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The Rick James Uprising

Hi there. Laurence of ATS here. Michele's off to Little League, having stumped me when it came to choosing a reward for contributing to the Coalition of Victorious Victory Winning Competition Contribution thing. I don't need any MP3s or any subjects discussed or legs broken or spleens flensed, so instead I asked for something truly special and wonderful, just between me and her that's legal in most states... Michele is letting me post here again. Used to do it on the oddest of occasions before, so I figured one brief shining moment, Camelot-style. And I'm even going to not link myself. Whoring is so old-fashioned. Out with the old, in with the new. But still, to prevent any confusion and to properly inform the public so as per FDA labelling requirements, I'm identifying myself so you don't think it's Michele and fill the comments with calls for boobie pics or weird fanboy stuff like that, but no links. You like apples? How's them apples? Heh. That catchphrase from the Ben and Matt Love Story rocks. But my favoritest catchphrase of the day is "I'm Rick James, bitch." I think this whole Rick James thing by Chapelle hasn't gone far enough, don't you? This could be bigger than "Where's The Beef," maybe even Bart Simpson's "Don't Have A Cow, Man." I envision a scene out of Spartacus. Rick James' revolt has been crushed by the Romans. The governor is calling for Rick James to show himself so the rest of the revolt will be set free. "I am Rick James, bitch!" he shouts out, standing proud like a Super Freak. The governor fixes his icy glare on Ri- And then another member of the revolt shouts out: "I am Rick James, bitch!" Then they all start standing up and shouting "I am Rick James, bitch!" and the slapping never ceases. I can't remember any of the rest of the movie. In fact, I just barely remember the previews of the new version from that Goran dude from E.R. And why don't I need to remember? Because I'm Rick James, bitch!
If you still want boobie shots, shame on you!


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Too many syllables for a chant. It would become unintelligible.

It would be better to have a fiery preacher type shout "I'm Rick James, Bitch!" with the "congregation" following with "Rick James Bitch" each time after the preacher gives many different interpretations of the phrase.

Preacher: "I'm Rick James Bitch!"
Congregation: "Rick James Bitch!"
P: "I said...I'm Rick James Bitch"
C: "Rick James Bitch!"
P: "I said IIIIIII AMMMMMMM Rick James Bitch!"
C: "Rick James Bitch!"
P: "I said I am RICK JAMES Bitch!"
C: "Rick James Bitch!"

You get the picture.

I'm Rick James, Bitch, and so's my wife!

Damn, and here I'd been chanting "I'm Rick James' bitch!". Idiot!

Post boobie shots!

In the movie, everyone gets crucified. "Thought we couldn't crucify you all, eh? Muahahahaha! We're Romans, bitches! We're going to be the synonym for "badass" for the next two thousand years!"

On the subject of boobies:

"I wish I had more hands so I could give those titties four thumbs down!"

see, here's where i and the blog-o-sphere differ. I thought the funniest part of the Rick James sketch was the fat, washed up Rick James himself, saying, "Cocaine's an incredible drug, man".

I like Dave Chappele. But damn this "I'm Rick James Bitch," shit is annoying. I won't deny that I'm biased though, anyone who has paid $20 for a simulcast of a Prince concert to hear "Yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaahhh" 20 times and OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" 20 times knows what I mean.

Laurence? File 13 Laurence? EA Laurence? The same Laurence that supplies me with bread recipes? You're on the wrong side, buddy. ;-) But since it's all going to a good cause, I'll let it slide. ;-)

p.s. if you'd donated through the Fusileers, I would have knitted you tiny little scarves for each of your cats - you'll never know what you missed

My cats hate scarves.

I don't know you guys, but you're a good read.
Especially you.

Ha !

And Laurence :
my car scores laps
my scars hop caps
my hat skates curves
my tongue has the nerve.

Et putain, en plus, j'suis mÍme pas un gros ricain !
Parfois, j'assure.