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the bottom of the barrel

prmp.jpgI blow you all away with my bottom 100 (see post below for reference). I am the QUEEN of bad movies.

I feel that I owe some explanations and excuses, so I have added notes to some of the movies. Most of them, however, were the result of 200 cable channels and lots of insomnia. I didn't say I enjoyed them, I just watched them.


IMDB Bottom 100 (Bold: saw Underline: own)
1 'Manos' the Hands of Fate
2 From Justin to Kelly (2003) - I have a 13 year old daughter. That's my excuse.
3 Future War (1997)
4 Space Mutiny (1988)
5 Troll 2 (1990)
6 Eegah (1962)
7 Hobgoblins (1987)
8 Backyard Dogs (2000)
9 Gigli (2003)
10 Santa with Muscles (1996)

11 Going Overboard
12 Werewolf (1996)
13 Giant Spider Invasion, The
14 Glitter (2001) We watched this intentionally just to see if it was a as bad as everyone says. It was.
15 Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)
16 Police Academy: Mission to Moscow
17 Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
18 Kazaam (1996) In the movie theater, no less. So bad that I have named an award after it.
19 Leonard Part 6 (1987)
20 Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000)
21 Hercules in New York (1970)
22 Lawnmower Man 2: Beyond Cyberspace (1996)
23 It's Pat (1994)
24 Baby Geniuses (1999) So bad you have to keep watching.
25 2001: A Space Travesty (2000)
26 Jaws: The Revenge (1987) In the movie theater.
27 Cool as Ice (1991)
28 Bolero (1984) 2.6 (1036 votes)
29 Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The
30 Mitchell (1975)
31 Smokey and the Bandit III (1983)
32 Teen Wolf Too (1987)
33 Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)
34 House of the Dead (2003)
35 Vercingétorix (2001)
36 Captain America (1991)
37 Steel (1997) No more Shaq. Ever.
38 Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach
39 Cat in the Hat, The (2003)
40 Mannequin: On the Move (1991)
41 Rollerball (2002)
42 Tarzan, the Ape Man (1981)
43 Ringmaster (1998) 2.9
44 Master of Disguise, The (2002)
45 Problem Child 2 (1991)
46 Spice World (1997) Watched with my daughter. I swear.
47 Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie Ok. I admit it. I loved this movie. The cheesiness, the bad dialogue and Tommy the White Ranger made it watchable. The bad guys made it even better. Ivan Ooze, Goldar and Lord Zed are loveable villians. Shut up.
48 Cop & 1/2 (1993)
49 Mr. Nanny (1993) I had a thing for Hulk Hogan.
50 Mortal Kombat: Annihilation I had a thing for the soundtrack.
51 Street Fighter (1994) Didn't everyone see this?
52 Jaws 3-D (1983) In the movie theater.
53 Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) But it had Estelle Getty!
54 Double Dragon (1994)
55 Crossroads (2002) Blame the daughter again.
56 Barb Wire (1996)
57 Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn, An
58 Bats (1999/I)
59 FeardotCom (2002)
60 Universal Soldier: The Return (1999)
61 Mangler, The (1995)
62 RoboCop 3 (1993)
63 Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
64 Best Defense (1984)
65 Mac and Me (1988) I have no idea why I watched this. I must have had a fever that day.
66 Iron Eagle II (1988)
67 Mr. Magoo (1997) 3.3 (1809 votes)
68 Grease 2 (1982)
69 Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) It's like Speed 2, only with a bus instead of a boat!
70 Ticker (2001) 3.3 (1023 votes)
71 Glen or Glenda (1953)
72 Mr. Wrong (1996)
73 Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987)
74 Highlander II: The Quickening (1991) Worst. Sequel. Ever.
75 Pokémon the First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back (1999) Yea, I liked this one, too. What are you going to do about it? How can you not love Pikachu?
76 Avengers, The (1998) Worst. Remake. Ever.
77 Jury Duty (1995)
78 Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977)
79 Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)
80 Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd
81 Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)
82 Derailed (2002)
83 Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
84 Caddyshack II (1988)
85 Weekend at Bernie's II (1993)
86 Omega Code, The (1999)
87 Super Mario Bros. (1993) You saw this too and you know it.
88 Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002) Coincidentally, playing on cable all this month!
89 Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (1978) Movie theater. Still waiting for a refund.
90 Endless Love (1981) Oh, like 100 times. What seems romantic when you're 19 seems creepy when you're older.
91 Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
92 Nothing But Trouble (1991)
93 McHale's Navy (1997)
94 On Deadly Ground (1994)
95 Kangaroo Jack (2003)
96 Batman & Robin (1997) Don't get me started.
97 Stupids, The (1996) I read the books to my kids. I liked Tom Arnold. How bad could it be? There's no word for it, really.
98 Pet Sematary II (1992)
99 Leprechaun (1993)
100 Bio-Dome (1996)

Now admit it, you wimps. You saw every Pauly Shaw movie. You laughed at Police Academy. Can anyone out there match my nerve and actually admit to liking some of these movies? And it doesn't count if you've been drinking.

TrackBack

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Comments

hahaha, I just did this half. I got you beat. I have seen 71 off of this list. Gah. Kill me now.

Oh my, I've only seen 1 of them, but then I haven't seen that many of the top 100 either. And yes, I did enjoy McHale's Navy. It probably helped that I had never seen the original TV show, and I caught it late at night on cable, and therefore had no expectations for it to fail to fulfill. Anyway, I like Bruce Campbell. Army of Darkness is one of my treasured DVDs.

I have never, ever, seen a Pauly Shore movie.

