« He can really rock like a magikist* | Main | There's always room for Jello and/or Nomar! »

Still Kosing Trouble: Wonkette Edition

WONKETTE IS BOYCOTTING ME! I'm so thrilled that she linked me while telling people that she is going to boycott me. I love Wonkette whether she boycotts me or not. See, last night I had a dream about her. We were in a theater and she was berating me for wearing open toe sandals when it was cold out. But I got the last laugh, because Henry Rollins admired my painted toenails! Hah! I am so beholden to the immortal words of Wonkette that I pretty much do whatever she says, like all good Wonkette-ites do, so now it looks as if I'll have to boycott my own site. STOP THE HATE! STOP POISONING THE MINDS OF GOOD BLOGGERS! BOYCOTT ASV! God damn, this 7-11 coffee is loaded. It's like crack.

TrackBack

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Still Kosing Trouble: Wonkette Edition:

» I am the very model of a modern Kos blog follower from Red Wheelbarrow
Like most issues, the whole Kos thing is best described in song...(to the tune of 'I am the very model of a modern Major-General')... [Read More]

» Well. Goodness. from resurrectionsong
Tequila. Wonkette. Michele. And then there was something in there about catfights, jello wrestling, and bikinis. Yeah.... [Read More]

» The DailySpam!&trade - The unfair and imbalanced "News" source... from Who Tends the Fires
Voices from the Front. I suppose that our "friends" on the left would say that none of these matter because they're not "real" Iraqis, whatever that might be... [Read More]

Comments

Fine. I will start by not posting this comment.

That'll learn ya.

I, for one, would like Wonkette (and Nick Denton, and Gawker, et al and ad nauseum) to all fall in a deep hole. Together.

Man, I hate it when women make me choose just one of them.

I'll do Robb one better. I'm not even going to read this post!

This blog has warped my fragile little mind.

Sounds like Wonkie is still doing the Peruvian Marching Powder goose step from her big shindig last week. What's with all the "Ass f***ing"? Is that some sort of sophisticated in-joke that us benighted rubes don't know about?

I guess I may have to scale back on reading about Kerry's enormous penis for awhile.

Who am I kidding, I love a good fairy tale!

InstaMan seems enthralled by Wonkette; he has linked to her a half-dozen times or so over the past couple of months.

Except for the cute name and the cute logo on the site (the bespectacled girl in pleats at the typewriter), Wonkette offers little of value. I follow the links InstaMan suggests, and have found much of value; Wonkette is not one them. This is not to say that Wonkette has a bad site; just that there are a lot of better ones.

I, for one, would like Wonkette (and Nick Denton, and Gawker, et al and ad nauseum) to all fall in a deep hole. Together.

Seconded. Passionately.

In order to boytcott you, I'd have to actually give a crap about what you say and write in the first place, right?

Hesoid; You're here, aren't you, dear? Thanks for dropping by and reading.

Ilyka and Arbiter; Agreed, except nobody say anything bad about Choire Sicha or I'll have to hurt you.

And about that ass-fucking, I emailed Wonkette to ask if she'd like to wear the strap-on or should I. Haven't heard back yet.

Well, just to make Wonkie happy, I'll boycot you for a while. It's just about naptime anyway.
After my nap I'll decide if you've been punished enough or if I should continue the boycot until after supper.

I am SOOO behind this cause, I'll link to you just so I can delink you.

Take that!

"This would include [boycotting]: the WSJ, A Small Victory, and LGF."

That's pretty good company to run with, Michele. I think she's scared of you.

I was going to boycott you, but then I realized that I'm at work all day and would have nothing to do. So much for principle.

I give up. I'm boycotting myself.

Reminds me of the line Sandra Bernhard used to throw out at hecklers:

"Do I have to sleep with you to get you to leave me alone?"

Boycott me, I don't have a blog!

I am not posting this. This is a forgery.

Now that this is out of the way ...

What's with the A** F***ing in Wonko's post. Well, she's going to find herself with a porn-alanche with those statements.

Wow, You even got hesiod-misogyny to respond. Isn't that special. The short bus must be doing a tour.

Like crack, but without the hangovers and prostitution. --scott

Hey, doesn't Wonkette work for the same company that runs Fleshbot? That might explain some of the a**-f***ing.

I don't believe I just wrote that sentence. I'm going to start boycotting myself.

