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what song is it you want to hear?*

Sorry about that bomb I dropped on you last night. I thought I'd just sneak it in there, between bad tv and good tv and it would just blip on your radar screen only to be wiped away by Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. So why put it in there at all? Because this is my journal of sorts. It's not a journal in the classic sense of the word; I mean, who writes about George Lucas in their diary? Dear Diary, Today I hated George Lucas some more. He breaks my heart. Woe is me and the earth upon which JarJar Binks walks. Doesn't really work, unless you're a stormtrooper. In which case, it's hard to write with all that plastic you're wearing. Anyhow. It would be dishonest of me to continue writing about this, that and the other thing without ever mentioning my current marital situation. I tend to mix the personal with the impersonal, and surely it would become apparent at some point that something is going on in my life to which you are not privy and the posting of morose song lyrics and diary-like entries would just leave you, my friends, all confused and bewildered. It's like this: The Big D is not involved here. We're not seeing lawyers or signing papers or severing the ties that bind. We're almost breaking up in the sense that high school sweethearts do; let's be apart for a while. Let's breathe and regroup and maybe we can come back to it and it will be different. It's that whole butterfly poster come to life. There's a lot going on that would just be long-winded and boring for you to read. Suffice it to say that if problems go unsolved from the very start, they will rear their butt ugly heads later on and bite you in the ass with some very sharp teeth. And that's what happened. We've been bit in the ass by things left unsaid, words hanging in the air, fights unresolved and conversations cut off. All those things make for a very tumultuous, volatile relationship. And when you combine those things with the fact that you have two passive-aggressive people trying to be both passive and aggressive with each other, you get a nice sized mushroom cloud eventually. Love is an interesting thing. When it's done right, it's both wonderful and excruciating. You would walk on hot coals for the person you love. You would sleep on a bed of nails, drink a gallon of vinegar, walk around with a wedgie all day and listen to hours of Celine Dion songs if it would somehow save your relationship. In the current case at hand, we forego the bed of nails and Titanic theme for another form of torture; time apart. One goes one way, one goes the other and if in that time apart maturity, medication and miracles occur, our hearts will go on. The issues themselves are too deep and too personal to detail here. Plus, I would have to admit to making several mistakes and I'd rather not do that publicly. Mistakes of the heart are better left expressed on crumbled pieces of paper stuffed in the bottom of your underwear drawer. I'm fine, thanks for asking. I know "the best thing" when I see it. Been there, done that, bought the lawyer and divorce papers. Maybe the ending will be different this time, maybe it won't. All I know is we're still in love and love sometimes means hanging posters of cliches in your bedroom. As corny as it may sound, that saying about setting things free is right - and a butterfly is the perfect example. I can either set him free and let him fly merrily away, hoping he comes back. Or I can swat him with a magazine, knock him cold and pin him to the wall with the rest of my collection. Anyone care for a rousing round of Freebird?
*That's from the live version of Freebird. I can't believe I remember that.

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Comments

Relax, Michelle. You'll still have us when you're done.

I just LOVE what you've done with the place. It looks so deliciously...Freudian and evil.... I had a dream last night that looked a LOT like this. ;0)

BTW...my thoughts are with you. Been there, done that, don't care to revisit it. I hope that the resolution of this is what will make you the happiest. Rotsa ruck.... ;0)

Was the Guy from your Match entry last week wasnt it?

Damn. Good luck, Michele. I hope it all works out for the best (it usually does - life's funny like that).

See what happens when you devote yourself to those damned Yankees? Once you do that, it's all downhill.

Love you.

I'm sorry to hear this Michele. I'd send you one of those {{{hug}}} things but I think those are so lame.

Well shit, there goes my thunder.

man, I'm sorry. That sucks.

I hope it works out in the end.

not to be Miss Pollyanna, but maybe the time apart will bring the two of you back together?

Damn... puts my Monday morning commute in perspective.

Just keep breathing, everything else will take care of itself. I would wager that things will be different from your first marriage; it sounds like you'd walk over coals for this one.

