Thus far, the comment of the day:
bq.
RALL RULES! All you fascists eat your own shit on tablecloths with eyeholes cut out. I can't even begin to say how superior we are to you! Kerry, Hillary, Dean, etc are the future! There is no room for your hate mongering, tiny brained, cross burning kind in our new world order. We will remake the world in our image. All out war - no more fascist conservatives!
Alrighty. Let's forget the New World Order, skip over the facism, ignore the hate mongering comment.
What I want to know is this:
Why do the tablecloths have to have eyeholes cut out of them? Can't we eat shit on
nice tablecloths? I mean, is someone going to wear it after we're done eating? And is it a nice plastic checkered tablecloth or is it one of those linen deals? It would be much easier to get the shit stains off of plastic than linen, you know.
Oh, wait. I bet it's a
white tablecloth, right? And, when we are done eating, one of us will put on the white table cloth with the eyeholes and look like a KKK member, right?
Well, they don't wear tablecloths, dummy. They wear sheets.
Although, once my mom used a old sheet as a tablecloth when we were having cherry ice-pops and coloring with magic markers, because she didn't want us to ruin that cute Fourth of July tablecloth she had. I imagine if we put eyeholes in that one she would have been
pissed. Then again, we weren't shit eating facists...yet. That came later. And it was a beige sort of sheet, with flowers. I think a KKK member would look very funny dressed like that. Come to think of it, they could use some levity at their gatherings, no? Judging from that movie
American X, those KKK dudes are all business, really serious. So, no. They wouldn't wear a Laura Ashley sheet over their heads. Unless all their other white hooded garments were at the Nazi dry cleaners and there was an emergency cross burning and they had nothing else to wear. I imagine in that case, the red checkered tablecloth would do. And the dude's wife would let him cut eyeholes in it for the sake of the clan. But that shit eating part, I just don't get. Wouldn't we put it on plates and not directly on the tablecloth?
I guess I just didn't get that guy's comment at all.
Oh his email address is f@u.com.....oh. Hehehehe. That's clever. Those superior anti-fascists. Always coming up with teh funny.
Comments
ooh,ooh,I think I get it.They hate war and will kill all of us that stand in the way of their NWO.So,like,meet the new boss....
Posted by: mbruce | March 5, 2004 11:53 AM
we should take his "all out war" seriously??
c'mon.... we're talking liberals. They don't believe in owning guns. Oh, and we do... just bring your "all out war"... we're ready.
Posted by: Jim S | March 5, 2004 11:55 AM
What I want to know is if it is cooked or raw shit? How is it prepared, if cooked? Or would it be more appropriate raw in a spring roll? Sushi shit with a wasabi sauce, perhaps?
Posted by: Leonidas | March 5, 2004 11:56 AM
Essentially, he's saying 'Death to all intolerance'. Clever boy, ain't he?
Posted by: John Barrett, Jr. | March 5, 2004 12:02 PM
i liked the part about us being fascists yet "We will remake the world in our image" seems to be a central focus of his agenda.
Posted by: Tom Alday | March 5, 2004 12:21 PM
Ooooohhhh, you're supposed to cut out eyeholes</>? No wonder I've been running into everything.
Posted by: Shelby | March 5, 2004 12:29 PM
Oops, forgot to close that italics tag there. Sorry.
Posted by: Shelby | March 5, 2004 12:31 PM
white sheets? two words: robert byrd.
Posted by: hen | March 5, 2004 12:54 PM
Ooh, look, Puce got a dictionary!
Treacher, where are you? No real person could write such blathering insanity with a straight face.
Posted by: andy | March 5, 2004 12:55 PM
RALL RULES!
To Bill
All you fascists,
eat your own shit,
on tablecloths with eyeholes cut out.
I can't even begin
to say how superior we are to you!
In the room the women come and go talking
of Michele Catalano
Kerry, Hillary,
Dean, etc are the future! There is no room
for your hate mongering,
tiny brained, cross burning
kind in our new world order.
We will remake the world in our image. All out war - no more fascist conservatives!
In the room the women come and go talking
of Michele Catalano
This is the way Rall ends.
This is the way Rall ends.
This is the way Rall ends.
Not with a bang, but a whimper.
Posted by: Aravis | March 5, 2004 01:08 PM
Since youre typing, you brownshirts all must be able to tie nooses with one hand. We certainly know you don't have cocks to fill the other hand.
Will the nooses still hold? After all dont negroes and all minorities have greater bone density? Don't they teach you that at grand wizard school?
Posted by: Bill | March 5, 2004 01:12 PM
hey now wait a sec... i thought that if you wanted to hate fascists you had to be able to properly identify one? Is Michele a Blue-Footed Fascist? Is she a snowy fascist? A spotted fascist? Am I a Gold fascist? A red-breasted fascist?
Posted by: pril | March 5, 2004 01:14 PM
Bill, what is it with you (obviously college-aged) dudes and dick size?
Of course i have no cock to hold in my hand, I'm a WOMAN. As is Michele...
However, i have enough BOOBS for you, your mom and your girlfriend/wife to all hold at the same time, and probably some left over. And more balls than you ever will have.
Posted by: pril | March 5, 2004 01:16 PM
Mmmkayyy, Dean is the wave of the future, which is why he had his ass handed to him repeatedly through the primaries and ended up having to beg for money to pay off his campaign expenses. That's some wave you got there.
Posted by: Ryan | March 5, 2004 01:18 PM
what as AMACHER
Posted by: Puce | March 5, 2004 01:25 PM
Bill, are you Puce's American cousin? If not, then you must be Rall's speechwriter.
Posted by: mary | March 5, 2004 01:26 PM
Aravis: That was pure, unadulterated genius. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock combined with what appears to be Rage Against the Machine. I laughed so hard I'm still wiping tears from my eyes.
