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colder than carbonite

hsc.jpgNormally, I make fun of frantic weathermen (sorry, weatherpersons) and fearmongering newscasters for taking two hours to say: it's cold out. Yea. New York. Winter. Cold. Go figure.

I hate wind chill factors as much as I hate the heat index. 90 degrees but feels like 155! Not really. 90 degrees and feels like you can swim through the air is more like it. Almost the same thing every winter; It's 20 degrees outside, but with that howling wind it feels like ten below Antarctica! And the wind would howl about once every hour - not enough to convince your kids that it was only right to dress them in 52 layers of wool and fur.

Once in a great while, the weather equals the hyperbole. Now, I don't want to hear from you people that live in some godforsaken farm town in Saskatchewan. You're used to this. We're not. And it's finally my turn to engage in all that hyperbole.

Colder than a witch's tit just doesn't do it. No idea what that saying means, anyhow. I put a glass of water outside just to see what would happen; not only did it freeze within minutes, but the glass cracked as well. The ice on my windshield is about two inches thick. Walk out the door with a bit of your face and hands showing and frostbite ensues within seconds.

This is the first time I've ever kept everyone home because it's cold outside. Granted, we all aren't feeling up to par anyhow, the son has been out of school all week anyhow with a virus, school is opening on a two hour delay and, well...that's enough reasons, right?

The wind is going at it almost non-stop now. Wind chill factor: 20 below. I think we can safely engage in using the "feels like" factor now because damn, it feels like a punishment from the gods.

There's one thing I have to do today, though. At some point I will bundle the kids up and send them across the street to my parents' house. Just for a few minutes. I'm doing them a favor, actually. One day they will be able to say to their own kids, I remember when I had to walk to my grandma's house - both ways - in snow and ice and freezing temperatures! Stuff like that builds character, anyway.

Me, I have enough character already. It's a three-day weekend (really, five days) and I don't plan on leaving the house until Tuesday morning. I'll probably spend most of the day today sitting around watching the Weather Channel, just so I can remember The Day the Forecasters Were Right.

Comments

First winter I lived in Minnesota it got down to 85 below with the wind chill.
That's 25 below with a 25mph wind.

"cold as a witch's tit... in a brass bra"

"Colder than a witch's tit just doesn't do it."

How about colder then a Penguin's Peter?

yeah, someone commenting on my site already said the "witch's tit" analogy and that they live in way upstate new york... sigh my dog stepped outside this morning and then looked up at me with eyes that said "Erin, I am calling the ASPCA on you for dragging my arse out from under your comforter, slapping a leash on me and asking me to pee in 7 inches of snow... you know i am only 6 inches tall"

i ramble. need coffee. stay warm, my friend.

Call me selfish, but it's nice once in a while to find reasons to be GLAD I live in the Middle East and not back home in the Northeast U.S.

Here, it's in the 50's and sunny.

Freezing here too!!!!!! School was called off yesterday afternoon. 4 day weekend for us too.

Call me twisted,but I miss days like that. I spent most of my like in IL/WI,and life here in SF,CA just ain't da same.

NEW YORK, Jan. 8 /PRNewswire/ -- Former Vice President Al Gore will deliver a major address attacking the Bush Administration's policies on global warming and the environment at the historic Beacon Theatre in New York City on Thursday, January 15. The speech is being co-sponsored by MoveOn.org and Environment2004.

- Uhhhhh.......global warming on possibly the coldest day of the year?

My favorite? "Cold as the balls on a brass monkey."

Or as Dr. Clayton Forrester put it, "Brass monkeys, Frank, brass monkeys."

Temps like that are a fairly common occurrence in Minnesota. We laugh at you. Laugh!

But then the folks up in Yellowknife laugh at us. Laugh! As I type this, the Yellowknife home page says it's -27 and snowing lightly.

Hey, those of us who live in the places that usually get that kind of weather should know better than to gloat. It may not be empirically provable, but I know in my heart that Ma Nature believes in karma. Bundle up and stay safe!

As someone who's always lived in the Midwest, moving to Minnesota was an unexpectedly harsh wake up call. My first winter here was horrible. 80+ inches of snow and regularly below zero---so much so that it was no big deal in my mind by the end of that winter. Still isn't. I find it rather funny how everyone on the east coast is freaking out right now. We had -10 temps a week and a half ago and I didn't see any coverage about it on CNN.

What's really funny though, when you're used to these kinds of temperatures, is when you can actually feel the difference between -20 and -10. You think it would feel the same---just freaking cold, but when it's been -20 and then it warms up, but is still below zero, you can tell the difference.

It's going to hit thirty here today. I'm looking forward to it. We're having a heat wave.

