today's gaming talk
Today's gaming topic will be Worst Video Game Ever, thanks to a suggestion by Dodd. I suppose Most Disappointing Game would fit the topic just the same.
For this one we will include everything: coin-ops, PC games, and the new stuff as well as old school.
Nominations in the comments, please.
My first nominee is below.

Comments
Uhhh... I got nothing, good luck finding something so bad that it can compete with that.
Posted by: Ryan Frank | December 11, 2003 09:12 AM
ET for the Atari 2600.
Posted by: Chris | December 11, 2003 09:14 AM
Duh! Maybe next time I'll read the entire post before I comment. OK - 2nd choice - Pacman for the 2600.
Posted by: Chris | December 11, 2003 09:15 AM
I hate that you made me admit I know this, but:
"Mary-Kate & Ashley Crush Course "
Posted by: Michael Demmons | December 11, 2003 09:18 AM
Cheese Chase
Posted by: Matt | December 11, 2003 09:44 AM
The latest disappointing game (probably not the worst of all time) I acquired was Contra: Shattered Soldier.
Why disappointing? Well, I was so hooked on the original Contra game for NES. Up up down down left right left right B A B A start.
Then comes this el stinko version for the PS2, with graphics that look like they're still for the NES, lousy gameplay, and really annoying cutscenes.
So I thought to myself: hey, maybe if I play it with some cheat codes it will be fun.
Wrong. Even in invincible mode I couldn't wait to turn it off.
Posted by: Jon | December 11, 2003 10:15 AM
I just recently completed a PC game called Chaser that was basically "Total Recall" without Arnold. I'm telling you, I'm a dirtier person for having played it.
But, boy, ET is tough to beat. Come out swinging why don't you.
Posted by: Ryan | December 11, 2003 10:18 AM
From my experience, that award should go to the game B-1 Nuclear Bomber by Avalon Hill.
http://free-game-downloads.mosw.com/abandonware/pc/strategy_games/games_b/b_1_nuclear_bomber.html
(for some reason, your comments box refuses to let me leave active links - sigh)
Anyway, I'm sure you can imagine the thrill of a text-based flight simulator.
Or not.
Posted by: andy | December 11, 2003 10:19 AM
As a big fan of Transformers growing up, I was excited when they announced the game for the PS2 ... oh my, what a disaster. Apparently I missed all the episodes where they started doing ninja kicks.
Posted by: Billy | December 11, 2003 10:23 AM
ET. Oh yeah... Worst.Game.Ever
Posted by: elgato | December 11, 2003 10:26 AM
The Friday the 13th game. Just terrible, but I still own it...
Posted by: Christine | December 11, 2003 10:31 AM
Riven, the sequel to Myst. The expectations were so high, the play so lame. Whole lotta disk-swappin' goin' on, too, which killed what little momentum you could build up.
Posted by: Lileks | December 11, 2003 10:48 AM
Agh! Leave it to Lileks to bring up Myst! I had that freakin' game for Sega Saturn (yes, remember Sega Saturn?). The game intrigued me for about one week, at which point I decided that interactive photographs with creepy background music was somehow more a waste of my time than REAL video games.
Posted by: Ryan | December 11, 2003 10:58 AM
You cannot possibly compare any bad game that ever existed ever in the history of the universe to ET. As long as the game had one single solitary redeeming value, it was light years ahead of ET.
A pointless game with annoying controls, stupid characters, and an overall complete lack of fun.
Good call, Michele. I don't think a worse game has ever been made.
Posted by: Vinny | December 11, 2003 11:05 AM
It's off topic, but Andy Pettitte is a New Yankee no more. He just agreed to a 3 year deal with the Houston Astros.
Thanks Steinbrenner, you jagoff. Why do I see a period like the late 80's and early 90's coming on again?
Posted by: Jay | December 11, 2003 11:11 AM
AWWWW JAMES!!!!!!!
I thought Riven was amazing!
Posted by: Michael Demmons | December 11, 2003 11:14 AM
I still think Raiders of the Lost Ark for Atrai 2600 oughta be in the mix, too.
Posted by: Dodd | December 11, 2003 11:54 AM
Weird Dreams - early '90's game for the ST and Amiga (I think). It had wonderful graphics, but the gameplay sucked rocks.
Most disappointing game ever: Tomb Raider. All the stupid camera angles that meant you couldn't see what the Hell was going on.
Posted by: Simon Jester | December 11, 2003 11:59 AM
"Up up down down left right left right B A B A start."
Holy crap Jon, you just caused one of those "I can't believe I remember that" moments. Although I seem to recall a "select" before the "start," for some reason.
