday, he young beau
Called to see if she'd like to go,
To see a show but Miss Kate said,
"No, I'll tell you what you can do."

"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game."

Katie Casey saw all the games,
Knew the players by their first names;
Told the umpire he was wrong,
All along good and strong.
When the score was just two to two,
Katie Casey knew what to do,
Just to cheer up the boys she knew,
She made the gang sing this song:

"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, your out,
At the old ball game."

I'm still worried about Yoo-Hoo.
I mean, we just got Yogi to come back to the House...

Maybe this is the price of A-Rod... Do they get a higher margin on Crunch 'N Munch sales versus Cracker Jack? I can't imagine another reason for the switch. But with all that payroll, I can't blame 'em for committing baseball apostasy. Yet again.

BD: yer frighten' me.

Buy me some peanuts and Crunch 'n Munch
I don't care if I eat a whole bunch?"

OK, I got nothing.

The Yankees have always been a team of sellouts, mercaneries and inbred okies, rooted for by crowds of equal parts muggers, arbitragers, junk bond salesman, fornicators, garbage-pickers, trolley-dodgers, blackguards, ruffians and CFOs, and praised in the corporate media by knee-padded bootlickers, mooks and sycophants. Come the revolution, the Yankees will be marched to the beach and tied to stakes, and forced to confess their sins before all humanity.

Arthur, you do not deserve such a fine last name.


So, Arthur Dent, haven't been out of England since your creator dropped, have ya?
Ford Prefect laughs at you.

I kinda like Crunch n Munch but that's not to say that it compares to Cracker Jack at all.
Now what would bring the yakees to stoop so low? Surely it's not just the money?

Buy me some non-brand-specific food,
I don't care if my taste buds get screwed...

Buy me some peanuts and Crunch N Munch,
Bulldoze Arthur's house while he's with Ford on lunch.

You'd have to really emphasize the "doze" syllable, I guess. And it's nothing personal, Arthur, it's just that we need to make room for the overpass.

Actually Jim Rome had pretty funny lineabout this "I'm a Fiddle Faddle man dammit!"

You know, I was so hung up on the Yankee hating thing, the Arthur Dent reference passed me right by.

geoff:"crush Dent's house while he's with Ford at lunch."
How's that work?

Does this work:

So buy me some peanuts and Crunch and Munch
That's why I've got my panties in a bunch.

The Florida Marlins served crunch and munch during season 2. There was outrage. It was replaced by season 4 with cracka jack.

Lair, um... I already did that one (of course you used proper grammer)

Buy me some peanuts and Crunch N Munch,
Bulldoze Arthur's house while he's with Ford on lunch.

I've had worse happen. The key is not to panic.

Take me to see the Yankees
That bunch of overpaid sluggers
Buy me some peanuts and Crunch n Munch
Watch now as Michele's panties get all in a bunch.
It's root, root, root against the Yankees
If they don't win, well, shit, YAY!
For it's one, two. . . they can't count higher than that
Those damn overpaid Yankees!

Yeah, I'm just bitter cause I have to root for the Minnesota Twins.

Crap. Lawrence beat me to the "panties in a bunch" rhyme.

neither of you guys are within a block of 'meter', either.

White Middle-Class Activism at it's finest! I applaud your sense of social
justice and compassion!

Why not boycott the stadium because they
use Rawley baseballs, which are stiched
by the bleeding fingers of Indian 4 year olds?

There's always some activist who has to come along and try to crush whatever slim bites of fun we get out of our days.

Ryan - What is this? Laurence, beat you to the line?! If you don't have a blog your comments don't count?

(Damn, how far have I descended, that I'm concerned about getting credit for a weak joke in the comments section of a weblog? Well at least it's in a very popular weblog!)

Buy me some peanuts; forget Crunch and Munch
Or Sailor-Boy's gonna give you a punch

Yeah, I know...lame. But if it's going to be stuck in my head, then someone else has to suffer along with me.

Crunch & Munch instead of Cracker Jack

Farina instead of Orbach..


The inconsequentials of my world are falling apart....and they always tell you its the little things that matter!

Hey Alexis, it "Rawlings" baseballs, ya twit.