That twit Hesiod, summed up quite nicely by Pejman Yousefzadeh in this post:

http://www.pejmanesque.com/archives/005504.html

Quote of interest: "...Hesiod Theogeny [sic] is an idiot."

Quite well put, don't you think?

Laurence: I've been boycotting myself for over a month. I'm beginning to give in to my own demands, though, and the boycott might end soon.

Any woman who dreams about fine pedicures AND Henry Rollins is too cool to be boycotted.

Haven't read much Wonkette but she can't possibly be as cool as all that.

All boycotts break down. Last night I bought my first bottle of Chateauneuf du Pape in a year. It was great!

Wow, I'm witnessing a real-life version of people who think they're living in an episode of Friends. Wonkette is taking herself way too seriously if she thinks staging a "Boycott" of a web diary actually means anything. I suspect that most readers, like me, visit blogs for entertainment and to keep up on the cutting edge of current events. Painted toenails? Bwahahahaha. I wonder what color?

Wonkette was deadly serious. Yes. Absolutely.

wonkette is extremely silly; she needs to be girlcotted.

she says 'ass fucking' like that's a bad thing.

I'm so thrilled that she linked me while telling people that she is going to boycott me.

Hey, uh, I know you're all having fun. But Wonkette was making a snide joke about people who "boycott" sites like Kos by linking to them repeatedly.
...boycott those publications who would pollute the soft, clean minds of the good bloggers with such filth by linking to it themselves. This would include...

Get it? No?
Too subtle?

Okay, never mind.

I boycott myself every night. No, wait, not boycott. What's the word....

You people think I'm kidding huh? I mean it. I'm not posting this!

I read the Wookiette twice (I thought the first time must have been a joke). I realized I'd get about as much information Or entertainment from her as the nutritional value from iceberg lettuce.

The Puppy Blender had her linked, so I even added her onto my newsfeed. Michele, you're much more entertaining and far less self-absorbed.

Actually I believe the call for a**-f***ing might be an indication that our poor dear Wonkette is in need of a sound rogering. Time to get out the electra glide, my hat, and sock garters (from the official Fred Garvin« collection) and let Wonkette that Robert J. Modean is ready to fill that work order.

You boycott, you boycott, you boycott, you boycott eight things tonight! Don't make a fuckin' maniac out of me!

> And about that ass-fucking, I emailed Wonkette to
> ask if she'd like to wear the strap-on or should
> I. Haven't heard back yet.

Please keep us posted, Michele... Inquiring Minds Want To Know.

Jeff, that's a great quote! Got an attribution for it?

> And about that ass-fucking, I emailed Wonkette to
> ask if she'd like to wear the strap-on or should
> I. Haven't heard back yet.

Please keep us posted, Michele... Inquiring Minds Want To Know.

Jeff, that's a great quote! Got a source for that attribution?

Daniel in Medford

She occasionally has an amusing take, but if not, like most lowbrow comedians she lobs a few f-bombs.

Z: The problem was not in the subtelty. The problem is that the post is just stupid. If she was trying for subtle humor or caustic wit, she failed.

Hesiod: why don't you try a better method of denying that you "give a crap" about Michelle by, oh, maybe punching her in the arm and running to the other side of the playground?

Dang, she mentions a**-f***ing and does not even provide a link.

You had a dream about Henry Rollins admiring you? That's it, I'm so jealous of your imaginary encounter I'm boycotting you too...

I was trying to stay away but with all the a**-f***ing and the punishing and the strap on...how can a man stay away now?

Also the a**-f***ing is a reference to how the current administration hates gays. See even the mention annoys them.

I give her credit for posting a picture of a Michele/Wonkette catfight. But that's about it.

Hesiod: why don't you try a better method of denying that you "give a crap" about Michelle by, oh, maybe punching her in the arm and running to the other side of the playground?

Hesiod:Michelle as Michelle:Wonkette

Michelle, most of the point of Wonkette's post was the hypocritical irony of linking to something you're trying to boycott. Causticity or humor aside, making jokes about her linking to you under those circumstances is a little... unsubtle.

And let me help with the assfucking (ahem):
Kerry's campagin now "approves" their blog links. They de-linked Kos but still link Wonkette. Wonkette repeats the word "assfucking." So Kerry approves of assfucking.

