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the newest threat:

Almanacs. Be on the lookout for people carrying almanacs.

But what kind of almanac, specifically? Should I be dodging people carrying the Farmer's Almanac? The Baseball Almanac?

So many almanacs so few terrorist type (shifty eyes, possibly wearing a stocking on face, uzi strapped to side) people walking around. We need to be careful to not engage in almanac profiling. Perhaps we should narrow down the list of almanacs to the most dangerous.

Let's discount dog almanacs and tree almanacs and almanacs that predict the best day to harvest the crop so as not to upset the children of the corn. Damn, it's all a bit confusing, isn't it? We don't want to end up calling the authorities on a person who was just reading Leo Laporte's Technology Almanac. That's embarassing enough in itself. Let's not be so quick to judge people by their fact-reading habits.

So go easy on our almanac reading citizens. Unless, of course, they are reading the 2003 issue of this:

almanac.jpg

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Comments

Okay, tomorrow's the day to sit in front of a federal building reading an almanac. All of us.

I don't use that almanac. It's never right.

I love this post! My parents gave my daughter an almanac for xmas. I grew up in a house where you did NOT discuss politics (go figure), but I'm pretty sure Pop's a Democrat. He is Irish-Catholic after all. But he's a banker, so maybe he's a Republican. Ack! I'm so confused! I wonder if he's trying to somehow brainwash my youngest (the oldest is a lost cause at this point!). Oh wait, I work at a book store, a 'hippie owned & run' bookstore. I maintain the reference section (among others), which contains more almanacs than you can imagine. Alas, I've seen more almanacs about the strangest things, but not that one particular one. OK, I guess I can breathe easy for now.

CP what the hell are you babbling about?

well damn, how else am I gonna train for "Jeopardy"...?

Are you "in a fight" with Leo Laporte?
Don't force me to choose.

No, I just think Leo is a giant, pus-filled boil.

So I guess the next "terrorist indicator" will be those people what maps of the country, maybe a GPS receiver to help their navigation?

Sheesh.

You know what the one of the best things the government could do to save thousands of innocent American lives each year? Cut the road toll. Get drunk drivers off the road. Permanently. Get unsafe vehicles off the road. Permanently.

But that requires upsetting too many people I guess.

I save my People's Almanac for all these years, now this. You can be very confusing, lady.