« test of the textile system | Main | how to annoy alan in one easy lesson »

Dowd translator needed

I don't know how people like Stephen Green and Iohawk can take on Maureen Dowd week after week. I got as far as the first sentence today and my brain went into shutdown mode: Howard Dean's bark was missing its bite. And his socks were missing their warp. Not to mention their woof. Five bucks to the first person who can translate that into a meaningful sentence.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Dowd translator needed:

» Dump Dowd from The American Mind
Here's the first sentence from Maureen Dowd's column today: Howard Dean's bark was missing its bite. And his socks were [Read More]


How she got her first writing job is beyond my imagination.

I'm sure this isn't worth five bucks, but according to the dictionary warp and woof refers to "the underlying structure on which something is built; a base or foundation". Maybe she's trying to use a colorful but obscure reference to his campaign's foundation being gone.

Like I said - not worth five bucks! :-)

i think warp and woof are sewing terms? who knows. the fact that she washes down a handful of vicadin with bourbon for lunch every day it's a wonder she remembers to button her blouse and wear her panty hose under her clothes.


"I am an idiot who would starve to death trying to earn a living were it not for the charity of the New York Times."

Just a guess....

Bark and woof are obviously canine-related terms, and they tie in with her discussion of his socks. Socks, of course, are worn on feet, which are colloquially referred to as "dogs"...

Sorry, I can't keep that running. It hurts my brain to even pretend to make sense of Dowd.

Maybe its got something to do with the fact that Howard can wear the same clothes for long periods of time. If he goes days without washing his socks I'm sure the stench would take away his will to fight.

Cathy Seipp is another good Dowdwatcher, although she's only required to do it once a month:


How in God's name did this woman win a Pulitzer Prize?

According to some guy commenting on Tim Blair's blog, "the warp refers to the threads that run the length of the loom; the weft, sometimes called the 'woof,' refers to the threads that run across the warp." I think Dowd was aiming for a clever reference to the "woof" of a sock after mentioning Clark's "bite", but she missed clever and hit unintelligible.

Warp and Woof of the Norns in Norse mythology.
They sew the fabric of peoples lives into the giant and continuing tapestry of human history.
If they were to cut a persons thread, that person would die. When you`re born your thread is added to the tapestry. When you die, your thread ends. Greek Mythology has the original version but I cant remember the name.

"Howard Dean lost his mojo".

Here`s something that you might find interesting about M. Dowd. It`s a story she wrote in `97 about WMDs of all things CLICK HERE or click my name for a full page.
And this CLICK HERE is a link on the double standards of the liberal left.

Dean don't do it for me no mo.

I should have said that Warp and Woof refers to the threads in the TAPESTRY, not the ones sewing it. The warp and woof of a persons individual thread in the tapestry indicates the fate of that person.

It just means she can't spell 'weft.'

Maybe she was referring to the Klingons Warp and Woof, Worf's long lost brothers.

Just think, I have to do this at least once a week.

Who needs Maureen Dowd? Just click my name and make up your own Bush Conspiracy. It`s as easy as 1,2,3.

Explaining warp and woof is fine, but explain why she thinks socks are woven!

Click my name to read how EEEEvil Bush is.

OH!!! And leave a comment too, so I can feel important and loved. :)

"Howie was wack and wearin' funny socks."

I heard MD during a washington press club dinner last month, and she has a voice that is worse than fran drescher's. I have no idea how she ascended to the editorial page of the Times. well, I have some ideas, but none of them I want to have in my mind.

Warp and woof are weaving terms. Don't know what that's got to do with Dean's campaign, though?

A Weapon of Maureen Dowd?

Maybe she means that Dean is barking mad?

I think Dowd lost it a long time ago now, but it's perfectly clear to me what she was going for there, even though I agree it's, at best, too clever by half.

"Howard Dean's bark was missing its bite." He wasn't howling with enthusiasm now, but was dialed down to a "one" on the Calm-o-meter.

"And his socks were missing their warp." His typically sloppy, cheap, ensemble made him look bedraggled, a metaphor for his comparative lack of super-enthusiasm.

"Not to mention their woof." They really, really, were falling down, and I'm going to work that metaphor like a sledgehammer, repeating it, and this makes for an oh-so-clever doggie pun on the "bite" in my first sentence. Amn't I so clever? I'm Maureen Dowd! I am!

Does that work for you?

Well, I knew the bark/bite thing. But the socks...doesn't work for me.

Knit 1, purl 2?

I think she's gotten into the magic kool-aid. and the times has no respectable standards.

That's a start.

Dean really is well-known among campaign journalists and others for wearing really cheap suits and having his socks falling down. It's just a factual reference. And I'm not defending Dowd's piece as "working." The last time I thought a piece of her's "worked" (made a semi-original point in a way worth making) was sometime during the mid-Clinton era. The last decade she's been, to put it charitably, coasting on early rep and terminal muddle-headed cutsiness.

The best she might be able to do on her best days in recent times is turn a nice phrase, in use of an air-headed completely-obvious, and probably wrong, point.

No defense of her here; just an explanation that the sentences, however basically pointless, did have intended meaning.

Oh, and posted some vid-game news you might be interested in.

Gary, even if it was a criticism of his socks falling down, the mixed metaphor sucked. That's lousy writing. Socks aren't woven, they're knitted.