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on special request: Electioneering, v.2

[In light of all the political mud slinging and name calling of late, I present a repeat, by request of Stephen. Slightly modified and updated. Original (from 10/3/03)here.] Everyone stop. Nobody write another word on Kerry and his touchy-feely hands. Nobody write another paragraph on Vietnam or the National Guard or muddy politics or dirty laundry. I don't want to hear anything else about who said what thirty years ago or who banged who last week. I don't want to read another magazine article with pictures that are so old they were chiseled in stone, showing one candidate or another wearing a beret of the wrong color or saluting in such a manner that deams him a socialist or hanging out with the wrong person. Let's settle this right here. They are all pigs. Every last one of them. Why compare Kerry and Bush? Why give gossipers the time of day? Why bother digging up dirt on anyone when someone is going to turn around and dig up darker and chunkier dirt in the next minute? Everyone is a pig. Everyone is a philanderer. Everyone is a dirty, disgusting, lying, cheating, conniving, scheming, backstabbing, drunk driving, epitaph uttering, Hitler loving, porn watching, inhaling, draft dodging, body burying freak. There. You're all on the same page now. We get it. We see the skeletons tumbling out of the closets. We have seen your dirty laundry hanging on the line. We know. Everyone has the bones and soiled underwear. Everyone. And one person's dirty boxers is another's buried hooker. Republicans, Democrats, Greens, Moonies, Commies, whatever you are, put down your pens and pencils and microphones and secret spy cameras. Put down the microfiche copies of thirty year old pay stubs. And you, all of you election followers, all of you future and past voters and all of you media watchers. Why? Why do you care? What does it matter? When are you going to start asking the important questions instead of asking for bedroom secrets and compromising photographs? Somebody please tell me what all these blathering, screaming children stand for. I know who they are against. I know who they hate and who they deride and I know exactly what their opponents have done in the past to make their current reputations suspect. But I don't know one god damned thing you people stand for. I don't know what you want to do about education and taxes and crime and frankly, I don't care if you stuck a dildo up Hitler's ass in a past life or if your cleaning lady services you every weekend or if you were once a member of the Crips or Bloods. Just tell me about now. And don't tell me bout your opponent. Tell me about you. What are you going to do for me besides frustrate and bore me with bawdy tales of your enemy's back office schemes? What are you going to do about homeland security besides bitch about it? What are you going to do about the Mid East besides complain about what's not being done? You're on my time here, folks. Unless you are going to say something about your platform, just shut up and stop playing Encyclopedia Brown with your opponent's background. Otherwise I'm going to stick my fingers in my ears and shout LALALALA I can't hear you until I find a candidate -f rom any party - who is willing to say something of substance. Election Day can't come and go soon enough.


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Well, I would write something about it, but the last time I did, the entry and my comment vanished.

That reminds me of why I cringed when I listed to Lieberman during the debates. I agreed with the guy on the most important issues, but why the F**K did he think I wanted to hear him whine on and on about Dean's stupid office records?

He didn't even attack policy positions, he attacked on technical crap that only a lawyer in a courtroom would care about. That sort of attitude has got to be why he never got an inch off the ground.

Yeah tell us stuff we care about.

It all started when the Dems complained about a black man talking about a pubic hair.

get your own name

Good for you. Great post, well written and I agree. I just found you today and I am glad I did. :-)

amen, sister. is it too late for you to run?

A candidate's past matters exactly because it tells you something real about them. What do they stand for? Who cares, they can say they stand for anything and that means exactly nothing the minute they win the elections. Actions are what counts, I'm much more interested in what a candidate has done then what kind of meaningless position papers they can dump out their rectal orifice.

