Quick review of Secret Window: It sucked. Longer version: If you are going into this movie expecting something scary, don't bother. If you're looking for a taut psychological drama, don't bother. If you're looking for thrills and chills and a bit of terror, wait for Dawn of the Dead. Even a shitty remake of a cheesy movie has to be better than Secret Window. Johnny Depp must have been doing someone a personal favor when he signed onto this film, because he sleepwalks through his role. Though, that could be the crapfest of dialogue he was given to work with. Hokey, predictable (my eleven year old son had it figured out early on in the movie) and tedious. Oh, and that PG-13 rating? Unecessary. The only "sexual content" was a flashback shot of two adults in bed (no nudity) getting caught in the act. If you blink, the scene is over. Violence? Most of it implied. Terror? Please. Gore and blood? I've seen more blood playing Tony Hawk Underground. Rating: Five pieces of crap on the crap-o-meter (five being worst). Speaking of the crap-o-meter, tonight's Simpsons episode would have clogged up the bowl.