I know that things that require more than one or two logical jumps aren't for everbody, so don't mind me. Please continute with the boycott.

My favorite of the bunch was the original, Elizabeth Spiers' written Gawker. (Aaah, remember the good old days of aught-3). Her new thing for New York mag, the Kicker, sucks, though it's hard to tell if she's actually doing it anymore because the updates are so infrequent. I hated Choire initially but he's grown into the job, though he's still not as funny as Spiers was initially. Wonkette started off really bad, since then I actually think she's mostly been funny, but the problem is she stupidly chooses to post on these inter-bloggy fights and very obviously take a side without even bothering to try to make a funny joke about it. She did the same thing with Atrios v Sullivan.

....soon, Wonkette was in sublime bliss as Roger Modean gave her the soundest rogering of her life. Modean understood all too well that this snarky, willful wench desired nothing less than to be used like a wet dishrag...from behind. He bucked and plunged like a demented mustang, while his charge was driven to extasy by his towering manhood.

Abruptly, Wonkette arched her back and moaned, "Now, Roger, now! Assfuck me! Make me your woman!"

She raised her rosy hindquarters in the air, blissfully unaware of the PC Camera trained on her, broadcasting Roger Modean's penultimate triumph on the ASV weblog, with links to Instapundit...

As Rob M. says, the "ass-fucking" references started after Bush said he supported an amendment to ban gay marriage. Wonko didn't appreciate that, so pretty much every third post since that time has included some reference to ass-fucking, Bush being gay, etc. Because that's what he deserves, the big meanie!

The Commissar and I had some fun with her ass-fucking fetish (and her weeks-long obsession with that now defunct Bush-campaign slogan generator) over here.

Like others above, I've been to Wonkette's site and wondered what the big deal was. Yeah, cute graphic, but other than that, it's Josh Marshall LiteTM — or, better put, Josh Marshall Even LiterTM — with artificial Sex in the City flavoring.

That said, why is it that when male bloggers feud, very few people call it a "catfight," unless they're deliberately trying to insult a male blogger by implying he's not "manly" enough? Wonkette delinked WSJ and LGF as well, but Glenn hasn't commented on that; instead, he posted a link to some Nature article about how women being "catty" is related to their menstrual cycles. What next, asking if either you or Wonkette are on the rag?

BUT THE POINT IS I NEVER CALLED FOR A BOYCOTT OF KOS - WAS AGAINST THE FUCKING BOYCOTT IDEA TO BEGIN WITH!

Sheesh. If you're gonna throw a snide post at someone, you need to get the facts straigth.

Z, the issue is that Wonkette cannot tell the difference between "saying something stupid" and saying something poisonous and vile -- i.e., calling murder victims "fucking mercenaries" who deserved what they got.

But thanks for all the condescension anyway.

Michelle, most of the point of Wonkette's post was the hypocritical irony of linking to something you're trying to boycott. Causticity or humor aside, making jokes about her linking to you under those circumstances is a little... unsubtle.

Good point. Except for the fact that not only didn't Michele ask people to boycott, she asked them not to write to Kos's advertisers.

I know that things that require more than 15 seconds of research aren't for everbody, so don't mind me. Please continute with the ass-fucking jokes.

And by the way, shame on John Kerry for refusing to "approve" Kos's little "fuck those dead Americans" sermon. It's almost like he's been fucked in the ass by John Ashcroft or something!

Wha...?

I am so dreadfully uncool. I didn't know what "Wonkette" was. I've seen the name before, but I just thought she was some chick Reynolds had the hots for, so I mainly ignored those posts in which he linked her. She just got her first hit from me, coming from you.

She boycotting you and the WSJ? But not really, she's just poking fun at your Kos reaction?

I'm sorry, I don't get that rarefied ITB hip-chick humor. I'm just a flyover person, after all.

Wow, now I have to go see what Wonkette is in the first place.

My mind is fairly well mashed up, though.. poisoning might actually help it.

If I promise to boycott, can I slap the fuck out of Hesiod?

Here is Wonkette. I think of her every second, every minute, every hour of the day.

http://www.bluejake.com/images04/2004_4_kinja/pages/IMG_0940_jpg.htm

Ali Karim Bey

Kelley, flyover?? Hartsfield is the center of the Delta universe! More like "flyinta"..

That scrawny thing? I could SO take her in a jello fight.