Hah! In Regina Sask., this time of year the radio says thing things like:
"it's 40 below zero, with a wind chill factor of 20 degrees [which in theory would make it 60 below]. Exposed skin freezes in 20 seconds"

Luckily for a kid with good circulation, that "exposed skin freezes," stuff is bullshit. I used to wait for the bus for up to a half an hour every morning and with my face exposed most of the time and I never got frostbite once.

But as kids we were all WAY TOO MACHO to wear enough cloths to be comfortable. It's strange, I didn't think of myself as macho, but we all wore as little as we could get away with, even people like me with little tolerance for cold.

Though it's my parents fault that they never bought me good boots. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realised that it's possible to have warm feet in the winter.

Bah.

It's 50 degrees here in the Great Northwest. Of course, I haven't seen the sun for many months.

Stay bundled up, friends.

Welcome to my world. I actually miss it.

Time for a fun very cold weather experiment...my friend in Minnesota taught me this one. Take a bottle of soap bubbles and blow bubbles outside in very very cold weather. They freeze in mid-air ...pretty interesting.

Just remember: 20-minute weather forecast = no other bad news worth reporting.

(I would have typed that an hour ago, but I just got the feeling in my thumbs back)

"In sooth, sire, I say thee; 'tis more frigid than the breast of a sorceress!"

"...some godforsaken farm town in Saskatchewan".

Heh. How sad is it that I read that and thought: cool, she said "Saskatchewan".

We're supposed to hit close +40 F today, which is a rare chance to gloat (which I'm taking Steve, karma be damned!). But yeah, Joshua's scenario is far more common this time of year. And I can vouch for him on the kids being too cool/stupid to dress properly thing too (myself included, once upon a time).

To think I sometimes actually complain about living in Florida...

Speaking of being frozen in carbonite, life-size Lego replicas are wicked cool, too.

My father grew up in Syracuse, NY and he always laughed at the forecasters in central PA who would freak out with 6in of snow and how the schools would panic and close with 2-4in of snow. Even the temperatures now don't phase him...they used to with me until I actually spent a month in Buffalo. Now, I just smile and laugh at the people in Philly.

4in of snow and the city shuts down? Hehe...I think the worlds ending.

"...some godforsaken farm town in Saskatchewan".

Heh. How sad is it that I read that and thought: cool, she said "Saskatchewan".

Oh, I missed that part. Well Regina isn't a farm town... and I don't live there anymore...

I guess Michele didn't want to hear from me.

What random GIR quote are you?!


So you went crazy. And stuff. And now you're
capturing cops for meat testing. Tsk.


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I've just had this thing about Saskatchewan since my old hockey days.

As a fan, not a player, I mean.


Zim is a fool- your soap-making abilities are
better than those of the leading brand! ^_~


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Stay warm. Burn stuff.

It's a balmy 25 here in Minnesota, I won't even have to wear a jacket today! I do feel a small bit of pity for you guys though - hang in there, there's only a few months of winter left.

MMM Quizilla


Thug Bear


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Boy, do I not miss being in NJ. 36 in Richmond right now, and I'm complaining about THAT being too cold.

Sorry, Michele. It's all relative, I know.

I really should get my own blog, but I'm having fun.

Nerdslut


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Did we do these quizzes before?

Karma? In that case, I laugh -- LAUGH DERISIVELY AND WITH VAST AMOUNTS OF MALICIOUS MIRTH -- at those who complain about the cold in the Northeast.

It has been in the 50s and 60s here in subtropical west Georgia. Winter has forgotten how to find us, and never will again. NEVER I say! Ahhhhh hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

<looks out window, sees no snow clouds gathering>

Aw, shoot.

I suppose it would be wrong to mention I am wearing a t-shirt and jeans on this "chilly" 60 degree San Diego day

Yep, 60 degrees in Athens, Georgia. I drove around happily with my sun-roof open feeling the sun hot on my head. Glorious.

[cartman]Nya nya nya nya, ha ha ha ha ha ha [/cartman]

D

We had last week in the Portland, OR, area what you're getting this week. First, 2-3 inches of snow on New Year's day which was melting but not quite gone by the following Monday pm/Tuesday am, when we had another 4-5 inches, then sleet for several hours during the day, followed by freezing rain for that night and the next morning.

It was pretty at first...and the daughter had an extra week of Christmas vacation from school. However, the chimney of our fireplace decided that it was too dirty on NE day, and we couldn't get anyone to come clean it until Tuesday, when, of course, we had the larger storm, and they couldn't make it until Friday. The FP is in our sunroom/family room and, other than plug-in baseboard heaters, is the only major source of heat there. It wasn't "that" bad and could have been a lot worse. Lesson learned: Get chimney cleaned yearly.

Thankfully, we usually have pretty mild winters here with just a LOT of rain, and "bad" winter storms like last week occur only every 3-5 years.

It's going to be great football weather, tho, for the NE.

Sending warm thoughts...