i might like you better if we slept together
Apparently, the purpose of Leap Day is not, as I thought, to take down your Christmas decorations (obviously, because not one of my neighbors heeded my advice), nor does it have anything to do with the rotation of the earth. A couple of people wrote to tell me that it is actually Sadie Hawkins Day, but they are quite wrong. That day, as anyone who read Lil' Abner back in the day would know, is November 15. However, it seems that some people insist that February 29th is a day for the girls to ask the boys out. Which would make today, March 1st, the day that girls dump the guys they asked out the day before. I was taught that it's not proper for a young woman to either call a young man on the phone or ask him for a date. By young, I mean middle school and high school. Once I turned 18 and started hanging out in seedy clubs doing shots of 151 rum and dancing to really bad pop music, all rules went out the window. Of course, grabbing a random guy by the hair, throwing him against the wall and shoving my tongue in his mouth is not quite the same as asking him out on a date. The way one person explained this thing to me is that you can't ask your existing partner out. It has to be someone else. So, I suppose this is a swinger's holiday? Everybody's getting their own day, it seems. I can see the Hallmark card now - (outside)Happy Swinger's Day! (inside) I'd like to bang your husband! She bang, She bang. She bang my best friend. Stay calm guys. This is only for the girls. We get to ask you out. We get to entice you with promises of wild monkey sex in order to lure you away from wife/girlfriend/skank of the week for just one day. Supersexy Swinging! I think most of you who emailed got it all wrong. I don't recall there every being a holiday for infidelity, not even once every four years. And if there was such a day, seven years would seem more appropriate, no? Well, we can pretend. After all, the day passed already and it's not likely that four years from now you'll remember that I once asked you to swing from the chandelier with me. So to speak. So, in the spirit of some holiday that one of my readers concocted out of thin air because she has a dirty, little gutter mind and is apparently horny, I will do the right thing (albeit a day late) and ask you, my sexy blogger guy that makes my loins ache, for a date. Or one night stand. Or what have you. Ok, here goes -
Damn. Gotta go to work. Now you'll never know because by the time I get to work I'll have come to my senses. Kristal, I really hate you for putting this stuff in my mind. Now I need another shower.