From the PETAfiles, vol. 26
A few years ago, when PETA realized that meat-eating adults weren't listening to their propaganda, they decided to target children instead. Kids are easier to guilt than adults. Show them a few dead animals, tell them that their parents are murderers and suddenly you have a vegetarian activist on your hand. And when the kids get just a bit older, you can indocrinate them into the world of activism through guilt.
PETA has become notorious for using children to fight their battles. They've handed out stickers, told kids to cut up mom and dad's credit cards, and handed out scary comic books and calling parents nasty names in front of the children. That's just for starters. There's also the Burger King bloody crowns, the cow episodes and many, many more acts of child abuse.
Welcome to the latest episode of Veganism By Fear: Bucket o' Blood.
[click for bigger and bloodier image]
bq. As the latest salvo in its campaign to get people to “kick the bucket” and boycott KFC for its cruelty to chickens, PETA has created its own “Bloody Bucket,” spoofing KFC’s iconic corpse receptacle. PETA will be handing out the buckets—filled with “bones,” “feathers,” an evil “Col. Sanders” figure, a plastic chicken with her throat slit, and lots of fake blood—to kids at KFC locations nationwide.
I'd like to use the rest of this entry to make a plea to PETA:
Dear PETA activists,
I plead with you, even beg of you, to please come to my local KFC with your traveling circus of freaks. The address is 2428 Hempstead Tpke, East Meadow, NY. If you need directions, or you just want to call ahead to let them know that you will be harrassing their customers, the number is (516) 731-9256.
I'll be looking at the PETA site often to find out if you plan an action at this particular site, which I really hope you do, because I would really be happy to meet all of you.
I'll bring my young, impressionable, vulnerable children. I'll send them out of the car alone, money in hand. Then, when you approach them with your bucket of propaganda, my children will follow the instructions I gave them and, if all goes well, the activist who had the unfortunate opportunity of approaching my kids will be met with a pie in the face. Oh, not just any pie. A meat pie. MMmm....meat. Oh, the younger one will be wearing this Davy Crockett hat he's had since he was little. You know, the raccoon hat. We're going to make a racoon's head out of paper mache and smear blood all over it, then attach it to the hat. My daughter will be wearing this shirt.
And then I will get out of the car, take my kids by the hand, and walk into KFC, where I will purchase $50 worth of chicken. We will then seat ourselves at the picnic table outside of the store and proceed to eat the yummy chicken. And with each bite, one of us will imitate a crying chicken.
We'll have a good laugh, my kids and I. Oh sure, I won't be making much of a point, and I'll have stooped to your level, but damn, that's going to be fun.
I dare you. I triple dog dare you (oops, was that offensive to dogs?) to come at me. After all, I'm a meat eater. I'm probably unstable or mentally deficient from all those toxic things that the Angry Meat Overlord injects into cows and pigs. I may or may not follow the plan I set forth above. I just might snap when I see that bucket of blood gimmick in action and that's when I'll beat the shit out of you, carve a chunk of skin off of your face and eat it right in front of you.
Soylent Green is PETA activists!
See you at KFC!
bq. As the latest salvo in its campaign to get people to “kick the bucket” and boycott KFC for its cruelty to chickens, PETA has created its own “Bloody Bucket,” spoofing KFC’s iconic corpse receptacle. PETA will be handing out the buckets—filled with “bones,” “feathers,” an evil “Col. Sanders” figure, a plastic chicken with her throat slit, and lots of fake blood—to kids at KFC locations nationwide.
I'd like to use the rest of this entry to make a plea to PETA:
Dear PETA activists,
I plead with you, even beg of you, to please come to my local KFC with your traveling circus of freaks. The address is 2428 Hempstead Tpke, East Meadow, NY. If you need directions, or you just want to call ahead to let them know that you will be harrassing their customers, the number is (516) 731-9256.
I'll be looking at the PETA site often to find out if you plan an action at this particular site, which I really hope you do, because I would really be happy to meet all of you.
I'll bring my young, impressionable, vulnerable children. I'll send them out of the car alone, money in hand. Then, when you approach them with your bucket of propaganda, my children will follow the instructions I gave them and, if all goes well, the activist who had the unfortunate opportunity of approaching my kids will be met with a pie in the face. Oh, not just any pie. A meat pie. MMmm....meat. Oh, the younger one will be wearing this Davy Crockett hat he's had since he was little. You know, the raccoon hat. We're going to make a racoon's head out of paper mache and smear blood all over it, then attach it to the hat. My daughter will be wearing this shirt.
