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sometimes a bracelet is just a bracelet

It started a few weeks ago with Oprah. My mother called me in a panic. "It was on Oprah! Those bracelets your daughter is wearing? They have sexual meaning!"

Deep sigh.

My mother believes all this stuff. She sends me fowards with scare stories that have were debunked by Snopes years ago. I have to explain to her over and over again that my kids will not die from eating Pop Rocks and there will not be a man with one leg, a hook arm and a bottle of chloroform waiting in the back of my car in the mall parking lot.

Yes, my daughter wears about fifty jelly bracelets up and down her arms every day. Most of them are black, as she is in that goth phase.

Supposedly, this is what the bracelet colors stand for:

  • yellow: hugging
  • Purple: kissing
  • Red: lap dance
  • Blue: oral sex
  • Black: the full monty.


In a game called Snap, if a boy breaks a jelly bracelet off a girls wrist, he basically gets a sexual coupon for that act.

It's become such a problem in some middle schools in Florida, districts started banning the bracelets.

If your daughter is wearing one of these bracelets, it certainly doesn't mean she's having sex, following through on the Snap game, or even knows about the code.

But experts say it's a good opportunity for you to have that all important conversation about sex, what you think is acceptable, and best for your family.

Yes, wait until your child comes home wearing some urban legend on her wrist before you have that all important conversation with her. This stuff is going on mostly in middle schools. If you haven't had the sex talk with your kid by then, you may as well start purchasing condoms in bulk now.

I asked the daughter about the bracelet color code. She never heard of such a thing. She checked with friends who go to different school and none of them heard of it. In fact, most of them laughed and thought it was the dumbest thing they ever heard.

The real danger here is not in letting your child wear five-for-a-dollar rubber bracelets; it's in believing every rumor that comes out of the mill, ever teenage sex urban legend that comes through in an email. If you start giving credence to every Oprah manufactured, forwarded 100 times warning about what your kid is wearing, listening to, watching, eating, reading, or even thinking about, you will start to view your teen as as a sexually active, satan worshipping, drug taking rebel. And maybe he or she is. But you're not going to find that out from looking at some checklist that says if your kid is tired he must be using heroin, and you're not going to find it out from looking at your daughter's jewelry.

I trust my daughter. I trust that when I look at the twenty black jelly bracelets running up and down her arms that she hasn't had sex twenty times. Or even one time. I trust my daughter enough to laugh at Oprah and Dr. Phil and all the other "experts" who want to scare you into thinking your child is the devil's spawn. What I don't trust is a school admistrator who would immediately ban the wearing of jelly bracelets upon hearing this rumor without looking into it or talking to the students about it. Open communication is the key to raising kids we can trust. That goes for the people who run the schools as well as parents.

Perhaps the reason that kids as young as eight are talking about the "sex bracelets" and referring to the code of color is because the adults keep talking about them and the news is talking about them and yes, the grownups are giving the legend the snowball effect.

Today, it's bracelets. Years ago, it was "sex coupons." Months from now it will be text message codes or the color of your hat and what kind of notebook you have. If you stop building the myths, they will stop creating them.

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Listed below are links to weblogs that reference sometimes a bracelet is just a bracelet:

» FOMP from Bloviating Inanities
Something Michele's husband would never say... And it looks like her daughter's a chip off the old block. [Read More]

» "Snap" - Fun for all ages! from Graphictruth
My, wouldn't that have simplified all our teenage years? Just wear a bracelet that says "yes" or "no" and one could simply skip all the angst and drama? [Read More]

Comments

That's the kind of crap that I get to deal with here at work, as an email admin. I filter out all sorts of bullshit messages. Virus scares, "Through a rapist's eyes", poison perfume samples, the crying baby, the Lotus Totus, blah blah blah.

Won't even mention the 620,000 versions of the Nigerian 419 scam. Oops, guess I did mention it.

So, what does the plethora of odd bracelets my daughter wears (including the outer ring from a Band-Aid tape roll) signify?

On second thought... I don't wanna know...

Then again Snoops.com hasnt determined if it urban myth or not. I say ban them to protect the innocent. This should be a top priority for our political leaders...ha

How about a RAINBOW bracelet, with all of the colors...?

And hey - Michele - you promised a link-a-day in the voting! Just one more, pretty please with "Sister Christian" on top!

When middle schoolers start using hanky codes, then I'll start worrying.

