A few years ago, when PETA realized that meat-eating adults weren't listening to their propaganda, they decided to target children instead. Kids are easier to guilt than adults. Show them a few dead animals, tell them that their parents are murderers and suddenly you have a vegetarian activist on your hand. And when the kids get just a bit older, you can indocrinate them into the world of activism through guilt
PETA has become notorious for using children to fight their battles. They've handed out stickers
, told kids to cut up mom and dad's credit cards
, and handed out scary comic books
and calling parents nasty names in front of the children. That's just for starters. There's also the Burger King
bloody crowns, the cow episodes
and many, many more acts of child abuse.
Welcome to the latest episode of Veganism By Fear: Bucket o' Blood
[click for bigger and bloodier image]
bq. As the latest salvo in its campaign to get people to “kick the bucket” and boycott KFC for its cruelty to chickens, PETA has created its own “Bloody Bucket,” spoofing KFC’s iconic corpse receptacle. PETA will be handing out the buckets—filled with “bones,” “feathers,” an evil “Col. Sanders” figure, a plastic chicken with her throat slit, and lots of fake blood—to kids at KFC locations nationwide.
I'd like to use the rest of this entry to make a plea to PETA:
Dear PETA activists,
I plead with you, even beg of you, to please come to my local KFC with your traveling circus of freaks. The address is 2428 Hempstead Tpke, East Meadow, NY. If you need directions, or you just want to call ahead to let them know that you will be harrassing their customers, the number is (516) 731-9256.
I'll be looking at the PETA site often to find out if you plan an action at this particular site, which I really hope you do, because I would really be happy to meet all of you.
I'll bring my young, impressionable, vulnerable children. I'll send them out of the car alone, money in hand. Then, when you approach them with your bucket of propaganda, my children will follow the instructions I gave them and, if all goes well, the activist who had the unfortunate opportunity of approaching my kids will be met with a pie in the face. Oh, not just any
pie. A meat pie. MMmm....meat. Oh, the younger one will be wearing this Davy Crockett hat he's had since he was little. You know, the raccoon hat
. We're going to make a racoon's head out of paper mache and smear blood all over it, then attach it to the hat. My daughter will be wearing this shirt
And then I will get out of the car, take my kids by the hand, and walk into KFC, where I will purchase $50 worth of chicken. We will then seat ourselves at the picnic table outside of the store and proceed to eat the yummy chicken. And with each bite, one of us will imitate a crying chicken.
We'll have a good laugh, my kids and I. Oh sure, I won't be making much of a point, and I'll have stooped to your level, but damn, that's going to be fun.
I dare you. I triple dog dare you (oops, was that offensive to dogs?) to come at me. After all, I'm a meat eater. I'm probably unstable or mentally deficient from all those toxic things that the Angry Meat Overlord injects into cows and pigs. I may or may not follow the plan I set forth above. I just might snap when I see that bucket of blood gimmick in action and that's when I'll beat the shit out of you, carve a chunk of skin off of your face and eat it right in front of you.
Soylent Green is PETA activists!
See you at KFC!