I got nothing for worst game; there are a lot of them out there.
Posted by: Steve Gigl | December 11, 2003 12:10 PM
Up down up down left right left right
B A select start
When I heard it used as a rap lyric, I was left speechless for the rest of the day.
Posted by: Thad | December 11, 2003 12:17 PM
Moonwalker for Sega Genesis. It's, it's, just so horribly wrong.
Posted by: REDUX | December 11, 2003 12:25 PM
Steve,
The select sets up two players ;-)
I play a lot of NES games on pc emulators and can't seem to pull that code off on the Konami games any more. Guess I'm just too old now, or rusty
lol
Posted by: Vinny | December 11, 2003 12:47 PM
No contest.
Ghostbusters for NES.
"You need a beam! You need a beam!"
And there's no way to get one, as far as I can tell.
Posted by: RyMaN600 | December 11, 2003 12:56 PM
Never played it myself, but "Daikatana" is infamous. Any game in which one of the NPC's catchphrases is "Suck on it" has to at least be in the running.
Posted by: scott h. | December 11, 2003 01:18 PM
Clearly, you fortunate souls have never played the Kool-Aid Man game for Mattel's Intellivision or you would all realize it was the worst game in the history of carbon-based life forms. Just thinking about it makes me want to cut off my hand so I can never be reminded of it again.
Posted by: Cyranno | December 11, 2003 01:58 PM
Most Disappointing Game:
Harpoon 4
been waiting for that game for 5 freakin' years...
was supposed to be finished in Spring of '04
UbiSoft cancelled it about 3 weeks ago.
Posted by: Rob | December 11, 2003 02:01 PM
Gotta disagree on Raiders Dodd. I always liked that game - although the controls were very flakey.
Posted by: Chris | December 11, 2003 02:02 PM
Custer's Revenge
What the hell is wrong with Cyranno's hand that it reminds him of the Kool-Aid Man?
Posted by: Sean E | December 11, 2003 02:23 PM
"The Adventures of Dino-Riki" for the NES. Bad graphics, horrible, horrible controls for jumping combined with a ridiculously small margin of error for your jumps, and only four levels, after which the game loops back on itself. Not to mention that I've only ever seen one person who could actually make it past the first jump in the first level.
Posted by: Kenneth | December 11, 2003 02:23 PM
The Smurfs - Rescue in Gargamel's Castle for Coleco.
Others mentioned above that I agree with as contenders include the awful MoonWalker and KoolAid man.
Posted by: Ryan | December 11, 2003 02:43 PM
Oh, let's see:
Burger Time for the 2600
Worst video game I ever recieved.
Oh, and Space Shuttle. Stupid, stupid, stupid and boring.
Posted by: Joseph J. Finn | December 11, 2003 02:58 PM
Boulders and Bombs for Atari 8-bit: this review calls it "quite an original and fun game to play". Well, it certainly opened new vistas of tedium and frustration. It was like a cross between Dig Dug and that dream where the train is about to hit you and you can't move your legs, played at board-game speed. Move the joystick in a circle to drop a bomb. Wow.
I picked up a copy for $7 at some closeout, and called it a bad deal. This was when you could spend $50 for pac-man on the 2600. Then my cheap chump of a friend got me another copy as a birthday present, at the same closeout. What a life.
Here's a picture of the cartridge. Believe me, a picture of the cartridge is a lot more fun than the game.
Posted by: dipnut | December 11, 2003 05:27 PM
My votes:
ET: the game that almost killed the console industry single handedly. It brought about the downfall of Atari and opened the door for the asian invasion of the next decade. http://www.snopes.com/business/market/atari.asp
Diakatana: Tens of millions of dollars, close to five years in development and in the end a terrible cluster f$%@ that cost some friends of mine their jobs. Good going Romero. Suck it.
WW2 Online: I was working on a company that had an online game in development at the time. We picked up a copy of this miserable bug ridden unplayable mess and spent the rest of the week laughing at it. What's best is that this was suscription based. Gotta love it.
Posted by: G. Bob | December 11, 2003 06:57 PM
DOH!
Scott beat me to it.
Dai-Katana. Easily the most over-hyped and under-fun game of all time. Laying this big dog turd cost Romero his career.
D
Posted by: Doccus | December 11, 2003 07:50 PM
ET, definitely. Although the Kool Aid Man is a close second. Thanks for the memories.
Posted by: Shelby | December 11, 2003 07:54 PM
Redneck Rampage (esp the Mac conversion) what a total load of shite that was...
Posted by: Andrew Ian Dodge | December 12, 2003 09:07 AM