Wonkette = superficial, boring crap.

That's what I said originally, and I'm sticking to my story.

InstaPundit loves her because she's a semi-funny Democrat.

My money is so on michele in this one.

Ooh, now, let's talk about this jello fight. I love hot girl-on-girl action as much as the next woman, but I don't think it'd be a fair fight.

I, however, would looove to jello fight you, Michele. It would be way more even-handed. And much sexier. Brainy redneck vs. Brainy Jersey Girl. The Thrilla on Mozilla. Or something.

On second thought, let's just skip the wrestling and do the jello. With lots of vodka in!

Wonkette-ites...

Are they called Wonketteteers?

Attitude - Substance = Wonkette

Snark isn't interesting coming from someone who plainly just doesn't give a damn.

Kelley, blasphemy!!

I am a NEW YORK girl. The only time I've been to Jersey is to drive through it.

Now, bring it on, beeyotch.

Wonkette? The blogosphere spawned a Dowd. Yawn.

"Doudspawn"

that sounds gross...

Ack!!! Jersey girl???

Sorry! Sorry! My God, that would be like calling me an Alabama girl, wouldn't it? ;)

Mea culpa!

But I'm still holding you to that Jello.

These nit-wits supported an attack on Limbaugh's advertisers, because he pointed out that some anti-war protesters are Communists and they have the gall to get upset about this?

"Sorry! Sorry! My God, that would be like calling me an Alabama girl, wouldn't it?"

Hey now....

People! People! I know it's tempting to hijack this thread but let us not digress any further from the true issue here, which is of course arranging the jello wrestling match between our own dear Michele╣ and that wicked strumpet, Wonkette.

Now the way I see it we've got a lot of decisions to make here, like bikini colors, jello flavors▓, how to split the gate and who's going to handle the live video feed. Also since ass f**king has been mentioned, I think it would be a good idea to make this a cage jello match and we can dangle the strap-on from a line in center of the ring...just an idea - I'm not married to it or anything.

╣ For the uninformed and/or terminally stupid - please note that Michele is spelled with only one "L"! Thank you.
▓ My advice is for orange, relatively inoffensive. Cherry is good too and it hides blood better but you have to stay away from lime - it's just icky.

I thought Kelley was an Alabama girl... just 'cus Opelika's close to the border doesn't mean it's NOT in Alabama.

Not sure Michele could take Kelley as easily as Wonkette.

Opelika is close enough to the border to move the still in an emergency.

You know, I was having a reasonably productive day until I came accross this thread.

Now all I can think about is banging perky blog chicks six ways to sunday with vigorous abandon.

Oh well. Back to the grind.

DOH!

What next, asking if either you or Wonkette are on the rag?

THAT'S IT. I'm calling for a boycott of Michele's commenters. That's the second time today someone here stole my thunder.

On second thought, never mind. I'm too lazy to start a boycott, number one; number two, it's saved me writing a post about it (see number one).

Gee, with all the usual suspects turning up, I just had to comment.
Uhhh... what was the question, again?

O yeah, hey Hesiod, this is the second time I've seen you off the reservation in the last three days. Traffic down, or sumthin'? ;o)

Man, first the (beloved) Red Sox get dissed, now it's Alabama - Opelika, no less! I'm feelin no love in ASV land today. I should probably become a Wonketeer, but I just don't have it in me.

Hey! How'd y'all know about my stint in Opelika? Been reading my blog, hmmm?

Opelika is in Alabama. I live in Atlanta!

Seikimori, if you live in Alabama, I am sure you grace it admirably. ;)

Michele,

I can't boycott you today; it's Monday and that's the day I wash my hair. Tomorrow I'm boycotting green leafy vegetables, and Wednesday is booked solid - I promised my daughter I'd teach her how to boycott housework, although I really think she's a natural; her room shows definite promise and even a modicum of talent in the "clean folded clothes mixed in with the dirty laundry" department. I'm proud of her.

Will Thursday...say, between 11:00 and 2:00 work for you?

Also, I wanted to ask if you've ever had your colors done....if green isn't in your color palette, you might want to consider a different shade of Jello.

Attention to detail is the mark of an intelligent mind. You are, after all, a Grammar Goddess. There are standards to be kept.

If I killfile Wonkette, does that make her Plonkette?

That settles it. I'm boycottin' all o' y'all, right now!

The line forms to the right, so step right up for the boycottin' of your lives.

Who would've thought this about little Wonkette? The Mean Queen of the Blogosphere is an extreme leftwing Kos apologist. No wonder she linked to my site and made fun of it last month. Wonkette, you short haired, deadly, winking, sniggering, snuggling, chromium plated, scent-impregnated, luminous, quivering, giggling, fruit-flavored, America baiting, writer's blocked, Bozo the clown funny, Bridget Jones Diary licking, Rosie O'Donnell magazine thumbing piece of typo, you've just written the worst piece in your tragedy filled run on the blogosphere.

Seikimori, if you live in Alabama, I am sure you grace it admirably.

Born and mostly raised. Only recently escaped to glorious Florida. Still must defend the land of my birth, however. It's kind of like the despised-little-brother syndrome...I can beat him up but no one else can.

Ali,

Thanks for posting Wonkette's photo url. How did you find it? She is a cutie!

-PH

BUT THE POINT IS I NEVER CALLED FOR A BOYCOTT OF KOS - WAS AGAINST THE FUCKING BOYCOTT IDEA TO BEGIN WITH!

Sheesh. If you're gonna throw a snide post at someone, you need to get the facts straigth.

Posted by: michele

---This is true. I remember I posted a message on this blog asking people to get involved with the very successful e-mail campaign to get the 4 Democratic candidates for congress to pull their ads from the Daily Kos blog. Michelle deleted my comment and put a sweet little crying bunny picture there instead.

http://asmallvictory.net/mt/mt-tb.cgi/5263

It was the first comment. I apologized a few comments later for my first comment.

Ricky, you really should be honored you got that bunny.

Allah,
you beat me to the post. So sorry for the double posting of that link.

By the way Allah, since Wonkette seems to be really you know...hard up. Could you make sure when Bush kills Bin Laden, Wonkette's one of the 72 virgins he receives in paradise. He'll be in HELL for eternity.

Ricky, you really should be honored you got that bunny.

Posted by: michele

---Michele,
I am honored. And surprised. I thought you were going to ban me like the John Kerry campaign blog for asking whether John Kerry was impotent, since he had his prostate removed last year.

Au contraire, I read every single reply and memorized them for posterity.

Hey, instapundit stole my line about "The Thrilla on Mozilla." And I didn't even get credit! Boo hoo! ;)

Heh heh -- section9 said "penultimate."

Z's scandalous accusation against Outdoor John:

"Kerry's campagin now "approves" their blog links. They de-linked Kos but still link Wonkette. Wonkette repeats the word "assfucking." So Kerry approves of assfucking."

This is a distortion. Technically, yes, he approves of it. But he wants it gradually phased in over the next six years.

If you read American Prospect you would know stuff like this.

BTW - Way to get boycotted, Michelle. I'll still read you, though, so long as you don't let that sociopathic anal queen know.

sniff..........ahhhhhhhhhh......

"This is a distortion. Technically, yes, he approves of it. But he wants it gradually phased in over the next six years."

Glenn: a gradual phase-in policy, when combined with generous government lubricant subsidies, makes ass-fucking much less painful for the woman or other sexual minority being anally penetrated. You Republicans are quick to sneer, but we Democrats understand good public policy far better than you do.

This is my first time here? What is this a-- f--ing, is that like fisking?

This is fitting. For once, Nick Denton's ample marketing outlays will go to driving traffic to a well-thought and intelligent blog, as opposed to a halfwit Washington reject who has about as much of a claim to "insider" status as the cabbie who drove me to work this morning. Looks like Miss Cox is dead-set on handing her absurd number of readers over to sites that can actually pull off a coherent thought without asking permission from the boss. (Hint to Ann Marie Cox, reading Roll Call in the morning does not give you any more insight than the next guy.)

So, does Instapundit have his new sports car paid off yet? Perhaps then he can stop carrying Denton's water . . .

Wow. Talk about having WAY too much free time.

We're talking about ass-fisking here? If that's the case, does MQ imply he's got a better pubic policy?

MQ - "You Republicans are quick to sneer, but we Democrats understand good public policy far better than you do."

Wow, you understand a couple of other things better than I do, too.

If you are female (no other "sexual minorities", please) you should come over to my house some time. We could have a few drinks, surf the blogs, and do some serious ass-fisking!