Same as it ever was
I don't know. Something's missing. It's been a mere twelve days since I waved goodbye to "warblogging," but it feels like more. I thought I would feel lighter or less stressed out. I thought my mood would miraculously lift once I didn't have to deal with hate mail and evil comments. Instead, I feel a strange combination of empty and burdened.
I love writing about music and sports and all that other pop culture stuff. But I'm not too happy writing about just that. And all the rage and fire comes with reading and watching the news every day just burns a great big hole in my stomach when that fire is not quenched by spilling the words out here. I feel that connection I had with my readers - for the most part - has vanished. Perhaps it was the rage and fire that kept us connected? Maybe it's not the same when I'm writing all filler, no killer as they say. At the end of each day, I usually go back and read what I wrote on ASV. It's missing something. Every day I say to my husband, it's missing something. And he says to go back to doing what I was doing before, because I've been really cranky since I stopped. Which sort of defeats the purpose, no? It was supposed to make me less cranky. And here lies the story of my life, the thing my mother always bitched at me for; I never stick to what I say I'm going to do. And then I don't stick to not doing what I say I'm not going to do. I'm too fickle, too emotional and too inconsistent to make constant promises, especially promises pertaining to my own life. You know what pisses me off? When you have 3,000 songs in the Winamp and you put it on shuffle and it keeps hitting the same hundred songs or so. There should be a super-shuffle mode. So, yea. I go into super-shuffle mode now. Because I don't want to be that Winamp player repeating the Les Miz soundtrack over and over when somewhere in there lies a Slayer cd. Know what I'm saying? I guess, to put it simply, I could say I broke the blog and I want to fix it, but by whose standards do I fix it - mine or the people that are using it? Mine. Which is not something I would have said a few weeks ago, so I guess some things have changed. And you know what they say about the more things change.... Back to the questions and SOA shilling when I get some food in my tummy