Note: this post is part of today's Spirit of America challenge. To find out what's going on and what you missed already and how to join in, please start here and scroll up.
All the questions are in one happy place.
Questions. You ask them. I answer. And here we go again
#26: What is the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything?
42, of course.
#27: How can I aspire to be a great as you?
You can aspire all you want. Just click your heels and wish. Whether or not anything happens is another story.
I'm assuming by "great" you mean mediocrity at its best.
28. Which hockey team do you support (or do you ignore hockey altogether)?
I'm an Islander fan, though I have been known in the past to be seen in a Rangers jersey, as well as a Toronto Maple Leafs Jersey. I lost my passion for hockey when they started with all the rule changes and sissifying.
29. If you could add or remove an Olympic event, which would you change.
Remove: synchronized swimming, ping-pong and that thing the gymnasts do with the ribbons.
Add: Gladiator style fighting, celebrity death matches, air guitar and feeding terrorists to lions.
30. What's your favorite meal?
Twenty dollars worth of Taco Bell and a beer.
31. Your choice of "it," as if it could be any other way: Why do you do it?
It's alive, afraid, a lie, a sin
It's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss, it's a win
It's dark, it's moist, it's a bitter pain
It's sad it happened and it's a shame
It was in my face, and I grabbed it.
32. Who is the lamest comicbook superhero?
Everyone knows it's the old school Aquaman. Let's see, he swims and mind controls the fishies.
And he's, well...
Skeletor: Hero, my ass. Hey everyone, Luke is sleeping with Aquaman! Hahahaha!
(much laughter from crowd. Aquaman gets up and runs out the door, crying)
Spiderman: Awww, geez. Must you guys do this every time? Crow, go get him.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Comments
Before Chappelle's Show, Dave was enshrined in Squiggle-vision as one of Dr. Katz's patients, and he did a bit on Aquaman: "What the hell would you want to say to a fish?"
(http://www.ericdsnider.com/view.php?katzid=402)
Posted by: Norbizness | April 27, 2004 10:40 AM
Thanks for answering my questions.
If we have celebrity death matches in the Olympics, how do you handle the pro/amateur rules?
For feeding terrorists to lions, are the countries represented by the keepers or by the food? Or does it depend on the country?
Posted by: Mark | April 27, 2004 10:46 AM
Mark -
The Pro/Am thing is easy - they can be professional celebrities, as long as they're not professional fighters. I.e., you could have, say, Jennifer Love Hewitt, but not Mike Tyson. Granted, this disqualifies a few crossover celebs such as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, but we can probably live with that, dontcha think?
Posted by: Farmer Joe | April 27, 2004 10:49 AM
Waaaah! I heart Aquaman! In retrospect, perhaps I dislike the Dolphins so much because their colors remind me of the day I realized Aquaman didn't return my particular affections.
Posted by: Dr. Kate | April 27, 2004 11:55 AM
Followup:
How the hell does one eat $20 worth of Taco Bell and survive? That's quite a bit of food!
Posted by: meep | April 27, 2004 01:02 PM
echoing meep - that's enough burritos to gag a goat.
Posted by: Dave in Texas | April 27, 2004 01:35 PM
$20 of taco bell - I've done it. It's easier than you might think.
Posted by: Mark | April 27, 2004 03:06 PM
That's quite a bit of food!
No, that's quite a bit of volume. Its food quotient is really very low.
Posted by: gus3 | April 29, 2004 11:16 PM