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Open Mic Night Guest: Nick Favorito

I’m not ashamed to admit….. 1) That I know the complete lyrics to “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. In fact, while discussing the boundaries of consent this morning in my Feminist Legal Theory class, I was shocked to discover that my professor had never heard “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. “Haven’t you ever been to a wedding?” I asked her. I have since deduced through advanced mathematics that this woman was, in all honestly, alive in the 1970s and really ought to be familiar with this song. She's getting a CD on Friday. 2) That I’m really not too worried as a Red Sox fan this season. Although it appears that our pitching is first rate, our season may depend upon the health of Nomar Garciaparra’s foot and Trot Nixon’s newly remembered chronic back troubles. Without those players in our lineup the Sox have recently dropped five games in a row to the absolute dregs in the league. These players have given no indication that they’ll be back into playing shape before the middle of June, nor upon their return can Red Sox fans rest assured that these players won’t aggravate what are known as nagging injuries. So why aren’t I worried? I figure by the time the Red Sox really hit their summer swoon the Dems will be in town and the FBI will have shut down the Zachem, leaving the Green Monster as the tallest thing around for the Townies to jump-off of. Do you know how much those seats cost? Any ticket purchased for those seats ought to come with a seat cushion to land on below. 3) I once thought Steve McQueen was the lead singer of the band Queen. 4) There is no better reason to attend a wedding than singing along with “Paradise by the Dashboard Light”. 5) That I would have left Pedro in too. For further enjoyment browse Duck Season or Begging to Differ. I need to resume my studies of Basler’s Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln.