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I Can Be Just as Boring as Kottke

I'm just following a trend. I bought a huge box of garbage bags yesterday. I only use Hefty Draw-String bags (large, unscented) for the kitchen. Nothing else will do. I've tried those store-brand bags, but they tend to break easily and the last thing I need is to be carrying the garbage out to the can and the bag breaks and my neighbor or uncle or little cousin is standing there when things like an empty tube of K-Y jelly and a slightly greasy looking cucumber fall to the ground. Trust me, the strong bags are worth the extra money. Last time I used the cheap bag I had to pay my neighbor $50 to keep quiet about the receipt for the Coldplay cd that slipped out of the torn side of the bag. I have a reputation to keep, you know. So, anyhow. I bought some Hefty garbage bags, a box of 100 in fact, and hopefully that will keep my uncle from every setting eyes on my discarded collection of 70's porn again.

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» Quote of the Week from c0llision.org
Michele's latest entry from A Small Victory wins the "Too Much Information" Award (with my emphasis): I bought a huge box of garbage bags yesterday. I only use Hefty Draw-String bags (large, unscented) for the kitchen. Nothing else will do.... [Read More]

» A Meme To Die (Of Boredom) For from Ipse Dixit
Since all the cool kids are doing it, Ipse Dixit feels a certain obligation to play along.... I bought two... [Read More]

» It's Friday, Make Me Laugh! from Wunderkinder
Okay, I will. Funniest thing I've heard all week, from the comments to this post: You threw away porn?!! That's like putting a puppy to sleep! You could've found it a good home!... [Read More]

» Following the Meme from Overtaken by Events
God, I hope this one is permanent. I got a new phone. It's heavier than my old phone. The keylock... [Read More]

» Following the Meme from Overtaken by Events
God, I hope this one is permanent. I got a new phone. It's heavier than my old phone. The keylock... [Read More]

» The boring post meme from O'DonnellWeb
I normally avoid participating in memes, but I just can't pass up the chance to hang out (virtually speaking) with... [Read More]

» Ennui from One Fine Jay
Started by Famous Author Rob, joined by Michele, and inspired by Kottke, I bring to you my participation in this not-so-fun game. Nail clippers I have one nail clipper in my home. I need it sharp so that my nails don't hurt me when I scratch mys... [Read More]

» graphics/2/letters/w.gif">hat a Gripping Life You Do Lead from Sekimori.org - Live Blog
Because I can't pass up any opportunity to grease a *cough* A-lister... We bought my daughter a little chapstick huggie at the grocery store yesterday. It is a neoprene sleeve with a belt hook attached, and the included chapstick smells... [Read More]

» Boring Fun With Vegetables from Mind of Mog
Now this I can do, be boring, but not like Michele. No way was she Kottke boring when she posted this:I've tried those store-brand bags, but they tend to break easily and the last thing I need is to be carrying the garbage out to the can and the bag... [Read More]

» Blah from Mental Masturbation
This started over at Kottke: Doormat A brand new doormat appeared at the front door of our apartment building a short time ago. In the winter, the stairs get extremely dirty due to snow/rain and the super's negligence in mopping them, so the mat... [Read More]

Comments

You know, on the surface, this looks to be a very innocuous post.

But I know that what you're really trying to convey is the idea that the penalty for spending too little money and attention on post-Cold War terrorism prevention (i.e. the cheapo bags) will ultimately result in disaster and ruin (the bag breaking in front of friends and neighbors), not to mention the lives of countless innocents (the KY tubes). Your mention of Coldplay was merely a hint at the moral of the 9/11 hearings this week: that there is a price to be paid for the Clinton Administration being "yellow" for 8 years: (So then I took my turn/Oh what a thing to have done/And it was all 'Yellow.') The "discarded '70s porn collection" mention? Why, that was a metaphor for the "green door" of international security, behind which we will find the answers if the Coalition of the Many maintains the political leadership and statesmanship to persevere through the "gangbang of radical Islamist terrorism."

Isn't it all transparent? Can't slip this one by us that easily, babe. Nice try, though.

I'm confused here... what is the trend? "Solutions gone wrong"??

"empty tube of K-Y jelly and a slightly greasy looking cucumber"

Too much information. I was going to have a salad for lunch, but the though of seeing sliced cucumber in it would have been too much.

OMG YES! Cheap trashbags SUCK.

And yet, about once a year or so we fall for them again. Like they have somehow had a breakthrough in the formula and that pathetic 2 inch roll of 6 billion bags can do the trick with out quadruple bagging. And once more there's the smell of coffe grounds and salmon smeared all over the kitchen floor.

The point you are all missing here about trash bags is that you are throwing them away. You are spending a buttload of money for something you know is going to be tossed.
I think you have all been brainwashed into thinking that the name Hefty is somehow better when in truth, the storebrand garbage bags are made by hefty and other big name companies.

I envision a new ad campaign for the Hefty&trade people.

"Hefty&trade. So your neighbors don't see your secret garbage."

Yeah, okay, it sucks. Sue me.

" I bought some Hefty garbage bags, a box of 100 in fact, and hopefully that will keep my uncle from every setting eyes on my discarded collection of 70's porn again."

Again?

COLDPLAY???

OK, that's it, I have no more illusions to be shattered...

You threw away porn?!! That's like putting a puppy to sleep! You could've found it a good home! It'll still "work", you know.

Has anyone else noticed that the plastic bags from the grocery store aren't as sturdy as they used to be? I used to use them to line my small wastebaskets in lieu of buying the ones made specifically for that job, but now it seems that most of them are splitting and tearing just from the weight of whatever I originally purchased in them, and so I have to toss them.

It's a conspiracy to force us to buy bags. Thank god for Big Lots - they have cheap ones that are even vanilla scented. Now, that's progress.

"Thank god for Big Lots - they have cheap ones that are even vanilla scented. Now, that's progress."

Vanilla scented trash bags?!?! I'm torn between that and the greasy cucumber as the worse thing in this thread.

How big and long was the cucumber? Just want to see if mine measures up. LOL. I love your blogs!

How big and long was the cucumber? Just want to see if mine measures up. LOL. I love your blogs!

Ya know... you'd eliminate the cost of buying this particular veggie for this particular purpose if you just frequented an adult store. Eventually, you'd come out a'head. HEE HEE...

Disgusting! I just wasn't expecting to read that today...

I've got to disagree with kat. I've tried the cheap bags too, and they definitely break much more easily than Hefty. I wish that it wasn't true, but sometimes the brand-name things really are better--if Hefty makes the cheap-o ones, they're doing a crappy job.

See, you can't even be boring when you try :-)

But Wisco, it's a trash bag. If you don't pack them so full that they are bound to rip, they do the job they are intended for without breaking. Don't overstuff them. It's a trash bag and you are throwing your money away when you buy the expensive ones. They go to the curb where they are never seen again. Wasted money.
I have been buying generic trash bags at the dollar store for years and never had a single one bust. I spend $5.00 for 100 trash bags and you spend what? $5.00 for 30.

Your suppose to put your trash in bags and put it outside?

No wonder I'can't find anything in this mess.

Great - there goes the weekend.

Not to defend Kottke, cause, well, I wouldn't do that, but there were blogs before warblogs, and there are people who can make a post about nothing interesting.

When I lived in Australia they had eucalyptus-scented trash bags. I came to enjoy putting out a new trash bag. I can't find them here.

They also had an orange-scented dish soap. It was not overpowering. After a couple years, though, they stopped making it. And I mourned.

I hope this has been dull enough.

There were blogs before warblogs? REALLY?!?