I don't want the full story of your peccadillos with four-part harmony and full orchestration, but if you need to tell us something, we are here. I know that some people will make judgements, but I bet that most won't. And if your post gets too boring, I will skip to the next.

Breathe.

This sucks. Good luck. I just cranked some "Freebird" in your honor.

All I know is we're still in love...

Love may not conquer all, but it sure can keep it on high defense alert. Hang in there.

Sending my best wishes for the best possible outcome for the both of you. I know it must have been extremely difficult to come to this decision. Sometimes a little distance is the right thing to sharpen the focus and give you a clear vision of what it is you need to do.

Damn, girl, this sucks.

We're here for you. I hope it works out well.

Elizabeth
Imperial Keeper

Buena suerte Michele. I hope all works out for the best for you and yours.

I couldn't imagine that you would post those lyrics unless something was up.

You're doing the right thing, not making any drastic decisons. You're under a lot of stress and I'm sure you'll realize how much you mean to each other, with some time apart. If I can do anything at all (I can't think what right now), don't hesitate to let me know. xo.

Good luck, and be well.

Hang in there, Michele - whichever way things work out, I know you are strong enough to handle it and come away a better person. Good Luck!

Um, about this love thing. . . we wouldn't have to drink a gallon of vinegar WHILE listening to hours of Celine Dion songs, would we? I mean, that just seems like too much to ask, really.

Michele -

You and your family are in my thoughts. You're a courageous woman for sharing this with all of us ...

Hang in there.

Damn. You're in my thoughts.

I hope things work out okay, whatever for you and your life that might mean.

Myria

The site looks great; I love it...!

I hope your situation resolves itself. It's crappy. It sucks. But you're dealing with it, and we're all pulling for you. Hang in there!

Be strong. "Call" us if & when you need to. Hug the kids. And stay true.

Michele -

My thoughts are with you. I hope that everything works out for the best.

I've been married now for going on 7 years. My wife is 7 years older than me. When we got married she was 34 and I was 27. I've thought quite a bit about why it is that some relationships work and some don't, despite what may be the most intense of emotions. What I've concluded is that it comes down to age, maturity, and priorities.

The best relationships are built on communication and compromise, and plenty of each from both parties. I'm sure part of the "break" you are taking involves assessing priorties. Whatever issues you may be having, the question is, are they worth pushing through and solving so that you can continue together, or is something else in your lives more important ?

I know you probably aren't in need of "advice" from a near anonymous person on the internet, but if you need an objective view to bounce things off of, I would be more than happy to listen (read).

Try and stay positive and upbeat as much as possible.

My thoughts are with you and your family, Michele.

Wow. I'm sorry, Michele.

Good luck, whatever the future brings for the two of you.

Michele,

It seems from your post that you have a good head on your shoulders, despite the pain and obvious discomfort.

Good luck; my thoughts are with you and your husband.

I'm thinking of you. I truly hope that you guys work everything out in a way that you can both live with.

What they said and more, honey.

I'm sending you love and support from the deep south.

Love,
D

Aw hell. Is there something in the water? Cosmic mis-alignment or something?

Damn.

So sorry to hear this Michele.

Hi Michelle,

Long time reader, first time (I think) poster. My very best. You seem like a neat lady and I have already forgiven you for being a Yankee fan (Boston native, now your neighbor here).

Good Luck Michele.
I really thought I had seen the last of that poster and thought 30 years ago.
I guess there must be some truth in it if it is still around.

Michele,

Hang in there girl. I'm sorry you are going through this.

You're a smart, insightful woman, you'll make the best choices for you and your family, whatever it may be.

Michele, I hope things work out for you. I'll be thinking about you and your family.

I can't add any poils of wisdom that everyone before me hasn't already said -- but I can tell you I'm sending you my support. You're my hero and as crazy as it sounds, I only want the best for you.

Remember to be nice to yourself. So often, in the shuffle we can forget that.

Take care.

Love,
M

Stay strong, Michele, I pray things work out for the best.

It's been said lots already. I'm saying it again.

I feel bad for you, and hope it all works out. Good luck, and all our Love.