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to make a long story short

Yea, it says Summarize a Novel in 25 Words, but most of the people on the thread did 25 words or less, so majority rules and all that. * A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers: My parents die, I raise my little brother and then get lost in my own narrative. * The Stand by Stephen King: One guy sneeze and civilization falls apart. * Go Ask Alice by Anonymous Reefer Madness for flower children. Dude, that part with the worms freaked me out. * The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton A bunch of juvenile delinquents give each other stupid nicknames and then some of them die. That's all I got for so early on a Sunday morning. via mefi Dig dig dig dig dig dig dig dig. Run.


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James Joyner discusses Aristide leaving Haiti and the death of Daniel Boorstin. Michele Catalano is summarizing novels in 25 words or less and discussing the quality of the school district her new house is located in. Kevin Aylward hosts a... [Read More]


Jude, the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
Everything bad happens to Jude. Then he dies.

The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
Young matadors are very sexy. I lost my manhood in the war. Why live in Americab when you can live in Spain?

Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Coleridge
How do I get rid of this fucking bird?

Oops, that should be "America"

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Four pounds, seven ounces.

Three of my favorite novels:

The monkeys should run the zoo. Let's huck rocks at the warden. Hey, it worked: we're free!

Everyone is crazy and trying to kill me. Chocolate-covered cotton is not edible. Break out the orrs, I'm going to Sweden.

Big Chief philosophy proves women are keeping me down. Twelve inches of paradise for sale. Fortuna turns most strangely.

The Odyssey
Greek guy refuses to ask for directions. Hilarity ensues.

The Iliad
Greek guy is a pissy prima donna. Then his friend dies; now he a bad mofo.

The Great Gatsby
Money buys happiness, assuming happiness is getting blown away in your swim-trunks.

Watership Down
Rabbits leave home. Rabbits find home. Rabbits fuck up General Wormwort's shit but good.

The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Man has lots of sex. This has something to do with the meaning of life.

Animal Farm by George Orwell
Men are pigs.

Here's one I remember from an old issue of National Lampoon:

The Old Testament by God
God creates man, and everything man does makes God angry.

Les Miserables

A guy steals a loaf of bread and never hears the ends of it.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Mice create Earth to discover what "42" means, then everything gets screwed up by Vorgons and telephone sanitizers.

A buddy's:
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
Philosophers build computer that takes 7.5 million years to come up with 42. They vow never to use Microsoft Windows again.

Just couldn't resist...

Hitchhiker's Guide
Be nice to mice, give dolphins lots of fish, and miss the ground.

Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare
Kids fall in love, their families get pissed, so they kill themselves.

Charlotte's Web by E.B. White
Pigs and spiders can be best friends.

These are fun!

Whoops! I somehow managed to not close that italics bracket. Sorry!

Addendum to Charlotte's Web:
Pigs and spiders can be best friends. Unfortunately, pig discovers that the lifespan of spiders is significantly shorter than the lifespan of pigs.

The Sun Also Rises:
Guy gets balls blown off in war; goes fishing.

The Lord of the Rings:

Good vs. Evil. Good wins.

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