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a sad, sad christmas story

You watch your Christmas favorite movies over and over again. No matter how the movies (and you) age, you still drag them out every year because they are part of your holiday tradition. You connect with the characters. They are like family, like friends you grew up with. And then, one day, you discover that those cherubic, goofy child stars have grown up. They have gone to other things, leaving the days of cute smiles and family movies behind them. They....they....

Oh Flick....why? Why have you gone and become a porn star? My whole Christmas world has just come crashing down. How can I enjoy 24 hours of A Christmas story knowing that good old Flick is now a porn star. Your tongue was not meant for such dirty things, Flick! Sigh. At least he's hanging with Ron Jeremy. Flick's (Scott Schwartz) acting credential got him a part in a top notch porn movie instead of being the jizzmopper for some amateur outfit.

I will never be able to watch that scene in quite the same way again. No, I'll be having horrible thoughts about Dirty Bob's Xcellent Adventures #35.

I feel so betrayed.


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Why do you think they called him Flick?

Indeed, and the line "maha ungha mmmmaaah" sort of become a trademark that he was able to use throughout his career.

Makes sense - after all, his first role was as Master Bates.

You're just now learning this? Where ya' been girl? ;-)

Maybe I heard it and I tried to block it out. But now your husband is trying to tell me that Ralphie is gay!

Aggghh! Why did you tell me that?

And Darth Vader is Luke's father.

would it surprise you to know that I saw Scotty Schwartz's porn movie before I ever saw "A Christmas Story"? he got to fuck Juli Ashton!

and did you know that the son of one of the Smothers Brothers is currently a porn star? serious - his name is Dick Smothers Jr. needless to say, the elder Smothers are none too pleased.

For all your porn-related updates, consult our resident expert: mikey. Your source for all pornographic knowledge tidbits.

Just did a not-allowed-at-work-but-I-did-it-anyway seach on Juli Ashton. Wow! She's totally fuckable. As luck would have it, so am I. Come to me, Juli, for we are meant to copulate.

I'm with Rita. We could have very easily done without that information!

Actually, it does seem vaguely familiar. I probably heard it somewhere along the way and blocked it out as well...

Next thing you're going to be telling me that there is no Santa Claus.

Something is broken inside me now.

Ralphie's gay??????

Was it....soap...poisoning that did it?

Hah, trish. But I think it was.....Flick!

Why is it that in the porn business, everyone's a "star?" You never hear of porn co-stars, porn cameos, or walk-on parts in porn movies, even if the porn movie actually depicts people being walked on.

You were right, must have been the soap.


Too bad, it still is my favorite Christmas movie.

Ooh ooh... it brings new meaning to the line:

"You'll shoot your eye out"