Picking My Presidential Prom Date the Modern Way
According to Presidentmatch.com, my dream date for 2004 is Joe Lieberman.
As you probably know, I'm going to dump my dream date for the runner-up in this match game, George Bush. While George may have finished in second, the categories in which we matched were more important to me than the categories in which I matched Joe.
Sure, George may have some qualities that I wasn't looking for in a date. We disagree on many things. But the things we do agree on are the things that are most important to me.
I do have quite a few things in common with Joe, but I think he'd be a dull date. I can imagine that if we were accosted in a dark alley by a couple of thugs, Joe would head for the hills and leave me there, at the mercy of some brutal men. Georg, on the other hand, would probably kick ass and take names.
So that's what it comes down to. I want to date a guy who will protect me, keep me safe, offer realistic solutions for keeping the thugs away from us. I want a guy who will offer retaliation and revenge if I call him and tell him I was mugged or robbed.
Sure, we'll probably argue about things like family life and personal privacy, but as long as his arm is around me all the time, I'll live with the differences. I have to look at what's right for me in the long run, and George is it. Joe would bore me fast and all those things that seemed so virtuous and right about him in the beginning would eventually lose their impact when I have to keep explaining to my friends and family why my guy is such a coward when it comes to dark alleys and thugs.
There were other runners-up as well, but most of them appeared to be either the kind of guy you eventually get an order of protection against or earnest folk singers.
Guess I'll be taking George to the metropolitical prom come September. Sorry Joe, Howard, everyone else. You made a valiant effort, but you just can't dance like the big guy.
Plus, I really like ribs.