Memos to various people
To: Jacques Chirac:
Re: Banning religious wear in schools
Jacques - Enjoy your future assasination. I give it two months until someone tries to stick a knife in your back. Maybe a mental health exam is in order?
Attn: Cardinal Martino
Re: Treatment of Saddam
Get back to me when you can show the same compassion for all the kids raped and molested by your priests.
To: Sen. John Kerry
Re: Your remarks on Howard Dean
Someone named Kettle called for you. Something to do with the word black.
Re: A-Rod Deal
Is this the year you finally get something on my Christmas list right?
To: George Steinbrenner
See, Festivus. You're first on my list, George.
Re: Telling kids thier mommies are murderers
If you ever approach one of my children with your propaganda, I will personally see to it that you are brought to a meat farm, killed, dismembered, ground up into pieces and sold to Wendy's to be used as hamburger meat, where you will then be grilled, sold and eaten by a pig farmer.
Then you can tell my kids I am a murdering mommy.
I'll take your memos right here. But don't expect me to make coffee.