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reasons

This should tell you how things have worked out since I announced the break up of my marriage last week. That is to say, they've worked out good, thanks in no small part to a lot of encouragement, love and experienced advice on your part. I wrote this one month before our wedding in 2002 and I still mean every word.
Now that I'm trying to write not-so-hokey wedding vows, or at least compose something light and airy yet full of hokiness that I can read at our wedding, this would be a perfect opportunity to declare my love for Justin, and why I love him so. It's not just about the compatibility and our shared obessions with comic books and action figures and spending all of our money on DVDs. It's not just about the sex and our willingness to indulge each other's fantasies. It's not just about that lustful attraction that is still as strong as ever. I love him because of all those things, but not limited to those things. I love him because, after more than three years, I still get butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me. Because he knows how to say he's sorry. Because he very rarely has anything to be sorry for. Because he doesn't care that sometimes I am a complete slob when it comes to housekeeping. Because he does most of the cleaning. Because he loves to cook. Because we giggle when we watch cartoons together. Because he never makes fun of me when I watch Lifetime movies. Because he makes fun of me when I listen to cheesy 80's new wave, but in a good-spirited kind of way. Because he listens to Sade and doesn't care who knows. Because he cried when Natalie said Happy Father's Day to him. Because he spends hours playing baseball and soccer with DJ, even though he hates playing both those things. Because he never secretly lets DJ win at video games. Because he shares his beloved colored pencils with Natalie. Because he taught me how to enjoy a foot massage. Because when I have to run out the door five minutes after I get home from work and I don't get back in until 9pm, there is a hot dinner and fresh pot of coffee waiting for me. Because when he crawls into bed an hour after me, he will wake me up just to tell me he loves me and ask me if I have enough pillows, enough blankets, enough love. Because he knows that loving me is loving my flaws, too. Because he never tries to hide his own flaws or make excuses for them. Because he never makes me feel lazy when I want to spend Saturday afternoon on the couch, taking turns sleeping and eating nachos. Because he stuck it out through some very harsh emotional times with me. Because his smile lights up a room and his laugh is contagious. Because he loves me with a love that is so fierce and so strong it makes me cry when I think about it. Because he is really good in bed. And on the floor. And in the car. Because he recognizes my moods instantly and knows how to ply me with oatmeal raisin cookies or a kiss on the back of my neck. Because he always recognizes my need for space and no longer pouts when I ask for it. Most of all because he has made me love who I am.
We're going to be ok, thanks for asking.

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Comments

Yay! That's very very good to hear, Michele. I'm very happy for you.

You don't know how happy it makes me to hear that.

Woo-hoo!

Nice. With the exception of Sade, everyone should be able to say that stuff. You guys have a good thing going.

I'm so very happy for you. I've been thinking of you and hoping that everything was okay. Love you, babe.

Very glad to hear/read it. Best of luck to you both!

I think it's all so sad...I don't know the whole story but it makes me sad that a marriage born out of a love like that didn't last. You both have my sympathies and best wishes.

Bluesman

I'm so happy for you, Michele! Nice to end the week on some good news. All the best to you and your husband.

Good for you both! How did you meet?

Oh Michele, great news. I remember when you posted that original thing about him and it brought tears to my eyes. Espeically the part about Happy Father's Day

Thanks so much for your generosity in sharing this with all of us.

Yay!! Overjoyed to hear it, Michele, and here's hoping that the experience will bring you closer together than ever. Love may not always conquer all, but it does conquer a heckuva lot.

Michele,

I'm really happy for you. I hope and pray that this makes your marriage even stronger. Best wishes!

Congratulations, Michele. I'm so glad to hear it.

Best news I've heard all week. That's great!

This is just bizaare.... a person I barely know goes through the emotional washing machine and comes out clean...and I couldn't be happier!

Great week this week, several friends got new jobs or accepted for PhD programs and now this. Couple that with a booming biz week and I for one will be celebrating this evening!

Glad to hear it, sweetie! You've been in my prayers. I think I'll keep you there for a little while longer. It couldn't hurt.

I remember reading that on your anniversary (I believe that was it) admiring the depth of feeling you wrote about for each other and your family. That's why it was so disturbing to see your short statement last week.

The fact that you put these beautiful words up again says that you both know that there's too much good to be broken apart. My wish is that they will continue to inspire and comfort you as they have me and my family. We're very happy things are working out. We knew you'd do it!

WG

I'm really glad you guys were able to work it out.

So, are ya gonna buy us all a beer tonight to celebrate???

Love conquers! Pie for everyone!

It wouldn't hurt for everyone to make similar lists about their partners (yes, I can hear the eye-rolling from those non-demonstrative/expressive types among us out there...), just to serve as a reminder when those rough spots show up in the road -and they will, eventually...and not always at the same time for each person.

It's all too easy to come up with reasons to hold onto anger towards another; when emotions run high and feelings are raw and exposed, the negative side of the pendulum tends to carry all the weight. Having all those wonderful reminders of what brought you to each other definitely helps to balance out the equation.

I'm glad you've gotten your own stretch of road patched up - and thank you for allowing others to learn from your experiences.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Or drink more. Personally, I'm a weak drunk. But seriously, good luck.

That's great news, Michele. I'll have a martini in your honor this evening. :-)

Awesome, and congratulations to you and Justin! Best news I've heard all day.

Now make him buy you some comics or something ;-)

Congratulations.
It's always good to hear when someone has found a good love.

It's hard to find that special person you can be in love with when things are good and still love and respect when things are not.

cheers.

Great to hear it :)

My wife and I have been married almost 16 years now. Nobody told us it took that much work in the beginning, I can tell you :)

Ditto for kids!

Mom tried to warn me by saying "I hope you have a son JUST LIKE YOU someday!" I must not have been paying attention, though. I have a son just like me, and mom now gets to babysit him. Bet she's sorry for that curse now!

Anyway, grats on doing the hard work instead of taking the (often) easier way out. It's worth it in the end!

D

Oh, major yay!!!!

Justin, you rock!

I remember reading that when you posted it last year. It made me cry, but I was giggling the whole time, which, if you haven't tried it, is pretty damned tough.

I'm glad to hear that you're gonna be okay.

That's nice and all, but am I the only one who was secretly looking forward to Michele being back on the open market?