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i resolve

It has been my experience that the best New Year resolutions to make are the ones that are easiest to keep. This way, you don't disappoint yourself by failing to keep to a diet and you don't hear it from your family that your resolution to be nicer is obviously not holding up.

Therefore, I present to you my 2004 List of Resolutions That I Vow to Keep:

  • Buy more comics
  • Drink more rum
  • Watch more movies
  • Have a lot of sex
  • Play more video games
  • Listen to a lot of music
  • Never go on a diet
  • Spend every Saturday in pajamas, reading and watching movies
  • Sleep late every Sunday
  • Eat more steak. And pie. And lobster.
  • Bitch about everything I have no control over
  • Piss off my mother
  • Take more naps
  • Spend a lot of time in front of the computer
  • Continue to ridicule those on the road who do not drive as well as I do
  • Squander money on action figures and other childish toys
  • Eat a huge bowl of sugared cereal at least once a week

Hmmm. By looking at that list, one would assume that I am a lazy, obnoxious, food-obsessed, money-wasting lush whose hobbies are sleeping, sex and engaging in juvenile pastimes.

Well, yeah.

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Comments

Fabulous! Are we related?

That's a great list. I just don't make resolutions. If I don't make any, I cannot, nor can anyone else be disappointed when I blow it. Yours, look attainable. :)

There is something to be said for having attainable goals...

See, I used to respect you until I read that.

I mean, not even one reference about trying to learn to belch louder in public. What's up with that?

Dean, I don't belch. Never have. It's some kind of weird physical flaw I have that I have never been able to burp.

Re: cereal -- the best cereal to "pig out" on is, undoubtedbly, a Pebbles variety -- chocolate or fruity. Either one is fine. Usually on a Friday night, after everyone else has gone to bed, and there's a cheesy movie on cable TV.

Or so I hear.

I actually had Fruity Pebbles in mind when I made that resolution.

Well, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Resolution lists usually are lists people make to deny themselves things they enjoy. This is better...

One more to: More praise for your (and my) favorite football team.

M: great minds and such, eh? - D

A comprehensive list of why we love ya!

I was thinking the exact same thing this year! I told my wife my new years resolution was so spend all of my extra income on Mocha's, and she looked at me like I was crazy. Hey, at least I'll have some extra money lying around if I don't keep it...

Hi Michele, I haven't checked out your blog in such a long time,

Good to see someone has realisctic resolutions.

The important thing isn't doing, but knowing how you do it.