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creepy valentines, vol. 2

Thanks to my partner in crime Carol, I have come across a treasure trove of freaky valentines. Talk about a deranged vision of love.
Clicky clicky for bigger picky! They are all desperately in need of captions. The sicker, the better, I always say.

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Comments

For that last one, may I suggest, "Put on your tophat and your strap-on, it's Valentines Day!"

I think the gal on #3 is on the right track, but off to a premature start.

For the first one:

I've stolen your heart. I will return for the genitalia later.

#3 - Girls who flash some skin always get extra valentines.

It's hard to picture my crusty old grandparents giving each other these cards. They probably also wore sunglasses and vampire capes to freak out the grown-ups at the farmer's market.

The girl in val8 looks like she's got a man under he dress, baby, yeah. And val9 is the weirdest of the bunch. He's not wearing any pants, but it also looks like he's got some sort of metal covering on his wing-wang.

Valentine #4 (right hand side top row):

"Be mine or I'll pluck out your eyes!"

or

"Nothin' says lovin' like a deranged stalker comin' in the window"

ok, in order, top row first:

"You get a dime for a tooth. But heeeey, a major internal organ.."

"The Barbecue Bitch"

"that's all you get for a quarter"

"it don't matter! it's jest gonna be yew an me"!

"...operators are standing by to take your order.."

"sure I'm pretty. AND I do windows"

"puttin on the Ritzzzzzz"!