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Being both a compulsive listmaker and one of the world's designated shame sinks, I cannot resist my chance to make five shameless shameful confessions. 1. I was once chased down the streets of my hometown by an angry chicken. 2. The first two albums I ever purchased were Barry Manilow's Even Now (hey to Zombyboy!) and Queen's News of the World. I was in my late twenties before I realized that this might lead people to make certain assumptions about me. 3. Given the choice between eggs benedict and cold, leftover fried rice for breakfast, I'll take the rice 10 times out of 9. And I like eggs benedict. 4. I turned down a four-year full-ride college scholarship because I didn't like the smell of the city where the college was located. Despite this, I still believe myself to be reasonably intelligent. 5. I am a Cincinnati Bengals fan, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Come visit me at The Bemusement Park.