Whoops. Sorry JFH. Didn't see you there. I hereby attribute "panties in a bunch" to you. Not the original panties in a bunch, mind you, which was probably coined by an unfortunate woman suffering undergarment clustering issues.

Come to think of it, I think the original was "undies in a bunch," which sounds funnier, and is gender neutral.

Also acceptable:

All wrong in the thong.

Warts in the shorts.

Grief in the briefs.

Vigilante panties.

Gawd DAMN but I'm hilarious!

Rawley?? I think you mean Rawling, Alexis, and you also got your sweatshops mixed up. All Major League baseballs are made in the Dominican Republic. (Unless your calling the Native Americans on Hispaniola, if there are any left, by a very un-PC term). I understand that these jobs are highly sought after.

"Why not boycott the stadium because they
use Rawley baseballs, which are stiched
by the bleeding fingers of Indian 4 year olds"

First off, it's Rawlings. And they are stitched in Costa Rica.

Damn I hate when idiot lefties can't even get their own talking points right.

Geez, Ryan keeps making me look bad!! Costa Rica is correct; It's Rawlings not Rawling (that was a typo)... and I've got to stop drinking so early in the afternoon.

"Geez, Ryan keeps making me look bad!! Costa Rica is correct; It's Rawlings not Rawling (that was a typo)... and I've got to stop drinking so early in the afternoon."

JFH....no worries. I just remembered the "MLB visits to the Costa Rican baseball factory to assure baseball aren't juiced" story....found the article too.


Also there are several Ryan's....twp opf which just use Ryan as their name. One is the guy from ramblingrhodes and then there's me who uses blah.com as my non-deplume-mail.

Just for the record, I'm the funny Ryan, or so I like to steadfastly maintain.

That's horrible! I can't imagine a day at Safeco (it's so weird that I now refer to a field as a corporate interest) without someone yelling "Get yer Cracker Jacks".

and Cracker Jacks are better than any of the rest of that shit. And it has a prize, fer cryin' out loud!

Gotta disagree. Cracker Jack is ass. I never bought a box that wasn't stale and chewy-sticky enough to pull out your fillings. Plus, the prizes are all lameass slips of paper now.

tradition is fine, but improvements exist.

poppycock anybody!!!???
You want butter? poppycock has loads.
You want nuts? poppycock has pecans or cashews.

Cracker Jack were great! -- when I was too young to look past the prize and appreciate quality. Last 2 or 3 attempts to enjoy cracker jack left me with a burned, bad taste in my mouth. And I like my coffee/beer dark and full flavored.

I have no knowledge of crunch n' munch to speak of.

I misread this post and the article in Newsday to think that they did away with the SONG and not just crackerjack. Heh.

Take me out to the ballgame
Take me out with the crowd
Buy me some peanuts and shit on a shingle
I don't care if I never get back...

This is old news. The Yankees replaced Cracker Jacks at least last year. It's only now that the news outlets are reporting it. Both are way overvalued as snack food.

Additionally, if you don't want to take the Major Deegan to the stadium (and why would anyone??), the subway works best. Even if you're outside of the city, just park in Manhattan (as though that's the easiest thing in the world) and take the ultra-fast and ultra-safe subway to the stadium. Considering how many cops are patrolling the Stadium during games, there's no doubt that it's about the safest place in the city during games.

Also, I really doubt that the Cracker Jacks sell all that well anymore.

Ben, I'm on Long Island. There is no way I'm going to drive into Manhattan, pay to park my car there and then take the subway to the Stadium.

And the prices at the Stadium for tickets, parking and food/drink require a level of income I may never achieve.

(puts on tinfoil hat)

Alexis is right!

(does bong-hit)

"Rawley" baseballs are bloodstained objects symbolizing the oppression of the proletariat!

(tokes on bong)

The Yankees are aptly named. That team does to baseball what America does to the third world!

(another bong-hit)

Rich and mercantile, they plunder resources for themselves way out of proportion of whats fair for everyone else!

(another toke on bong)

Yankees go home!

(slumps to the floor and starts watching "Cartoon Network")

actually, they have the danged hot dogs on that 7-Eleven-esque hot roller contraption... no dirty water in sight... sigh

What is needed is to expose this. Tell other people, particularly diehard Yankees fans.