bad mood rising
A 13 member jury has selected the final design for the World Trade Center Memorial, though they haven't announced it yet.
I take it back.
It's not that I want one of the other two finalists to be the winner. I went over all of them again today and something kept kicking at my gut. Things I liked about the designs less than two months ago were now irking me. I chose today to find all the little points about each that bothered me. And why? Why was I suddenly being so pissy about these selections when in November I said about them, They are all beautiful in their own way?
I get it now. I know where my gut was going with the constant lurching all day.
I don't want any of them. All of a sudden, I don't want there to be a memorial with gardens and flowers and shining light and flowing streams. I want it to be dark and dreary and depressing. I want it to make you feel bitter, angry and sad. Why? Because I'm selfish. Because I still feel bitter, angry and sad and I still get depressed about it and I want everyone to keep feeling that raw emotion that never, ever leaves me.
'll most likely feel differently tomorrow or maybe even tonight, but right now I don't feel anything but pain, all over again and misery loves company. I want everyone to feel their heart clench and have the tears well up just like me.
Yea, it's wrong and it's selfish. Sometimes the dark side likes to come out of hiding. Today's the day.