I tried to find one on the list I liked. The closest I could come was to say that I didn't realize how bad Baby Geniuses was until after I left the theater. (Did I just admit to paying money for that? Doh!)

I saw every Pauly Shore movie. We just got "Power Ranger's Christmas" , not on the list, but....

Santa With Muscles! What ever became of the Hulkster's movie career?

Isimply cannot believe that the Movie "XXX" is not on this list. It has to be the worst stinker of the 21st century so far.

Did I mention it stars Vin Diesel ?

That truely makes it a Golden Turkey winner!

I'm sorry, but "The Avengers" was NOT the worst remark ever. That honor is reserved for "Wild Wild West".

Personally, I thought "The Stupids" was a great adaptation of the books. Getting Captain Kangaroo to be the "bad guy" was a brilliant casting decision too, in my opinion.

Ok.saw 44,45,53,62,65,75,94 and ,I own Grease 2(I will keep it to make my six year old watch it when she's 16.we watched it like 50 times when she was 4)

What does it say that the very first date I had with the woman that would one day be my wife was #53 on this list...?

As soon as I saw the list I knew every Police Academy and every Friday the 13th would be on your list. They are on mine too.

What ... no CHUD? You loser ... how can you miss CHUD?!?!

As if the world isn't full of Canabalistic Humanioid Underground Dwellers ...

I've seen quite a few of the movies on the list. No excuses except maybe boredom.

"Can anyone out there match my nerve and actually admit to liking some of these movies?"

I can admit to kinda, sorta liking #80 - Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd - if liking a few of the deleted scenes on the DVD more than the movie itself counts.

I'll admit to liking "Street Fighter", it's clean, campy fun. I like how they still have Van Damme playing an American, even though they have a built in excuse with the U.N. thing going on.

"Out of Africa". I hate dating myself like this.

I'll make it (dating myself) worse. "From Noon till Three". Charles Bronson, Jill Ireland. Insufferable, incomprehensible. Absurd, yet flaccid.

I've always thought the terribleness of Manos was over-rated.

Well, no, not over-rated, exactly; it's just that there are worse movies. For example, The Beast of Yucca Flats had better photography, but it had about eight lines of dialogue, only the most feeble flailing at a plot, and all the Manos cast were better actors (including the dog).

Red Zone Cuba had all these defects, plus the alleged plot was even less interesting and more brutal (at least the Beast had the excuse of being irradiated to account for his brutality), and the uncut version featured a rape. (So I read.) Plus they tried to pass off Arizona as Cuba.

The Creeping Terror also has little dialogue (they accidentally dropped the sound recording in Lake Tahoe; no, really) and only the most ephemeral plot. Plus the monster's goofy. I give it Creepy Cult points for the lovingly-photographed scenes of female torsos being ingested into the monster's maw, plus the lady in the spandex pants. If you're into that sort of thing.

The Terror (not to be confused with the above), starring Boris Karloff and Jack Nicholson, co-directed by Francis Ford Coppola, is also fairly stinky. The other director is Roger Corman, which explains it. Karloff's good, or at least he sounds good. Nicholson sounds like he wandered in from Chicago (it's set in 18th century Europe). Nicholson stumbles over mystery, thinks Karloff has something to do with it, wanders around Karloff's castle basement for a long while, finds key to mystery. It's not really that shocking today. The last scene is not to be missed; burned itself on my psyche when I saw it when I was a kid. Yuck-o-la. Filmed in Hangover-O-Vision.

I kind of liked Hobgoblins. There are certain movies which completely capture a certain era, and this is one of them. Whether that era, once captured, should be quickly euthanized is not for me to say.

Ok whoa whoa whoa....Manos the Hands of Fate is bad..UNLESS you watch it Mystery Science Theatre style!!! then it's the best movie ever made. LOL

I like watching Jaws 3D because it's a great movie to make fun of. Does that count?

"Jaws 3: This time, it's PERSONAL." Or was that Jaws 4? I don't recall, only that the slogan was used enthusiastically by me and my friends for the rest of that summer. Especially when one of us won a little plastic shark on the boardwalk.

Da dum.
Da dum.
Da dum da dum da dum!

I'm relieved to say that I haven't seen too many of the movies on this list. But I would argue that Power Ranger and Pokemon movies are in a different category. I actually enjoyed them mostly from seeing how much my kids enjoyed them.

I actually liked "Rollerball" and how can any movie (Barb Wire) that show Pamela Anderson's tits be bad? "McHale's Navy" was a stupid movie but it WAS funny.

I love movies, but I have only seen Glen and Glenda, and Plan 9 from Outer Space--it must be an Ed Wood thing. I don't have to have seen these to pity you who have.

Only four of 'em: Endless Love, Batman & Robin, Best Defense and Bolero. Bolero had the saving grace of Bo Derek naked. Best Defense -- well, I saw that with simply the most gorgeous woman I ever dated. Endless Love was indeed creepy as hell. I don't remember Batman & Robin at all.

Most it would seem have braved many more of these proven stinkers.

I got about 35, but failed to find House or House 2 on the list. How bottom of the barrel could it be?

Tanker, for shame.

House and House 2 ROCKED.

Ahhhh, Space Mutiny, one of the best MST3K episodes ever..."Railing kill!"

Ed Wood movies are great viewing - he at least had the virtue of being earnest.

Armageddon is bad.
Sphere is bad.

Sextette will make you want to gouge your eyes out.

I liked Best Defense. I find it hard to believe anyone could have seen Manos, Space Mutiny, or Mitchell any other way than via Mystery Science Theater 3000. There was one good line in BioDome: "Please let me out of the closet, mommy, or at least slide another pancake under the door." Ennnh...guess you had to be there.