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burning question of the day

rbeef.jpgWhy would a famous, national food chain name one of their sandwiches Hot Beefeater? Like IHOP's Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity, it's something I might be embarassed to order.

I can just picture the exchange in a crowded Quizno's:

Sandwich Guy, yelling over counter: Are you the Philly Cheesesteak?
Me: No, I'm the Hot Beefeater!

At which point several male customers whip out fifty dollar bills and eye me hungrily.

I solved the problem (the problem being that I wanted to try this sub) the other day by sending my sister to Quizno's and let her do the ordering. I'll tell you right now, it's not worth sounding like a cheesy hooker to get that sub.

It was dry, it was dull and they gave me a side of chili sauce. Chili sauce! I'm sorry, but a sub that is described as Roast beef dipped in Au Jus, mozzarella, mushrooms, sauteed peppers, sauteed onions shouldn't need anything extra other than a dash of salt. The peppers and onions were closer to crunchy than sauteed. The cheese wasn't melted. The Au Jus was awww just not there. The chili sauce didn't help. Suffice it to say the local Quizno's will never get to hear me utter the words I'm the Hot Beefeater.

I'm sure you all have, at least once in your life, wanted to order something at a restaurant or fast food place but the name was too embarassing to say, so you just pointed to the menu instead.

Or is it just me that is afraid to speak the names of ridiculous food items aloud?

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I can just picture the exchange in a crowded Quizno's: Sandwich Guy, yelling over counter: Are you the Philly Cheesesteak? Me: No, I'm the Hot Beefeater! At which point several male customers whip out fifty dollar bills and eye me hungrily. I solved th... [Read More]

Comments

Maybe they think you're tired of swallowing all those Whoppers?

I'm secure enough in my masculinity to sound-off for the Hot Beefeater, but I do have a phobia about eating corndogs in public.

I have the same problem with McDonald's "Big 'N Tasty". Fortunately, when I want one, I can just order it by number.

I'm the Hot Beefeater, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Well, I also get to work at 7am, so when I'm ready for lunch, Quizno's is still empty.

It's fabulous with horseradish.

(There's a popsicle called "The Big Stick" that cracked me up in high school.)

I can only order the Rooty Tooty Fresh N' Fruity if I'm with friends who appreciate the stupid fake accent I order it with. Rolling "r's" and all: "Rrrrooty Toot Frrrrresh an' Frrroot!"

In my (much) younger days, sloe gin and orange juice, a/k/a "Sloe Screw".

It took me years to conclude that Moons over My Hammy were tasty enough to justify having to say the name.

I doubt I'll ever be ready for a Hot Beefeater.

Just please don't order it with mayonnaise. That joke would be just TOO easy.... ;0)

Maybe you should ask S-Train about this - he's running his own shop... You could get an interesting response....

They put that stone cold ice cream place right next store to Quizno's. Is yours the same?

Roast Beef is what I get there. I usually point to it on the menu :)

My friend and I (in HS) used to DIE LAUGHING over the names on the Denny's menu. Now, it's just stupid, then... hilarious! I think I'd prolly just order a roastbeef sammich from Quizno's.

I don't give into their need to make people look like idiots when ordering! It's a conspiracy is what it is!

Occasionally I will go to the 99 restaurants. Not a very good place IMHO but the steak tip are pretty good. Before I realized what the best thing on the menu was I ordered a traditional Burger. I remember the server, who happened to be female and have, shall we say Large Ganzagas.

"I will have the Bigguns burger please."

She looked at me sorta strangely and them said slowly "It's the BigNines Burger"

I honestly misread it!

Next time you're at McDonald's, try ordering a "Quarter Pantload with Cheese", or maybe a "McJelloMoldCoveredWithViscousFluid" (McRib).

You'd probably die of shame if you had to order a sandwish at Erbert and Gerbert's, then. The thought of you ordering the Jacob Bluefinger or the Boney Billy makes me smile inside.

I'd never take my kids to Wendy's because I refused to order a "Biggie" anything.

For years, I avoided going to Jack-in-the-Box, because I would feel like an idiot talking to that head.

i used to get t he "chocolate thunder from down under" at outback until my friend chris pointed out why that was bad.
now i just can't...

You know what would be funny? I'll tell you what would be funny. I think it would be funny to go to a restaurant somewhere in Green Bay and ask for a "4th and 26 to go." Yes. Yes, that would be hysterically funny.

Next time ask for a Hot Beefeater Injection. I did, and I couldn't be more pleased.

Ryan, you are dangerously close to being banned.

Jim, the thought actually crossed my mind. And I don't want to know why you were pleased.

I look at it this way: I'm not the one being paid $6 an hour (or less) to prepare and serve up the swill. If it's a bright spot in the server's day to be able to snicker behind their hand and say "she said 'hot beef'...huh uh uh uh uh!", then fine.

although, from the folks I know who have worked at eating establishments, it's almost more of a torture for the servers to have to deal with the stupid names.

You know what would be funny? I'll tell you what would be funny. I think it would be funny to go to a restaurant somewhere in Green Bay and ask for a "4th and 26 to go." Yes. Yes, that would be hysterically funny.

That's not funny my friend...that would get your ass kicked.

I always thought "fish taco" sounded really dirty. Like it would come with a side of bearded clam.

My gloating is getting out of hand, isn't it?

If you need me, I'll be over in the corner, giggling softly.

Michele, I was looking for something to write about, and then I read your post.

Stupid names. I agree.

Thanks.

My mom always would order a fuzzy navel, but could never remember what it was called and say stuff like hairy bellybutton.

Its not a food, but I recall being very embarrassed going to the movies with my sister and a friend and having to say "Three for Dirty Dancing."

I remember a very old George Will column featuring a guy who refused to say the cutesy name on the menu at a fast food restaurant. He kept describing the item he wanted unmistakably, the lady at the counter kept prompting him ("Oh, you mean the [I forget what it was, but it really was stupid]"), and finally he actually gave up and left without ordering, because he couldn't bear to say it.

This was in the context of Will's explaining that he liked a particular ice cream cone called a "Nutty Buddy" (if he means what I think he means, I'm with him there), but couldn't stand ordering one.

Myself, I would avoid restaurants that say they serve things "dipped in Au Jus," however cheap.

Way to go Meryl. I was sitting here thinking, no one will remember ordering a "trough" at Farrell's (and I was not going to admit being old enough to have had the experience). So, you get your trough, pig out, and they actually gave you a ribbon that says "I made a pig of myself at Farrell's". Those were the days, my friend.

How many of you remember (or are willing to admit you remember) the episode of "The Bob Newhart Show" where Bob just wouldn't order anything off of the menu at the ice cream (restaurant? parlor? remember those, like Farrell's?), cause they always showed up and sang some ridiculous song, and embarrassed their customers? He finally tried a single scoop of chocolate ice cream.

And John Ritter (the waiter) delivered it, singing "single scooper single scooper, this man is a party pooper"!

I miss John Ritter.

You have to specifically request a little side container of au jus dipping sauce with that sandwich. Otherwise they don't give you one.

However, even if you do request one, the sandwich still isn't very good. :)

In Germany, they call that sammich a 'geheimlenschlagen'. You dip it into the juice and it gets all schlagen.