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i'd hit it

A friend emails to tell me that John Derbyshire wanted women to submit names of men who are "sexy but not good looking." I haven't been to The Corner in a while and I'm not going to break my vow to never read a John Derbyshire post again, so I'll just wing it.

Sexy, not good looking. Is there such a thing? And if there is, it is something that a man would apply to a woman as well? I can't imagine a guy saying yea, she's ugly, but I'd bang her. Unless, of course, the guy was just as ugly and was looking to rid himself of the Virgin tag before his 40th birthday. But perhaps I am underestimating men.

That's not the subject here, though. The subject is sexy men who are, I presume, ugly. Or just not great looking. I've really had to think about this one. The thing is, I'm not much into the whole celebrity thing. There are very few male stars - Antonio Banderas may be the only one - who I would gladly undress for. If I weren't married, of course. And Antonio is gorgeous so he doesn't count. Basically, once a star opens his mouth, I am completely turned off. Stars have this incredible capacity to be raging assholes when speaking public.

Anyhow, I finally did come up with one guy. One man who is really not very pleasant to look at, who, in fact, has a horrid personality and would probably scare the devil himself. Too bad he's not real. Then again, maybe it's a good thing he's not real because I can see myself stalking him until he finally gives in and [deleted] me. Several times. In one day.

transmetro.jpg

Yes, the man of my fantasies is a comic book character named Spider Jerusalem. I've had a deep, disturbing crush on him for a while.

Maybe it's an ego thing, because I tend to see parts of me in him. Wait, I'm making love to myself in my fantasies? No, that's just wrong. Let's try again.

Maybe it's quotes like this one that make me want to stick my tongue down his throat:

[Speaking about journalists] "Laying open the guts of the world and sniffing the entrails. That's what we do."

Yea, he's fiction. Yea, his words are written by someone else. Yea, he's bald and ugly and looks like all the men my mother every warned me about.

That must be it.

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Comments

You're underestimating the men!

It's been a couple months, but the way i remember it, Derb was trying to explain to his wife how a woman could appear sexy but not pretty. He invited readers to mail in names of female personalities for an example. It's just a discussion over the definitions of the words pretty and sexy

There is definitely such a thing as sexy but not good-looking. Mick Jagger, for one. By no stretch of the imagination was Jagger ever a good-looking man. But up until a few years ago, boy was he sexy. Personally, I don't find Steve Tyler to be sexy, but there are a lot of women who do, and he's not good-looking either.

And then there was Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock. Maybe it was the ears. I don't know.

My vote is Gene Hackman. If you place him next to Brad Pitt or Robert Redford - maybe he wouldn't stand a chance (in terms of shallow surface beauty) but I find him extremely sexy. Even sexier as he gets older.

I'm not very good-looking.

Okay, I'm not sexy either. And your point?

That one is easy for me -- John Malkovich. After "Dangerous Liaisons", I've just had this thing for him that I can't quite explain...and don't really try...

"I tend to see parts of me in him."

Yes, but have you ever seen parts of him in you?

It never ceases to disgust me how many women think Rod Stewart is/was sexy.

Dog. MAJOR dog.

Tommy Lee Jones.

He's definitely ugly. But something about him makes you think he'd give you a great ride. The really nasty, pull you by the hair kind...

Emma Thompson is no stunner, but I think she's sexy as all hell.

"I tend to see parts of me in him."

I always knew you were a closet Objectivist.

As to Meryl's comment about Rod Stewart... I saw him the other night on Letterman. He kept reminding me of my son's favorite quote from the Simpsons: "Grandpa, are you all right?" Skag.

I don't know, I think Bill Gates is sexy as hell. But that could be the geek factor, and of course his bazillion dollar bank account.

But I find a lot of not particularly hansome men to be sexy. Patrick Stewart for instance.

See, I'm just the opposite...good looking, but not sexy!

Harvey Keitel.

Martha Plimpton. Bette Midler. Gena Gershon.

BTW the french have a word for it: jolie-laide.

Kissing Jessica Stein all over again.

Ok, here's my bid:

Sandra Bernhardt. If she ain't "Sexy Ugly" I don't know who is.

I'm not gay, but I'd have to go with Gilbert Gottfried on this one.

Hey, I think Patrick Stewart is very goodlooking!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugly sexy guy, no one beats that Benecio Del Toro guy.

Laura San Giacomo, and Vanessa Lengies from American Dreams.

Mother always said Charles Bronson was sexy but I don't think anyone would have called him a pretty boy.

Hmmm... sexiness is much more than looks. And definitely, even spectacular looks doesn't automatically translate into sexiness.

IE I don't get the whole swooning over Ashton Kutcher (Kelso that 70's show) thing! Ditto Keanue Reeves.

Tommy Lee Jones is sexy. Harrison Ford is. And Sean Connery was no babe even as a young man.

Interestingly, Cleopatra was never described as a beautiful woman, but her sexiness is legendary.

Ummmmm..
blushing delicate pink
Scott Glen really sends me. I like guys who are interestingly craggy...

Re: the ugly but I'd bang her. I've had an ex-boyfriend say this (not about me). Quite literally. Pretty much he's willing to bang anything that's female.

As for non-pretty people that are sexy, I knew this guy at my first company who was rather large (not excessive) and I found him to be quite sexy. He had a great sense of humor and a wonderful personality.

Dennis Miller. Jon Stewart. And I agree with Robyn on John Malkovich.

Nick Cave. He's exotic (being Australian) and tortured and mysterious.

Oh, I'd do Nick Cave in a heartbeat. And my husband would let me.

Shirley Manson from Garbage- she's a bit goofy looking, but pretty much at the top of my list of sexy woman.

Joey Ramone

Russell Crowe. Kevin Spacey. The guy who played Col. Brandon in Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson.

Not having the proper glandular bias, I have to rely on reports for his sexiness, but isn't Mick Jagger one of the ugliest men alive?

On men and ugly women, there are a lot of unattractive women getting married every day, so someone must find them at least a little sexy. Myself, I could put several boyfriends on the 'not great looking, but sexy anyway' list, but celebrities with the same qualities are harder to name.

Humphrey Bogart and Spencer Tracy were sexy w/o being superficially beautiful.

Laura San Giacomo and Emma Thompson are (or at least were) great looking.

Bette Midler and Sandra Bernhardt are scary on every level.

"Bill Gates is sexy as hell"??? That's just deviant.

Willem Dafoe, definitely.