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coughing, quoting, cave-bombing

I'm continuing with the list even though everyone seems to have abandoned me and left me with the sound of crickets chirping. Surely I can't be the only one who is spending Christmas weekend at home with nothing but antibiotics and videogames to keep me company. Well yes, there's the husband and the kids, but for some reason I cannot fathom (could be the incessant hacking cough?) they refuse to come near me. Fine, I'll play Double Dash all by myself.

Anyhow, on with the list.

Five Great Quotes From 2003

1. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf: “They fled. The American louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Arab Socialist Baath Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the American soldiers. We had not anticipated this.”

2. Charles Pierce, Boston Globe: “If she had lived, Mary Jo Kopechne would be 62 years old. Through his tireless work as a legislator, Edward Kennedy would have brought comfort to her in her old age.”

3. Sheryl Crow: "I think war is based in greed and there are huge karmic retributions that will follow. I think war is never the answer to solving any problems. The best way to solve problems is to not have enemies."

4. Lewis Black: "It's 2003. Why can't I teleport?"

5. Johnny Depp as Agent Sanders in Once Upon a Time in Mexico: "Are you a Mexi-can or a Mexi-can't?"

That's all I got. The meds are kicking in and it's time to fall asleep playing Legend of Zelda. Perhaps I'll dream again about blowing holes in walls to find hidden caves.

If you've got better quotes, let's have them.

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Comments

I'm here, but I've been totally sluggish all day. I've got some sort of stomach virus thing, or maybe I shouldn't have eaten that leftover pizza.

Yes, the one I got in my fortune cookie this year:
"If you and I agree all the time, one of us becomes unnecessary".

I was teleporting -- I mean, traveling yesterday. But I'm here now, complete with self-contained breathing equipment and full hazmat suit.

I managed (so far) not to get what my wife had, but I'm not taking chances anymore.

"Shhhhhhhhhh. Don't tell anybody. It's a big secret that I used to do drugs."
(Courtney Love, outside the L.A. County courthouse.)

Ah, thanks for clearing that up for us, Court. And that was cookie-dough you overdosed on in October? Sugar cookies or chocolate chip?

D

Iraqi blogger Alaa: "The bones in the mass graves salute you, Avenger of the Bones."

I get less and less respect for Sheryl Crow. That was one of the stupidist things I've heard. Wouldn't it be nice if no one had enemies? I'm sorry, but to make some people happy, we would all have to be dead and I refuse to give them their wish. Peace can only be attained on an individual basis. There is no such thing as "World Peace."

Army Staff Sgt. Jamie Villafane: "We decided that it wasn’t so bad getting shot at, it was getting shot that sucked."

Just one more. A quote from Melvin Bragg featured on a post on Vodkapundit. Just read it.

"Gobble gobble."
- Jennifer Lopez, 'Gigli'

"She's 33, leave her alone."
- Jennifer Lopez' publicist, after the wedding cancellation

"Who?"
- Madonna, answering 'How does it feel to be the next Enid Blyton?', apparently ignorant of the author of several hundred children's books including the 'Noddy' series

and a last-minute entry:

"It's not like I'm Jack the Ripper or anything."
- Michael Jackson, more than once after his second arrest for child molestation

perletwo: "Who?"
- Madonna, answering 'How does it feel to be the next Enid Blyton?', apparently ignorant of the author of several hundred children's books including the 'Noddy' series

So, Enid Blyton and her several hundred books are so well known that you had to explain who she was?

My point wasn't the several hundred books, it was that Madonna didn't know any of them after claiming to be unable to find suitable reading for her children. Oh well, what I get for trying to be funny on a Sunday, I guess...

Zelda, huh? I just played half way through the original zelda on my emulator...

That's more than enough of that. I'm going back to my PS2.