willy wonka meets the soft drink industry: in which i review a soft drink
Remember the scene in Willy Wonka when Violet turns Violet? She was eating that little piece of candy that was supposed to contain all the elements of a nutritious dinner, with the added bonus of being able to actually taste all those components.
You thought that was just fiction, right? You laughed at Violet and you laughed at Wonka, but meanwhile you were thinking, man, if that shit was real I would never have to make another meal again! But it is real! As long as you don't mind having dessert - specifically apple pie - for every meal, that is.
Snapple has brought the Wonka dream to reality. Snapple Pie is a a drink that looks pretty much like a thick lemonade but tastes like - ready for this? - apple pie! Not just the apple part of the apple pie, but the cinnamon and the vanilla and, my god, you can even taste the crust! It's like Thanksgiving in every sip.
The problem is, you'll only want one or two sips. I don't know anyone (save for my husband) who can drink an entire bottle. It may only be 16 ounces of soft drink, but your stomach would think you just ate two very large apple pies.
So, what do you do with a drink that has all these great qualities but is just too much to handle? Simple, you make another drink out of it. With alcohol. Because everything is better with alcohol.
Just take one bottle of Snapple Pie, one shot of Triple Sec, about three shots of Captain Morgan Rum, throw it all in a blender with a whole bunch of ice and let it whirr a little while until it's all smooth. Presenting: a new trend in drinks!
Guess what we're serving up at Thanskgiving dinner? You Manhattan metrosexual socialites can have your trendy green apple martinis. I'll be consuming a bit of that Captain Morgan's Apple Willy.
Great name, eh?
[*In the interest of fairness, I should admit that this post has been edited from its original content to reflect the fact that I'm an idiot and spelled Willy as Willie.]