"Perhaps the reason that kids as young as eight are talking about the "sex bracelets" and referring to the code of color is because the adults keep talking about them and the news is talking about them and yes, the grownups are giving the legend the snowball effect."

Hear hear! One our our local "news" programs in Dallas had a sensationalized lead-in on this subject to get parents to watch the 10:00 news cast last night. Sometimes, I watch the news to see how they actually handle the story after a build-up ad campaign during the evening.

Last night, however... Click!

There's coupons? Are there places that double them?

Text message codes? Hmm, that was last year actually. My local news ran a story on it. I couldn't stop laughing, it was hilarious how hard they tried to work it up. Now I'm sitting at work and my cell phone is getting messages from the server that just went down...so now the servers trying to seduce me?

Thats just cool

this is really nothing new.

When I was in junior high and high school, those add-a-bead necklaces were all the rage, until the rumor got around that each bead on a girl's necklace represented a time she had had sex, and the different colored/different stone ones represented with different boys.

actually, it was quite funny, because it was still a time and a place where we were puritanical enough to snicker behind our hands (and be REALLY disgusted) at the thought of one of our fellow thirteen year olds having sex, and it turned out it was mostly the rich snooty upper-class girls who had those necklaces.

and- the first time the rubber bracelets were popular, my brother even wore a few. And they were black ones. Hmmmm...

Spoken like a GREAT Mom! I asked my little goth girlie and she laughed and rolled her eyes.
I love the goth kids, they look so scarey and most of them at complete softies, especially when treated with respect.

My favorite insane suburban parental warning came back when I was in the 5th grade, and it went a little something like this:

"They're putting LSD in your kids' scratch-and-sniff stickers!!!"

That might explain why that year was a blur.

Well said! Props to you.

I agree. The media did the same thing with "Gangs" in the late 80's. Every nickel-and-dime street punk suddenly was either a "Crip" or a "Blood". I grew up in an urban area with lots of small territorial latino "gangs" until this crap happened. Once the larger affiliation was sought, the violence and drug trafficing went through the roof. How useful and productive for our society. Thank you Journalism. A free press is really only free if you happen to own or operate the press. For a nice profit, I might add.

The problem is that lots of people are stressed and busy and frequently feel overwhelmed by all their responsibilities. They love their kids but they often don't spend the effort required to really communicate with them. Consciously or subconsciously, they aware of this and as a result they're easy prey for fear-mongering by media outlets. It is a two-way street - the media outlets wouldn't be doing it if people didn't respond.

The only solution would be for people to do the tough work of communicating with their kids in a meaningful way. That mostly involves being real, which shouldn't be that difficult but nevertheless is for a large number of folks. They're afraid of the consequences of being real, when they really ought to be afraid of the frequently disastrous consequences of not being real with their kids.

OH. MY. GAWD.

my kids are SEX maniacs!

::snicker::

Wait a sec, you mean to tell there's women out there saying Oprah is WRONG!?!?!? I thought you all heeded her advice like she brought it down from the mountain written on stone tablets.

What has this world come to when you can't even trust Oprah to tell you if your kids are out getting their freak on in school over some cheap rubber bracelets?

My daughter went through the plastic bracelet thing last year. They are bracelets, nothing else.

It's stories like these that cause our kids to look at us like we've grown an extra head. Geez.

Oh god, now they'll come for you too via google.
I posted about this here - and eventually had to shut off the comments there because all sorts of kiddies were dropping by to "share" things with me or show off their name calling ability. I deleted some of the more scummy color responses.

And I care not, I still wear my jelly bracelets. Harumph.

My Niece, Jessica, has almost every NKOTB doodad and trinket, I wonder what that would have signified back then? Now, I told her to sell on ebay and don't look back.

Sex in a bracelet?

Accutally, at my school there are at least 20 girls (and guys) I know who play Snaps regularly, but only mostly their little group knows about it. Most of the other kids really just see bracelets. Parents need to realize that not all teens are hormonal monsters.

I get sooo sick of hearing "Oh this bracelets stand for a sex game." Nonescince,I'm a 15 year old teen guy and I wear about eighty of them everyday. Yes I wear the bracelets and yes I know all about the game of "snap". But I don't acually play the game. Even my mom who is a high school teacher thinks all this hyp about jelly bracelets is silly. So if your teen starts wearing Jell-O bracelets don't worry. It does not mean they are sexually active.

