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there can be only one

A naked, samurai sword-wielding martial arts expert screaming, "I'm God! I'm immortal!" hacked his wife to death yesterday in a blood-soaked Bronx rampage, police said.

Cops were able to confirm that the man was not, much to his chagrin, God. God was unavailable for comment.

And, laying the blame on The Last Samurai begins in 3...2....1...

You know how wrong they will be when they lay the blame on a Tom Cruise movie, don't you? It will be an outrage. The guy in question was clearly watching Highlander before his rampage.

Not to worry. I hear Joe Lieberman is on the case already.


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The man has already sold the movie rights to his story, stipulating that Queen must provide the soundtrack....

here's the Fark headline when the story is posted this afternoon:

"I'm immortal" says naked sword-wielding maniac, "No, you aren't" says NYPD

I just laid the blame on the movie, as sarcastically as possible. I'll wait for Bill Bennett and Joe Lieberman to do it seriously.

there can be only one.

hm. is it obvious that i don't read the titles of your posts? d'oh!

Watch Joe lay it on Harry Potter.

I thought Bill Clinton's VChip TVs and ratings guidelines were supposed to prevent this kind of thing?

You mean to tell me a government program to alter human behavior and keep us from killing each other DIDNT WORK! NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!

What is obviously needed is common-sense sword laws.

Some idiot tried that in Oz a few years ago. He didn't kill anyone however.

My favorite line from the article is the last one: "'My brother was a wonderful person; he just had some emotional problems that we're still trying to sort out,' Nicole Forbes said." Errr.... no.

A close #2 would have to be:

According to an initial investigation, Kelly added, "It looks like the shooting was justified."

No more laws, then I will have to get a "concealed carry permit" for my broadsword.

Was this sponsored by Ginsu?

When samurai swords are outlawed only outlaws will have samurai swords?

Well, the guy's still alive....I guess we'll see how right he was--he was hit several times, after all.

Of course, I for one, will be severely disappointed if it turns out that God is a stocky sword nut from the Bronx. Disappointed, but not really surprised.

"About 5:15 a.m., the two cops knocked on the door and were greeted by the blood-stained, naked swordsman, police said."

Is anyone else bothered by the notion that if you call 911 about a naked, sword wielding madman who has hacked body parts off his wife already, the best you can hope for is 2 officers to respond? I hope either I missed, or the writer neglected to mention, the part that backup was readily available...