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bringing the world together

There are so many things that make us fight and scream at each other. But I think we can all agree on this one particular issue: Apple is a very silly name to give your child. A few weeks ago in Target, I witnessed a woman yelling at her son. His name was Macintosh. Perhaps we can get these two kids together some day.


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» Something we can all agree on from Rooftop Report
I am a little worried right now. For whatever reason I find myself agreeing with Michele pretty regularly lately. Thankfully, currently, it is only because she is talking about stupid names: There are so many things that make us fight [Read More]



After watching the VISA Triple Crown, I put forth the hyperbolic question of when we would see "brand name" children....your post frightens me.

And why would I assume that Frank Zappa would be in disagreement.

Could be worse, they could have called her Summer's Eve or Spaghetti-O.

wasn't there a comedian's routine about children named after the location where they were conceived?

I thought about that this weekend as I sat through an interminable graduation exercise...one of the many students walking across the stage was named "Tijuana." I wonder if that's where her parents honeymooned.

Didn't some person offer, a year or more ago, "naming rights" for his kid on e-bay?

I posted similar feelings on my blog yesterday, and I just had a commenter claim that Apple was Gwyneth's grandmother's name.

Which would at least offer a reasonable explanation.

But I haven't seen it confirmed anywhere.

Mama named all us kids after the alcohol we were conceived on.

But the two children you named will never, ever catch a virus...

My son's name is Satchel. Is that crazy?

Satchel good. Apple bad.

Satchel is a real name. A good name. A strong name. I don't think anyone will look at your kid and think "Hmm...maybe his mom had a thing for Bill Gates." It is infinitely better to have someone look at your kid and say "Hmmmm...I bet his dad is a baseball fan."

Good thing you didn't name him Mr. Met, though.

I like it. Found out about it when I found a link on an Apple Computer/Mac news site. Seems the hubby, some sort of singer (I don't do pop or whatnot) and his gang all use Macs extensively for production of their alleged music. She and hubby apparently are both Mac fans. So if you're not a Mac person feel free to name your next child Gateway or Microsoft or something. :)

Better than iChild or iKid. Chances are some Apple-maniac has already gone that route.

put those two kids (Apple, Macintosh)in the same room and Jobs' lawyers come crashing through the window waving cease and desist writs.

Even worse name: IBM

I went the easy route with my second child; I decided the use the same first name for either a girl or a boy. His name is Cary. Had he been a girl, I would have spelled it Kerry. And I didn't think of a middle name until he was born (I didn't know the gender beforehand; this was 21 years ago, before people got so nosy about that stuff). On the delivery table, I settled on Cary Thomas. I have no idea what I would have used had he been a girl....probably my middle name.

Kerry Ann....isn't that a song?

Hold your horses! Apple is a lovely ladies name, a grandmotherly sort who runs a B and B in my hometown is named Apple. :) She's not the first elderly "Apple" I have met, either. :)

Kerry Ann, my wayword son...


I, too, know of at least one Apple. Female and she has a sister named Pear and another named Cherry.

The last name is Smith, so I think they wanted something cutesy and memorable. The boys were named much more simply Joseph and Michael.


Well ... a couple of songs, actually. Styx had one "Carrie Ann" and the Hollies had another. Stephen King had a story about a Carrie--you may have heard of it. :)

On the other hand, the only "Kerry" I know is a man. (Yes, I'm aware that it isn't exclusively a male name. I'm just sayin'.)


Apple? Still not as bad as calling your kid "Blanket".

I saw a woman on Springer once who was called Cliche, I guess she was going for one of those sassy sounding afro american names like cle-shay be-yon-say etc. What an idiot.

I met a guy whose first name was Duran. He was born in 1982.

Do the math.

The best first name I've heard belonged to a girl named Thrillah. She was born in the Philippines in 1975.

Old boxing fans know for what she was named!

Yours truly,
Jeffrey Boulier

The box creaks open, emitting a warm smell like old newspapers and dust, and out slithers a 30-year-old memory:

Maude: Florida is a very unusual name. I take it you were named after the state?
Florida: No, I was named after my aunt.
Maude: Ah, and she was named after the state.
Florida: No, she was named after her grandmother.
Maude: And she was named after...
Florida: She was named after the orange.

For some reason, this got a tremendous laugh. Maybe you had to be there.

The strangest name I've ever heard was pronounced:


but probably spelled:


Talk about a lack of imagination.

Apple is far from the daftest name going...just look at the names that silly moo Paula Yates gave her children. Fifi Trixibell?

With a mother working in a hospital lab, they do blood work on all the newborns. Too bad she isn't on the internet, or I'd have her post. Aren't there any hospital workers here with good stories?

Yes, she's seen 'Female', also 'Sparkle', 'Twinkle', and twins 'Ebony' and 'Ivory'. All of which I think are worse than 'Apple'.


How did you keep a straight face when you heard that?