I'm 15 and I've heard of the game "SNAP" but I've never played. I think everyone is making a big deal about it. If someone is stupid enough to play this game than thats their deal... so its their bad judgement if they choose to play that stupid game...It just shows their stupidity...

Jelly Bracelets in Ocala Florida:
Okay, I am the middle school teacher that started the "whole" thing. West Port Middle School in Marion County, last year, 6th grade. I told Sue Mosely about the bracelots, in fact I gave her the "worst" one, happened to be a black one. The bracelets were very disruptive in the classroom. I banned them from my classroom. One student in particular had about 100 on her wrists and was malled at the water fountain. I had an 8th grade daughter at the time. The bracelets meant nothing to her.

It was simply a fleeting fad.

The rainbow bracelet, according to my 6th grade sources, means that the "breaker" get to ask for their choice!

hey i think that that is kool i ges

I'm a fifteen year old in Indiana. I used to wear the bracelets, but gave them up after a while, because you have to take them all off when you wash your hands, or else they get wet and stay wet. Mostly people who wear the bracelets in my school are seen as behind the times. Most people have moved on to new fads, and the people still wearing them are very highly unlikely to be having sex, trust me. No one in my school had even heard of the color code untill it came out on Oprah anyways. I'm sure that now that it has, some kids play snap. Teens who want to rebel do what they think you don't want them to. If you make a big deal about snap, then they will be most interested in trying it.

omg they are just bracelets come on!!!!!!!

omg they are just bracelets come on!!!!!!!

I THINK THE WHOLE SEX BRACELET THING IS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. HALF OF THE TIME WHEN CHILDREN BUY THE BARACELETS,THEY DO PLAY SNAPS,THEY DONT GO AND ACTUALLY DO WHAT THE COLOR CODES SAYS. I ACTUALLY HAVE A FEW NOW. ME AND OTHER FRIENDS JUS THINK OF THEM AS KIDDY BRACELETS.

ok like i said they r juss bracelets idk who would actually do what the bracelets say but who ever does thats their own business!!!!Our school band them wich i think it really dumb if we get caught with them then we get them thrown away n suspended for 1 day all that trouble over a silly bracelete i know tons of peeps at my school who juss wear them to match their clothes!!!! THINK ABOUT IT THERE BRACELETS COME ON PEOPLE COMMON SENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!

im am a 13 1/2 year old that under stands this whole code thing. its kind of dumb actually. i mean its just a bracelet o so you think. the real cllue unless they are in some type of group is the fact that they wear one paticular color. like most at my scool wear pink ( the 69) or black. and this is a smart school we are talking bout here . but i think its all silly if you hAVE TO BREAK A BRACELET TO HAVE SEX WHATS NEXT? and that whole oprah thing is silly to i think shes juat jelouse becouse no one really whants her eccept for her money

so yeah.. jelly bracelets and hiden meanings.. wtf.. this is just some silly human stupidity that kids made up.. and these things get people hurt.. this so called sex game was big at very few of the raves i went to.... and i wear these bracelets hardcore.. sum guy broke so many of my black and purple bracelets it wasn't funny.. i didn't know they were supposed to mean anything.. but this guy kept coming on to me and by the end of the night this guy left beaten to a bloody pulp thanks to my best friend.. later i went searching for the so called meanings of the colors that i wear ( i like to know wot i'm suppposively representing).. and it's just made up bs.. no two meanings are the same... i went to maybe ten sights and this is wot i came up with

black sex
blue oral
white hug /white flash tits
pink kiss /pink eat out /pink passion
orange make out /orange dry sex
red lap dance
yellow flash /yellow make out
clear wotever breaker wants /clear sex in water
glow in the dark sex toys
light blue masturbate
purple finger /purple 3 sum /purple kiss
clear glitter sex with porn
green play with clit /green oral
silver feel up
gold suck on any part of body
brown up the azz

now if anyone really got laid becos of this bravo your either an idiot, or you like to f**k..

but these bracelets no have a bad name and some are banned in certain places.. that is so dumb.. all this happened becos of human stupidity..

Raver Goil

Okay, so I only skimmed the message, but I do have a few comments. First off this whole "goth stage" is nothing more than your child trying out something new. I personally have no "scene," or stereotype, though most people call me goth or psycho. (But that's beside the point.) Let the girl do what she wants, as long as she doesn't get killed, raped, arrested, or beaten into a comma by steel pipe weilded by crack adicta.

