getting medieval on the pharmacist's ass
So what have I been doing with my time? Well, I just spent a half hour at the drugstore. The scenario went something like this:
I'd like to pick up my prescription. (I give her my name, she hands me the prescription).
Uhh...this is wrong. They were supposed to call in the Paxil, not Wellbutrin.
But you take Wellbutrin, right?
You can take these, then.
But I need my Paxil.
Ok, the doctor's office screwed up. We'll call them tomorrow.
There is no tomorrow. I need my Paxil for the morning. I am all out.
(She confers with pharmacist. Pharmacist comes out to greet me)
Won't you need these Wellbutrin eventually?
Yes, but that's not the point. I need my Paxil.
(She calls my Dr.'s office. Dr. isn't in, she speaks to "some lady")
They said you're allergic to Paxil. You're not supposed to take it.
No. I am allergic to Wellbutrin.
The doctor says Paxil.
I think I know which med gave me hives. I've been taking Paxil for over a year. I'm not allergic to it.
Well, the lady said not to give you Paxil.
The lady doesn't know anything worth knowing. Give. Me. My. Paxil.
No can do. The woman said to stop taking it.
You can't just stop taking Paxil. It's just not allowed.
At this point, I've had enough. I pull out my machine gun and order everyone to the floor.
Any of you fuckin' pricks move and I'll execute every one of you motherfuckers! Nobody moves.
Now give me my Paxil. A lifetime supply! And umm...one of those orange marshmallow turkeys. Oooh, and some of that Burt's hand lotion. And chapstick, I definitely need chapstick. And..no, no need for condoms. Some of that herbal tea. That's right, just put everything in the bag and no one gets hurt. And don't forget the orange marshmallow turkeys!
Well, that's not exactly how it went, but I did walk out of there with a full prescription of Paxil.