And then I will get out of the car, take my kids by the hand, and walk into KFC, where I will purchase $50 worth of chicken. We will then seat ourselves at the picnic table outside of the store and proceed to eat the yummy chicken. And with each bite, one of us will imitate a crying chicken.
We'll have a good laugh, my kids and I. Oh sure, I won't be making much of a point, and I'll have stooped to your level, but damn, that's going to be fun.
I dare you. I triple dog dare you (oops, was that offensive to dogs?) to come at me. After all, I'm a meat eater. I'm probably unstable or mentally deficient from all those toxic things that the Angry Meat Overlord injects into cows and pigs. I may or may not follow the plan I set forth above. I just might snap when I see that bucket of blood gimmick in action and that's when I'll beat the shit out of you, carve a chunk of skin off of your face and eat it right in front of you.
Soylent Green is PETA activists!
See you at KFC!
Comments
"Soylent Green is PETA activists!"
Heh.. Even canibals wouldn't eat stuff made out of them...
Posted by: JonB | March 26, 2004 10:47 AM
Awesome. I hate PETA soooo much.
Posted by: Drew | March 26, 2004 10:49 AM
One of the best T-shirts I ever saw: PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals
Posted by: John S. | March 26, 2004 10:56 AM
"Soylent Green is PETA activists!"
Bwahahahahahahahahaha.
That will keep me going all day, thanks.
:-D
Posted by: tommy | March 26, 2004 10:58 AM
Attention:
I'm trying to read this site, linked from Allahpundit. However, the side menu is placing itself smack-dab in the middle of the page rendering the main entries unreadable.
Posted by: GW | March 26, 2004 11:01 AM
I like to ask PETA activists, "What was it like when you had your canine teeth removed - you know, the ones that are only good for tearing meat?"
When they respond that they haven't had their canine teeth removed, I say, "Oh, so you're not THAT committed to your cause?"
Heh.
Posted by: ScottC | March 26, 2004 11:09 AM
i eat meat like a motherfucker, but im glad someone is out there battling the meat industry so it doesnt get out of hand. its all about balance.
Posted by: misterafternoon | March 26, 2004 11:16 AM
GW - make sure you have your screen maximized.
Posted by: michele | March 26, 2004 11:17 AM
you are my hero, michele :)
Posted by: erin | March 26, 2004 11:21 AM
i eat meat like a motherfucker
How exactly does a motherfucker eat meat? Can you demonstrate, please?
Posted by: michele | March 26, 2004 11:24 AM
I think we should have KFC delivered to their headquarters. Take the fight to them...ha
Posted by: Dell | March 26, 2004 11:26 AM
Uh, doesn't "kick the bucket" mean "die"? PETA wants people to die?
Posted by: Stephen Silver | March 26, 2004 11:34 AM
Heeeeyy, A 3 Stooges approach to non-violent confrontation. I like it.
wooo woo wooo wooo wooo woo wooowooo!
Posted by: Dave in Texas | March 26, 2004 11:37 AM
I wonder if that fake blood will damage a car's paint job.
I'd love to find out on one of these PETA freaks' cars, though.
Posted by: Evil Otto | March 26, 2004 11:44 AM
My 10 year old son would think a bucket of plastic chicken parts in fake blood is cool. It could rival mini-beanie babies as the best fast-food toy giveawy ever!
Posted by: Chris O'Donnell | March 26, 2004 11:56 AM
I tried a vegetarian diet once. Too stringy.
Ray
Posted by: Ray | March 26, 2004 12:16 PM
Uh, doesn't "kick the bucket" mean "die"? PETA wants people to die?
In a word: Yes.
Posted by: Crank | March 26, 2004 12:27 PM
Michele,
Does that T.A.L.E.N.T. organization have a website?
Posted by: Jim | March 26, 2004 12:34 PM
Has any ever seen PETA activist when the have the whole holocaust gitup. They compare the farms to concentration camps. It's rather disgusting.
Posted by: INFIDEL | March 26, 2004 12:34 PM
This is scary, only in the sence that it target kids. http://www.peta.org/feat/meatrix/
Posted by: INFIDEL | March 26, 2004 12:40 PM
I couldn't agree more about the abject insanity of PETA, Michele. They cloak their hyper-extreme views behind the fact that virtually everyone is in favor of "ethical treatment" for animals.
However, most of us understand that humans are part of the food chain, and beyond that, even most of the people who prefer NOT to eat meat still have no desire to force everyone else in the world to do as they do. I think a lot of PETA's nominal supporters do not fully grasp just how radical PETA is.
Posted by: MikeR | March 26, 2004 12:53 PM
If we're not supposed to eat animals, why do they taste like meat?
