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one more update

It's not who what you know, it's who you know. Always remember that.

The principal just called me. He apologized for the way the meeting went this morning. He assured me that come Monday, everything would be taken care of and the situation would be resolved completely.

I told him that I was also concerned about S., that I couldn't imagine where he would go from here, what the rest of his life would be like if he didn't get the help and support he needed. I was told that was being taken care of also and as of Monday that situation would also change.

I think he was sincere and honest during this conversation. He even apologized for the way he spoke to me. I'm going to trust him. You know why? Because my father told me to trust him (that falls under the "who you know" part of this). I may be 41 years old, but I still listen to my father, because he knows everything. And everyone.

Cross your fingers for a happy ending. For DJ and for S.


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Thats good it all worked out. I looked at the Menu at the schools site...now I'm hungry:

Pizza Pie

Garden Salad w/Fresh Spinach

Choice of Dressing

Fresh Apple


Count me in :)

Let's just hope that his idea of what "taken care of" means is anything remotely useful.

I don't buy it. There's nothing in the history to indicate this principal will do anything in your favor. Expect your child to be expelled.

Then, sue everyone you can think of until you own that school and the bully's parents are your indentured servants.

But then, I'm an optimist.

Well, I hope that it really is a happy ending all around. From my own experience--about 15 years ago, as a 7th-grader who was being bullied--a happy resolution for the bullee (is that a word?) is actually possible. I don't know if it's possible for the bully, because I never saw him again.

[I may write up a post about my own experience during my lunch hour today, but I have a feeling it's not terribly applicable because of the age differences and the longer history between DJ and S.]

Sounds like you finally hit on the right person for the job. Great news, and I agree; both DJ and S need a happy ending. :)

I came late to the discussion--but here's one suggestion that worked for me from elementary school to senior high--and even now that I have kids of my own--send the daddy to school.

I know there are times you don't do well with your ex, but if there was ever a time he needs to step up, this is it. It works well because it creates a brand-new situation. Momma's always the one who calls the school for dr.'s appointments, questions for the teacher, and to pick up work for a sick kid. But when Daddy comes to school, it's a whole new ballgame. Daddies don't take off work and come to school for every little thing. And let's face it, men are more convincing in the "you-WILL-do-something- about-this" mode of expression than us ladies.

All my dad had to do was show up and let people know what he thought of the situation, and action got taken. And when my own daughter was being repeatedly harrassed by a little boy on the playground, reported it several times, and told me she wasn't going to clean his clock, I told her to get up in his face and scream "Do yuo want my daddy to have to come up in here?" And it wasn't for the boy's benefit--it was for the teachers' AFter she did this, the mother was called to take the boy home, and he hasn't bothered her EVER again. FWIW.

In the words of GWB

"Trust, but verify"

Ask DJ on Monday after school what happened, and if he sees nothing different then maybe you need to call on Tuesday and calmly ask how it was resolved, because from your son's point of view, nothing hs changed.

Hopefully they will straighten it out for you and your son, but checking up after the fact never hurts.

Best wishes to DJ and S. I feel cautiously optimistic. Call it a hunch.

There was a local bully who would sneak up behind kids, push them onto the sidewalk and run away. When he did that to me, I thought I scared him away by calling him nasty names, but, years later, my dad confessed that he had visited the bullyís parents and threatened them with a lawsuit. Thatís what Dads are for.

The prin will do jack.
That's his job.

Wow. My first time here and I almost cried. There is nothing worse than seeing your child hurt and feeling helpless. I hope the principal is able to change the situation, but I doubt it. Unfortunately, you can't force someone [S.]to be kind... The best thing you can do is equip your children to deal with the [many] people out there that choose not to be... Good luck!

Not sure how feasible this is, but consider pulling your kid out of that school, or consider getting a restraining order against S. and or the school. You need somekind of legal leash on those who doesn't care if your child gets hurt.

It's extraordinarily tough to be a parent in such a scenario because you obviously love your kid, but when confronting recalcitrant school administrators you immediately lose all credibility if you show any emotion. That ass-wipe wanted to make you cry because it gave him the upper hand.

It sounds like you may have found a way to provide the guy with some significant motivation to get things suitably resolved, so hopefully that will be the end of it. Best of luck...

I'm intrigued. Pressure is being brought to bear. Or moose. Something.

All seriousness aside, we're pulling for you.

Hope it does go well, and that this is not just a snow job. Hope for the best, but line up all the arty you can for a time on impact Monday if it does not.

I admire you, Michele. You're a tough cookie, but you've got a good heart.

Michele, you're a better person than I. My attitude is a happy ending for DJ and to hell with the bully S.

Crosses fingers

If things are not resolved and you know members of the School Board, instead of calling them on a personal basis, make an appointment with the School Board for a regular meeting, to be on the agenda. It is best to confront them in their official positions, for then they have to listen with others as witnesses. If your local newspaper doesn't usually cover those meetings, find a way to suggest that they might want to cover that one.