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Baseball and Cleavage go together like Clemens and Beanballs

American League Pitcher of the Month: Kevin Brown bq. Brown went 4-0 with a 2.70 ERA in six starts, throwing at least six innings in each outing. Brown opened the season with three seven-inning, one-run performances against Tampa Bay, defeating the Devil Rays three times. The third win marked the 200th of his career, as he became the 101st pitcher in baseball history to reach that milestone. Oh, and... Sierra named AL Player of Week bq. Sierra batted .467 (7-for-15) with two home runs and three doubles in six games, leading the league with 11 RBIs. Sierra also led all qualifiers with a 1.067 slugging percentage last week, and he posted a .500 on-base percentage. Six game win streak. Two sweeps in a row. Crawling up Boston's ass - just one game out and no, it's never to early to look at the games behind column. Soon, I'll be calling it the games ahead column. And on another, less enthusiastic baseball note, mark your calendars for tomorrow night, when I will make good on my pledge to wear a Mets cap to repay those who made contributions to the Spirit of America just so they can see me squirm. This will be more painful than the wearing of the B. My hatred for the Mets and 90% of their fans (including my father, if he's in Mets mode) runs deeper and thicker than my hatred of the Sox. The Sox thing is just a good rivalry. The Mets thing? Well, that's more like war. The things I do for you people. I haven't decided if there will be cleavage showing as I don't want to cause a certain blogger to have to write another 500 word essay on why women who don't like sexism should wear burqas at all times, nor do I want to once again explain the difference between boobs and cleavage.

Comments

The women with burqas root for the Brewers, I think.

People root for the Brewers? Well, I'll be damned.

Here's a vote for cleavage....takes the whole Met fan edge off.

Plus, your Dad will be less likely to show off the picture!

Now why can't Brown pitch like that when he's with the Dodgers? Is it because he know in advance he'll get no run support.

Yanks still leading the both leagues in errors? They were at one point last week.

You no blog baseball! You pack house!

(runs, using a zig zag course to avoid flying heavy objects)

Ruben Sierra? Isn't he 1,000,000 years old. I thought they thawed him out sitting atop that wooly mammoth?

It tooko Ruben 20 years to develop that "Sierra spit" he does so well.

Go Texas Rangers!

Give it another week and Brown will fall into another injury. Other than that the Yanks should be ok from the looks of it if you don't count the inconsistencies from the 4th and 5th spots in the rotation.
Sox will win the East you can count on it. The Yanks will still make the POs as a wildcard especially given that the teams out west are going to be so tight and close all year no one will be able to really keep close for a wildcard in 2nd out there.

Really doesn't matter though, the winner of it all is coming out of the NL Central. Guess I am little biased though.
Gooo Cards!
jim

I can only think of one thing that could possibly make wearing a Mets ptui cap doable - not cleavage but boobage. Go topless with the mets cap. Get the lads out there and let them take a stroll down mammary lane while your hubby snaps the pix.

It may sound crazy but hear me out - not only will your dad find himself unable to show off the picture (thus saving you years of therapy) but practically no man will even realize you're actually wearing a cap, let alond a Mets ptui cap.

It's a flawless plan, trust me: Boobage + Mets ptui cap = No one remembering Michele wearing a damn Mets ptui cap.

Now if you'll excuse me I must go scrub my hands, keyboard and monitor clean to remove a certain taint...

Dude, I am not baring all for the Mets. Not gonna happen.

And for the love of jeebus, will you people stop bringing my father into this? Do you really think I would talk about exposing my boobs if my father read this weblog? Sheesh, have some class, people.

Robert, that was just so far out of bounds I don't even know what to say.

Oh, and I would never give my father the satisfaction of seeing me in a Mets cap.

Ugh. I'm thinking burqa is the way to go.

I apologize Michele, that post didn't really come out the way I meant for it too. I was going for something in the area of over the top satire and I strayed rather wide of the mark. Sorry about that.

I vote for cleavage. If it attracts attention to your issues, and focuses, uh... ummmm... I mean, if it, er...

Okay I'm busted (oops - sorry). I like cleavage. A lot.

Consider thus - it may distract people from the Mets cap.

You could wear a low-cut shirt and hold a Mets cap over the cleavage. That would be sufficiently tongue in cheek: if you make me wear the Mets hat, no cleavage for you!

(I am, of course, a Mets fan myself, but I can sympathize with what I'd do if I promised to wear Yankee apparel; it would probably produce a reaction like Mr. Creosote in The Meaning of Life).

Ooh. I like Crank's idea, Michele. Stick it to Joyner and Hawkins. Hide the cleavage.

And use a Nelson .wav: HA-ha.

I think the gas has run out of aforementioned sexism/burqa discussions, so you should not obsess on them. Personally, I also think that, although the photo with the Red Sox hat was quite flattering, it would have been even better if it had also shown your lovely smiling face. But that is just my opinion. I am sure you will come up with something equally aesthetically pleasing for the photo with the Mets hat.

Remember she'll be wearing a Mets hat, so a smile is unlikely.

As for Hawkins, he's off judging a beauty contest for Frank J so he'd probably miss the whole thing.

Heh! That lead the sox had was the fastest disappearing lead - EVER.

How can anyone NOT know the difference between boobs and cleavage?!?!? I suggest you clearly demonstrate the difference in a short photo expose.

8^)

That blogger sounds like a jerk! Screw that guy! Show your cleavage and stick it to him good!

I just want to point out here those first three starts were against the Devil Rays. This is the same team that Byung-hyun Kim came off the DL to shut out for five innings on about two hits. Your basic hog-tied Iraqi prisoner could shut them out after a full-day session with a few "liberators". Other than that, he's still a decent pitcher, I suppose. But you are right about two things: the Mets suck and cleavage rules.