PETA hit an all time low when they tried to run an ad in Vancouver exploiting the Pickton Pig Farm serial killings.
http://www.animalrights.net/articles/2002/000348.html
Posted by: john | March 26, 2004 01:21 PM
Is it wrong that PETA's Bucket-o'-Death made me salivate hungrily?
BTW, that Meatrix thingie is much funnier if you mute the volume. Love the cow and the Agri-Corp Bot.
Posted by: Sal M | March 26, 2004 02:06 PM
what is the sound a screaming chicken makes...hard to imagine a screaming cluck...
It would be good to have the kids wearing the People for the Eating of Tasty Animals t-shirts...
Posted by: jimf | March 26, 2004 02:29 PM
I think that you should also carry a gun when going to KFC. Might as well piss off everyone.
Posted by: Kate | March 26, 2004 02:47 PM
what Chris O'Donnell said. I can think of several kids I know who'd be very amused by "Bucket 'O' Blood".
still, I think it's really creepy that PETA has had to stoop to trying to terrify children, or to turn them against their parents.
if I had a kid, and I knew PETA was doing this near me, I'd go to KFC, hand my offspring a few bucks with instructions to go in and get whatever deepfried chicken part is this weeks special, and when the PETA goons approached him or her, call the cops and report "suspicious activity, possibly trying to kidnap a minor"
heh. I'd like to see some of the local cops go medieval on the PETA protestors.
Posted by: beakergirl | March 26, 2004 02:51 PM
actually, I kinda like that "I am not a nugget" sticker.
Maybe I'll start printing some up that say "I am not a captive audience" and hand them out to people going into PETA territory.
(damn, I can't come up with anything better than "captive audience". That's just not very punchy.)
Posted by: beakergirl | March 26, 2004 02:54 PM
PETA is nutty, no doubt, but so is the way we go about bringing beef and chicken to the local grocery store. And not just the way the animals are treated but also the poor bastard humans who are stuck working at the slaughterhouses.
I'm an omnivore for sure (though I confess with being a lacto-ovo vegetarian for most of my 20s), but I ease my conscious (or try to) by only buying/eating organic.
Posted by: Edw. | March 26, 2004 03:19 PM
Apparently this horror didn't work out.
Was worth a poem though. Heh.
Posted by: Stephen | March 26, 2004 03:43 PM
I think it's only a matter of time until PETA slaughters and butchers one of its members, live (and dead), onstage, just to show everyone how wrong it is to kill animals.
Posted by: Angie Schultz | March 26, 2004 04:06 PM
...gorging yourselves on that $50 worth of KFC should go a long way toward poisoning your immune system. Haven't you read "Fast Food Nation"? Do you have any idea what goes on in the kitchens of KFC?
Posted by: Brad | March 26, 2004 05:18 PM
I made this for a Fark PETA thread a couple of weeks back.
Posted by: Mike | March 26, 2004 06:38 PM
man, i gotta get one of those buckets o' blood and send it to john waters---he would love it and it would go beautifully with his collection!
Posted by: undertoad | March 26, 2004 07:16 PM
Posted by: Alan Kellogg | March 26, 2004 10:05 PM
This is terrific. Good food, good fun. We get great chicken, and piss of the PETA-ers.
How often do you get a win-win? I mean really.
Extra crispy, original recipe...MMMMM!
Posted by: Dave in Texas | March 26, 2004 11:04 PM
Piss "off". Off.
of would just be gross.
Posted by: Dave in Texas | March 26, 2004 11:05 PM
"I think it's only a matter of time until PETA slaughters and butchers one of its members..."
I hope they don't stop with just one.
Posted by: dave | March 27, 2004 08:17 AM
Straight from the Fark files... This should piss PETA off..hehe
Posted by: mr. lawson | March 27, 2004 09:02 AM
I realize y'all like to get up a good head fulla hate, and PETA seems like a good target. But have you considered who and what you're defending?
KFC and the poultry industry:
**has one of the worst worker safety records in modern history.
**is one of the USAs top 5 polluters.
**breaks unions, forces unpaid overtime, and leaves injured workers withot pay or benefits of any kind.
**keeps genetically-modified animals in filthy, shit-encrusted cages--to small to stand up in--for their entire lives (after cutting off their beaks so they can't commit suicide).
You seem to really, really hate the wat PETA send their message, but you seem silent about the actual message itself.
Besides, what kind of mom gives he kid a t-shirt that says "asshole" on it?
Posted by: Don Myers | March 29, 2004 12:33 PM
Don, don't forget they also make tasty fired chicken. All the rest of that stuff's just a bonus.
Posted by: David Gillies | April 5, 2004 06:08 PM
Um, fried.
Posted by: David Gillies | April 5, 2004 06:26 PM