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Mr. Death's Year End Review

Mr. Death had some year. In 2003, he collected a myriad of stars and famous figures, some of whom I wrote blogituaries* for.

Johnny Cash: My first reaction to the news about Johnny Cash was, he's back in the arms of his wife. Almost comforting to think about it.

John Ritter: If you've never seen Stay Tuned, today would be the perfect day to go out an rent it. Sure, you'll have to put up with Pam Dawber through the whole movie, but I think it would be a fitting gesture to the memory of John Ritter to watch him at his finest moment.

Fred Berry: You were cooler than Roger, cuter than Dwayne and sweeter than Shirley.

Robert Palmer: I have no personal stories to tell about Palmer or his music except for the time we made up new words to Addicted to Love and ended up with "Mike Ditka for Lunch."

Gordon Jump: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Bob Hope: There is no doubt that he was a generous, giving man and a great American.

Mr. Rogers: For a misanthrope like myself, the whole theme of the show flew in the face of everything I believed in.

Maurice Gibb: I still love the old Bee Gees. I still get those pangs of melancholy when I hear "Mining Disaster" or "I Started a Joke." And I will still deny that I ever danced to Jive Talkin' while in a drunken frenzy on my eighteenth birthday.

Uday and Qusay Hussein: "Yes, let the joyous news be spread! The wicked old witches at last are dead!"

George Plimpton: Author, actor, speaker; a true Renaissance Man.

Herb Brooks: Even if he had won a Stanley Cup or two, Brooks would always be known for coaching one of the greatest hockey games ever played and in the eyes of some, the greatest moment in sports.

Harry Goz: Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.

And those are just the people I wrote obituaries for. Also dead are:

Warren Zevon, Katherine Hepburn, Charles Bronson, Art Carney, Gregory Hines, Barry White, Gregory Peck, Robert Stack, Nell Carter, Daniel Patrick Moynihan, Idi Amin, David Brinkley, David Bloom, Tex Schramm, Joan Krok, Bill Shoemaker, Warren Spahn and the astronauts aboard the space shuttle Columbia.

I know there were many more, but there was one death that caused a bit of controversy for me, with just two sentences about his death:

Strom Thurmond: I bet even the worms in his coffin find him distasteful. Good riddance to 100 year old racist rubbish.

It's interesting to note that two of my most controversial, mud-slinging, troll-attracting posts occurred when I angered bloggers on the right. Remember the free lunch issue? [Follow ups here, here and here. Oh, and here. And here.

Anyhow, about Mr. Death. He really raked in the celebrities this year and didn't take out as many ruthless dictators and mass murderers as I had hoped for. Also, he took too many people at too young an age. Hopefully, he will make an effort to be more considerate this year and aim for a higher number of people who actually deserve to die (i.e., bin Laden) and much less tragedy.

*No, it wasn't necessary to make that word up. But I did it anyhow.


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He took too MANY people?

There I was, for MONTHS, wondering if my Dead Pool had become the Live Fucking Forever Pool.

Maybe he was too busy polishing his scythe, if you know what I mean.

Hey, unless something weird happens this week and a whole slew of people drop dead, I'm pretty much 0-for-my list in your pool.

Remember where Strom was on June 6, 1944.

Also, he supported his love child daughter, something a lot of black daddys fall short on.

Pam Dawber did her best work in Stay Tuned, albeit as an animated mouse.

Got to agree with Walter on Strom. He had good points despite his ideology, and like George Wallace, he finally saw that the integrated South (at least on a political level) was inevitable, and helped make it work.

Y'all are wrong about Strom. My mother's entire family lives in S.C., most of 'em are good Republicans and most of 'em wouldn't piss down his neck if he were dying of thirst. The man denied His Own Daughter. Nothing good he has done makes up for that in the family's eyes. And I also think that a lot of the fond recall of Strom stems only from the fact that next to Jesse Helms, ANYONE would look good.

Also: Leni Riefenstahl (sp?), unapologetic Nazi apologist, dead at 101. More proof, were more needed, that only the good die young.

Strom jumped into Normandy leading troops half his age when he clearly could have avoided service, and he paid to support his daughter. IK suspect a lot of daughters would trade "acknowledgement" for a hot meal.

Slight quibble re: Ritter's finest hour. I'd have to nominate "Skin Deep." The glow-in-the-dark condom scene is quite possibly the funniest moment ever committed to celluloid. And you get to see Zap in all her pre-American Gladiators hottness.