Part B, colour code the bracelets, make them into sandwitches, or use them as firewood in a powerout, it doesn't matter. They just bracelets! It's how you percieve them. Maybe yellow is a hug, or maybe it is to get pushed off a building. Maybe blue is to wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. Maybe if you wear red, I'll show you just how deep the rabbit hole really goes. Point put simple: you see yellow, think hug; I see yellow, think kiss. Get it?

Part C, live and learn. "A leader is never truly a leader until he or she has failed." You may have made a mistake on a spelling test in kindergarden, so you decided to never fail again, right? I don't know why people are so stupid, never realizing that every time they put their hand on the buring stove that that is why their hand hurts, but it sickens me. Yet also those who think everyone is as religious as him or herself annoy me, though at least they have the common curtiocy to give someone the time of day. (But I must say, they can't really accept much of the truth, or some possibilities. If anyone is offended, I deeply appologize, but I speak what I see, I see what I hear, and I hear what I speak.)

Conclusion: Don't worry about it. Just let your child be him or herself and enjoy the moments, without ruining the life of your son or daughter. Now if he or she comes home with a condom on his or her head, then maybe it's time to start asking questions. Such as, "What in the Maker's name are you doing with latex on your head?!" (If you find that they're gay, bisexual, or lesbian, just let them be that way, but still, don't let 'em mate yet. And if you're offended by gay/bi/lesbian people, I don't give a damn!! Frankly, I'm bi myself.)

[END TRANSMISSION]

they are just bracelets why dont u just let u wear them it is not bad if u look at them that way

they are just bracelets why dont u just let u wear them it is not bad if u look at them that way

Ill tell u what they meen but u may be sick after

Black-Sexual Intercourse
Blue-Lap Dance
Green-OutdoorSex,Hug
Clear-Whatever
Orange-Kiss
Yellow-Hug
Red-Lap Dance,French Kiss,Oral Sex
Purple-Holding Hands
White-Flash Your Tits,Gay Kiss,French Kiss
Pink-Flashing
Gold Glitter-Make Out
Brown-(Toss my salad)
Glow in the Dark-Useing Sex Toys

Ill tell u what Jelly Braclets REALY stand for!

Black-Sexual Intercourse
Blue-Lap Dance
Green-OutdoorSex,Hug
Clear-Whatever
Orange-Kiss
Yellow-Hug
Red-Lap Dance,French Kiss,Oral Sex
Purple-Holding Hands
White-Flash Your Tits,Gay Kiss,French Kiss
Pink-Flashing
Gold Glitter-Make Out
Brown-(Toss my salad)
Glow in the Dark-Useing Sex Toys

Ill tell u what Jelly Braclets REALY stand for!

Black-Sexual Intercourse
Blue-Lap Dance
Green-OutdoorSex,Hug
Clear-Whatever
Orange-Kiss
Yellow-Hug
Red-Lap Dance,French Kiss,Oral Sex
Purple-Holding Hands
White-Flash Your Tits,Gay Kiss,French Kiss
Pink-Flashing
Gold Glitter-Make Out
Brown-(Toss my salad)
Glow in the Dark-Useing Sex Toys

Ill tell u what Jelly Braclets REALY stand for!

Black-Sexual Intercourse
Blue-Lap Dance
Green-OutdoorSex,Hug
Clear-Whatever
Orange-Kiss
Yellow-Hug
Red-Lap Dance,French Kiss,Oral Sex
Purple-Holding Hands
White-Flash Your Tits,Gay Kiss,French Kiss
Pink-Flashing
Gold Glitter-Make Out
Brown-(Toss my salad)
Glow in the Dark-Useing Sex Toys

ok ppl here is the REAL! code

black: sex
blue: oral
red: lap dance
purple: holding hands
brown: toss my dalad
pink: flash
clear: whatever
white: wildcard
green: outdoor sex
gold: makeout
glow in the dark: using sex toys
orange: just kissing
yellow: hug
gray: anal sex
mixed colors: both colors put together
tan: necking
69 position: whatever the colors say plus 69
pinkish purple: masterbating for the person
silver: fisting

hi im jw what all the colors mean for these jelly braclets all of the including glitter ones there kinda clearish and glittery

i loved the info yall gave me!!!!!!!!