thanksgiving advice(3): more football and death by Jack Daniels
Sean asks: Who will win the Packers/Lions game?
I once again consulted the all-knowing, never wrong Ouija Board, which said:
TRANGER. There you have it.
Hi Michele. Usually family holidays when everyone is actually together in our extended-family home (Mom and Stepdad, Sis and her brood, and fesity me) are the most tense, since it's during days like Thanksgiving that everyone is actually with everyone else.
What is the polite thing to do when the unavoidable Massive Family Conflict™ over the dinner table that ends in "Fine!" "Fine!" happens? Does everyone silently stuff their faces? Or does everyone go their separate ways to the Thanksgiving Party that each person's friends invited them to? (Sister gets to stay at her house with her nest.)
I feel your pain, Jay. I have a sister who has perfected the "Fine!" routine. She even adds an "Phhft!" to it once in a while and storms off into another room, where she proceeds to ignore us all.
There's an easy solution to this, Jay. Just place a big bottle of Jack Daniels in the middle of the table. Give everyone, even the kids, a shot glass. Everytime someone starts a fight, everyone take a shot of Jack. Within an hour you'll all be too drunk to care about fighting anymore, or you'll have all died from alcohol poisoning. Either way, the fighting is over.