You know that book Love You Forever
? Thatís the one with the mom who has such an unhealthy attachment to her son that she practically stalks him after he leaves home, going as far as sneaking into the sonís bedroom
in house across town to rock him.
I always found this book a bit on the creepy side. But I'm rethinking that now. The mother in that book had a great idea, she just didn't execute it properly. Of course, I have a plan.
I'm going to wait until both my kids are off on their own. Then I am going to embark upon a psyops mission of revenge.
See, this is what the mother in the book does:
He left home and got a house across town. But sometimes on dark nights the mother got into her car and drove across town. If all the lights in her son's house were out, she opened his bedroom window, crawled across the floor, and looked up over the side of his bed. If that great big man was really asleep she picked him up and rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.
I'm going to get into my care on dark nights and drive across town as well. And if all the lights are out, I'm going to open a window, or pick a lock or do whatever I have to do to get in the house.
First, my son's house. I will reach into my bag of ammunition and pull out the Legos and small action figures. I will spread them across his bedroom floor so that when he gets up, he will step on them, causing much pain. That's for all the Legos I
stepped on, buddy boy.
Then I will get myself a glass of orange juice. I'll spill a few drops of juice on the kitchen floor, just enough to make it sticky. Then I'll attempt to wipe it up with one of his clean socks.
I'll go in his bathroom and leave a wet towel on the floor. I"ll finish off his toilet paper and not replace it.
Then, for the coup de gr‚ce, I will wait until 6am (this will be a Saturday morning) and I will plug in his electric guitar and start playing some four chord song over and over and over again. I'll sneak out the window before he can see me. Oh, he'll figure it out. And he'll know. And he will spend each night wondering if I will be back for more revenge.
My revenge on the daughter will be much simpler. I am going to make a deal with Satan to ensure that my she ends up with a daughter exactly like her.
Then I will drive across town every evening and sit in her living room and laugh and laugh and laugh at the exruciating mental torture her teenage daughter is putting her through.
Hey, it works for my