They are not all pigs, philanderers, liars, and cheats. That's a cop-out, believe it or not there are decent and honest human beings in this world and a few of them -- if depressingly few -- are in Washington, DC. If a candidate or office holder is a pig, philanderer, liar, or cheat I want to know it because someone who is any or all of the above should not be in public office and most certainly should not be holding the highest office in the land.


personally, I could care less about philandering. Murderer, junkie, pedophile...sure but philanderer, big deal. What are we afraid of, he's going to get elected and start flirting with Canada?

honestly, I'd rest easier knowing that the man with his finger on the button is getting his turtle waxed regularly. According to my high school boyfriend, sexual frustration is fatal in men.

I do think character counts. But it's also way too easy of a target. And discussions of character too easily degenerate into name-calling and mud-slinging, thus eliminating any meaningful discussion of issues, positions, and plans.

Personally, I think this is a parting shot by the former Kerry communications directory Chris Lehane who landed on Clark campaign.

Like before, as fast and exhilerating as running and winning a 220. Thanks!

Aside to Myria,

Point taken (here anyway). But, imo, only as far as determining whether or not that person is able to carry out the plans and programs they run on, plus the standing responsibilities of the office. To maintain a healthy republic, said proposals must dominate the issues presented to the electorate.

Naive? Mebbe--but that does not change the necessity.

You leave my underwear and that buried hooker out of this...........

Richard T

Don't give me any crap punk! I got my name in 1929.

Amen, Michele!

Even IF there is someone out there who isn't a total pig, the media will find a way to make him or her look so. It's the whole lowest-common-denominator-audience-bottom-feeding mentality.

This morning, I snarled at the talking heads on my tv set: "OK, why not just say NO ONE is qualified to be President because of crap they did in the past and be done with it?!?!"

I'm going to really hate this fall, I can already feel it.

Well said.

It's all getting bad enough on the news here in the UK, so it must be at least 100 times worse over there.

The only time it's ever worth digging up dirt on a politician is if they're playing the holier than thou family values card, but anyone who's actually naive enough to believe them when they're spouting that rubbish probably deserves to be suckered into wasting their vote on a hypocrite anyway.

We know they're all lying (although you're not allowed to say so publically), cheating, manipulative control freaks. Heck, that's how they ended up succeeding in politics in the first place. Without an honest open debate of the key issues that the election will actually be decided on, however, all the media coverage is pointless.

"honestly, I'd rest easier knowing that the man with his finger on the button is getting his turtle waxed regularly. According to my high school boyfriend, sexual frustration is fatal in men."

I presume this writer would be as generous towards her own husband, if he were to announce that he needed a little on the side.

Last time I checked, both Clinton and Kerry had wives.

I too, think that the "they're all pigs" is a cop-out, and an unthinking and juvenile insult towards those who are not. Nothing like lowering the bar to ensure you get the government you deserve.

Personal integrity and fidelity is a core part of character. I don't want to think that anyone who has a "finger on the button" has so little self-control that he cannot turn away from something as simple and obvious as temptation from a woman a fraction of his age, in his workplace, who occupies a station much lower than he.

One thing I do agree with - it's not about sex.

It's about impulse control and the ability to see far ahead enough to weigh consequences. If he cannot control his own base instincts for self-gratification, when he has to know how high the stakes are, I dont' want him anywhere near a button. Not on the nuclear arsenal, not on my blouse.

...Kate, JK deserves to lose his wife...not his job. He hasn't committed a crime....at least not until this 'sanctity of marriage' legislation tries to make this sort of thing a hanging offense.

Kate, I think your attitude is REALLY presumptuous.

If you were Kerry's wife's best friend and knew all about their relationship then you'd have every right to judge, but as a stranger? What do you really know?

No on is charging him with a crime.

But, Sen. Kerry is not a private citizen. He is applying for the job of most powerful man on the face of the planet. He is asking people to vote for him. It's not presumptious to consider evidence that relates to impulse control and his ability to weigh risk benefit ratios and consider possible consequences - it's prudent.

One only need look back to the disaster that befell the WH under Clinton. His lack of impulse control set into motion a chain of events that crippled his ability to govern.

And also, to the previous poster, there are many many companies where such conduct would result in job termination.