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Up all night long And there’s something very wrong*

Only I could do physical damage to myself in my sleep. I woke up at about 4 this morning with a pain in my knee. I tried to get out of the bed and realized in a very painful way that I could not bend my leg without stars forming in front of my eyes.

Maybe I slept with my knee crooked. Maybe my husband kicked me in his sleep. The odd thing is, I had a dream that I was running from something and I fell and hurt my knee.

tsalien.jpgConsidering that I have displayed all the tell tale signs over the course of several years (lucid dreaming, sleep paralysis, hypnagogic dreams, audio hallucinations), I've come to the conclusion that I'm being abducted by aliens while I sleep.

Now, this is all well and good. I really don't mind. But what I want to know is, if I wake up with an injury such as I did today, who do I complain to? I wonder if aliens have lawyers?

And this all leads to an even bigger problem. If I've been spending my nights with a bunch of aliens, wouldn't it only be right if I got them Christmas presents? Or do you think I should just give them a card? I'm not really sure of the protocol for this and honestly, I don't know what in the world to give an alien as a gift anyhow.

I guess a painful knee injury isn't so bad when you think about it. I could be in a much worse situation here.



The real proof of aliens comes not from South Park or Blink 182, but from one of my all-time favorite rock & roll bands - The Groovie Ghoulies. I mean, in their album "World Contact Day", they did nothing less than save our planet from alien annihilation as retribution for all the crappy rock & roll we've been beaming out into space. ;-)

So Michele, to commemorate your alien experience, here are the lyrics to 50,000 Spaceships Watching Over Me:

I'm walking down the street sometimes late at night
Strollin' through the woods in the broad daylight
But everywhere I go
No matter what I see
50, 000 spaceships are watching over me
I hopped aboard a boat
Or ride an aeroplane
I hijacked me a bus
Or rob me a freight train
But up there in the sky
No matter what I see
50, 000 spaceships are watching over me
Watch me now
I'm walkin down the street sometimes late at night
Yeah I'm strollin' through the woods in the broad daylight
But everywhere I go
No matter what I see
50, 000 spaceships are watching over me
50, 000 spaceships are watching over me
50, 000 spaceships are watching over me

Forgot to say - hope the leg feels better soon.

Uh, I believe the last time I made fun of someone getting old coughBillcough, I immediately fell down in the shower and couldn't get up. So, I'll stay away from the "old lady" theory and go with aliens. Yep. Aliens.

Michele, were you probed? Inquiring minds want to know.

Let me at those alien lawyers! I'm on a roll this week.

You know...This sounds kinda weird but I have had the same problems. Sometimes I try to wake up and I can get my eyes 1/4 the way open...I think I see someone standing infront of me, but I can never realy see. Kinda weird if you ask me, but oh well...something weird is going on. Hope the knee feels better :)

The unimiiiiiiind!!

We are ooooooone!!

Like the LGM's picture. Reminds me of my three-year-old's current obsession with everything that is Buzz Lightyear.


Just hope that the LGM's are the type of aliens that abduct you, rather than something from Alien or Independence Day.

I do think you should get them a gift, Michele. It's only right. The problem for you will be how to get it to them. Don't worry about it, because I've got you covered. I happen to have a super secret way to get in touch with the aliens, so just give me the gift, and I'll see that they get it. Mostly, they like money, Amazon.com gift certificates, or anything off my wish list. I'm glad to help out. :)

I hope your knee feels better soon.

Never send space aliens cards or gifts. If you do they will all answer, because of the alien mind-meld, you'll get forty-leven bazillion cards next Christmas. Your Postal Carrier will hate you. Worse, you know how testy those space aliens get if you don't answer each card again next year.

I think Peter's advice is good. Besides, what do you get for the alien who has everything? After all, if they didn't already have everything an alien could want what are they doing dorking around on Earth instead of doing something productive?

Michele may be able now to answer an important scientific question. Do the aliens have sheepskin covers for the control seats of their flying saucers?