Can I get a HELL YEAH? A fellow New Yorker, Ronnie James Dio is my choice for President of the United States. He is the only one who can take us into the next four years with confidence and righteousness. He has worked in several cabinets, doing time with Ritchie Blackmore and Ozzy Osbourne before striking out on his own to win the hearts and minds of American voters.
Dio on Homeland Security:
So, fortune shine your light on me and my clothes Cause we need some security. What he means is that he doesn't want to have to wear radioactive suits, so he is going to be big on securing the U.S. against terror attacks.
Dio on Crime:
Cry out to legions of the brave, time again to save us from the jackals of the street. RJD would send the National Guard out wipe out street crime. Every day, in every state.
Dio on the War on Terror:
Ride the tiger/You can see his stripes but you know he's clean/Oh don't you see what I mean/Gotta get away/Holy Diver. Basically, you go all religious jihad on us, we'll go vendetta jihad on
your ass.
Dio on legalizing marijuana:
And now you can fly/So take your magic carpet ride. Enough said.
Dio on Gay Rights:
I was feelin' rather good/Should've touched some wood. Yea, he's on your side, guys.
As it says on
Dio's election blog:
In fantasy tales, peasants had to worry about dragons coming to take their children away, hoping that their feudal lords would protect them from the marauding dragons with their strength or magic. But those times are long gone, and today's leaders have lost all their magic. Fortunately, the only thing that regular people need to protect themselves today is the vote — and you've got it!
His name is Dio and he dances on the sand. Ronnie James Dio.
Get out the vote.
Comments
Holy Diver is one of the best songs EVER.
Posted by: joatmoaf | January 27, 2004 03:09 PM
oh Dio, Dio, hear him shout across the land
from mountains in the north down to the Rio Grande.
Posted by: mikey | January 27, 2004 03:19 PM
Will he appoint April Wine to the Cabinet?
Posted by: Keith | January 27, 2004 03:27 PM
Works for me.
Posted by: Thlayli | January 27, 2004 04:28 PM
So he'll protect us from Trogdor the Burninator!
Posted by: Michael D | January 27, 2004 05:11 PM
ooh, we'll know for the first time if we're evil or divine
Posted by: pril | January 27, 2004 05:20 PM
If he can protect us from such disparate aural threats as Coldplay, Clay Aiken, Nickelback and Hilary Duff, the man has my vote.
Posted by: MikeR | January 27, 2004 05:33 PM
"You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you, we're takin' you to
a homethe White House..."Posted by: Jim Treacher | January 27, 2004 07:46 PM
I can't think of Dio or "Holy Diver" nowadays without being reminded of the South Park episode where he performs his hit song at the kids' school dance. Not exactly Presidential material.
Posted by: CT | January 27, 2004 09:31 PM
I'm so very, very down with this. What would Kerry or Bush do if a legion of undead Dwarves ever threatened America? I don't know. But I know Dio would be the man to handle the job.
Posted by: Jason | January 28, 2004 01:28 AM
Would he nominate Ted Nugent for Secretary of the Interior? I'd so vote for him in that case.
Posted by: Michael D | January 28, 2004 03:19 AM
ahem - don't want to brag or nothing but i went to High School with his kid. Ronnie James real name is not Dio (obviously), but Padavana. Nice guy too. His kid is into punk tho, hates metal.
Posted by: hen | January 28, 2004 08:19 AM
Yeah da Nuge as Secretary of the Interior would rock. Dio's first 3 albums (esp the first two) were bloody good metal. Its too bad he sort of lost the plot after that (Angry Machines ick), however his latest studio album was rather decent.
At least you know if President Dio met the Japanese PM he would not tower over him.
Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge | January 28, 2004 09:43 AM
Hmm, Treacher has a good point: Vote The D for President!
Posted by: Jon | January 28, 2004 09:54 AM