Posted by: Gregory Litchfield | March 5, 2004 01:34 PM
Gregoy, you eediot! Bill's going to pounce on that little mistake. Aravis was pastiching "The Hollow Men," not Prufrock. Way to show our idiot underbellies to the superior being!
Posted by: Brian Jones | March 5, 2004 01:38 PM
Aravis, beautiful.
Bill, if you'd like I can come to Colorado and do the shit eating tablecloth dance right in front of you. How are things in CO, anyhow?
Posted by: michele | March 5, 2004 01:39 PM
The first thing I though of when I read that comment:
"You're revolution is over! Do you hear me Mr. Lebowski, The Bums Loose, The Bums Loose!"
Or something like that, I couldn't remember it verbatim.
Posted by: Danno | March 5, 2004 01:42 PM
Is this related to the philosophical school that holds 'Life is a shit sandwich - so the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat.'?
I think there's an indictment of laissez-faire capitalism in there, somewhere...
Posted by: Parker | March 5, 2004 01:46 PM
I thought we fascists mainly ate the still-living flesh of the exploited working class, in sauce made from the blood of ethnic minorities.
Darn! I've been doing the wrong thing for years! Now, where'd I put those scissors?
Posted by: Oddly Normal | March 5, 2004 02:11 PM
Tie nooses with one hand!? Now that's an "AMACHER." Nobody gets to cut eyeholes in their tablecloth unless they can tie a noose with their tongue!
Bill needs to do more research.
Posted by: McGehee | March 5, 2004 02:12 PM
"Bill, if you'd like I can come to Colorado and do the shit eating tablecloth dance right in front of you. How are things in CO, anyhow?"
OK Michelle I'll bite. Are you gonna dance on my table? I'm the converse of your rednecks - I acknowledge my superiority to you but I'll still fuck you if you're worthy (like the redneck who won't go to school with the black girl but will do her).
Bring your own iron cross!
ps. Colorado is great - this is where they convicted your McVeigh! But they are going to railroad a successful black man for looking askew at a white tramp (Kobe).
Posted by: Bill | March 5, 2004 02:17 PM
I acknowledge my superiority to you but I'll still fuck you if you're worthy.
Well, Bill. I guy who doesn't leave a valid email address while he's insulting people and making broad statements clearly has no balls.
And I refuse to fuck a guy with no balls.
Sorry, dude. Your loss.
Posted by: michele | March 5, 2004 02:21 PM
hey bill and the fact that kobe might have raped that white girl doesn't mean anything i guess? poor oppressed black people. will they ever get a break from "da man"?
funny how people with the smallest set of balls come off so tough on the net. bark little doggie, bark.
Posted by: hen | March 5, 2004 02:30 PM
Bill - you couldn't be related to Puce - he's funny, you're not. Your dialogue is so Rall-like, you could only be -- Ted, what are you doing in Colorado?
Posted by: mary | March 5, 2004 02:43 PM
Michele,
I was going to say I'd come with you to CO but only with the stipulation that the dance gets done after I hold him down while you kick the dogshit out of him. Then I realized, shit, she doesn't need me to hold him down. So. You can do the dance before or after, and I'll film the shit kicking, OK?
Posted by: Full Auto | March 5, 2004 04:01 PM
All my white sheets have stains in the middle.
Posted by: Kevin Parrott | March 5, 2004 04:58 PM
KP, that sounds like a title for a country song.
Posted by: McGehee | March 5, 2004 08:01 PM
So I just have to come up with an e-mail to get pussy. You conservachicks are even easier than I thought.
Ok, I did my part. So let's go!
Bring your own iron maiden (yes the music as well)!
Posted by: Bill | March 5, 2004 08:19 PM
hey billhole - no to get pussy you wd need a dick and a brain - it's pretty clear you have neither - but behind your monitor you sure do have big balls, but i'm sure face to face they wd shrink to raisins. isn;t that right asshole?
Posted by: hen | March 5, 2004 08:42 PM
"I'm the converse of your rednecks"
So he's a shoe that belongs to shitkickers?
Posted by: Sean M. | March 5, 2004 09:34 PM
Actually, it's the hollow men =&= J. Alfred Prufrock..
"In the room the women come and go, talking of Michelangelo"
and
"This is the way the world ends..."
etc.
Posted by: meep | March 5, 2004 09:53 PM
Bill - The closest you'll ever get to having sex with me is when I tell you to kiss my ass.
Posted by: michele | March 5, 2004 10:08 PM
Up until reading further in this thread, I was 100% certain that Bill was a joke. Why does the real thing look so much like parody? It is a mysteri.
Stop raising the bar, Bill. Please. Those who make a hobby of mocking you can't do any worse than this!
Posted by: Sortelli | March 5, 2004 11:23 PM
Geez, "Bill,"
Don't you feel just the even slightest bit embarrassed by yourself?
I bet your long-suffering parents do.
Posted by: Rob @ L&R | March 6, 2004 07:07 AM
Getting back to the shit-eating angle, does it come in a couple of varieties, one more natural than the other's processed look? I mean, if cranberries can come in tube form....
And "Kerry is the future?" Why, then, can he not seem to get past 1968? The world moved on. Kerry, Hillary, Dean, et. al. did not.
Posted by: Belize042 | March 6, 2004 09:55 AM
Please, have pity on poor "Bill." Life must be so difficult for someone who weighs seven hundred pounds. Imagine being confined to a trailer home for life!
Posted by: Andrea Harris | March 6, 2004 11:38 AM
I can sympathize with Bill. I would be an uncouth lout if I lived in a state where the liquor stores were closed on Sunday. Oh the Humanity!
I wonder if Bill is a member of the Colorado University football team.
Posted by: GUMBY | March 6, 2004 12:38 PM