i'd hit it
A friend emails to tell me that John Derbyshire wanted women to submit names of men who are "sexy but not good looking." I haven't been to The Corner in a while and I'm not going to break my vow to never read a John Derbyshire post again, so I'll just wing it.
Sexy, not good looking. Is there such a thing? And if there is, it is something that a man would apply to a woman as well? I can't imagine a guy saying yea, she's ugly, but I'd bang her. Unless, of course, the guy was just as ugly and was looking to rid himself of the Virgin tag before his 40th birthday. But perhaps I am underestimating men.
That's not the subject here, though. The subject is sexy men who are, I presume, ugly. Or just not great looking. I've really had to think about this one. The thing is, I'm not much into the whole celebrity thing. There are very few male stars - Antonio Banderas may be the only one - who I would gladly undress for. If I weren't married, of course. And Antonio is gorgeous so he doesn't count. Basically, once a star opens his mouth, I am completely turned off. Stars have this incredible capacity to be raging assholes when speaking public.
Anyhow, I finally did come up with one guy. One man who is really not very pleasant to look at, who, in fact, has a horrid personality and would probably scare the devil himself. Too bad he's not real. Then again, maybe it's a good thing he's not real because I can see myself stalking him until he finally gives in and [deleted] me. Several times. In one day.
Yes, the man of my fantasies is a comic book character named Spider Jerusalem. I've had a deep, disturbing crush on him for a while.
Maybe it's an ego thing, because I tend to see parts of me in him. Wait, I'm making love to myself in my fantasies? No, that's just wrong. Let's try again.
Maybe it's quotes like this one that make me want to stick my tongue down his throat:
[Speaking about journalists] "Laying open the guts of the world and sniffing the entrails. That's what we do."
Yea, he's fiction. Yea, his words are written by someone else. Yea, he's bald and ugly and looks like all the men my mother every warned me about.
That must be it.