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texas is the reason

Everybody's talking about JFK as we approach the 40th anniversary of his death.

I don't have a story to share, as I was only a year old at the time and I was probably more concerned with a wet diaper than a Texas motorcade.

Well, I do have a story. I'm sure it will offend some people, but I guess that was the purpose of the whole thing anyhow.

It was 1983. I was working in a record store, which just happened to be one of the busiest record stores in New York, in one of the busiest malls in New York, at the beginning of the Christmas shopping season.

So, here we were on the anniversary of Kennedy's assasination and one of my co-workers remarked that, unlike most days of rememberance in the U.S., no one had yet declared Kennedy Assasination Day to be a holiday of sorts; the kind where you see store-wide sales and clearance items going for bargain prices! I mean, how would one advertise such a thing? Come to the JFK Clearance Sale, where you'll get more bang for your bucks!

And then Mike, who was known for his dark, dark sense of humor, had an idea of how we could combine the death of JFK with the start of the Christmas shopping season - a way to commerate Kennedy but bring the customers in as well.

So we put up a Dead Kennedys display on the carousel in front of the store. I think there were only two albums and an EP at the time, but we got as many copies as the store had in stock and put them up front. The carousel was just a few feet from the wide front door of the store, which people traveling through the mall passed by all day long.

Needless to say, the display was down within twenty minutes and we were reprimanded, with big, inky, black spots splattered on our permanent records.

And that is the only Kennedy story I have for you. But it was better than yet another conspiracy theory, right?


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You should have been giving out free albums and cassettes of Foriegner's "Head Games"

I made a music video with the Kennedy footage cut to the beat of "Head Games". Other potentials: "going out of my head, over you"

ok. that's funny!

Speaking of tasteless advertizing, the math club at my college once invited a stats prof who had been an expert witness in the O.J. Simpson case to talk. We thought about putting "FREE O.J.! (and other refreshments)" on our fliers, but thought better of it, as it would have seriously annoyed our speaker. I don't think any students would have noticed it, as there was a big basketball game the same day, and only 6 or so people showed up.

It was pretty cool, as the prof brought actual data from the trial, and talked about analyzing it.

The Dead Kennedys were great. During the time of their popularity, I was usually too drunk to f*ck.

On a very, very dark day for me - this made me laugh like a hyena. I'm a sick man. :)

Thanks, Michele!

I once ran a "Pearl Harbor Day" sale at the campus store I worked at a long, long time ago. Put all Japanese-made calculators on sale. No one noticed.

damn, if that won't fly in new york, of all places, my chances of pulling off something like that in springfield, illinois have been hopelessly crushed.

Michele: just out of curiosity, what record store and what mall? I was doing the same thing not long before that time. Just wondered if we might have crossed paths...mail me if you want to keep it private...

Record World, Roosevelt Field (RF#1), 1983-1987.

Some 20 - 25 years ago, I had a half-hour or so layover at Dallas-Fort Worth airport, so I got off the plane to walk around a bit. I went into a little shop to get a candy bar and noticed the postcard rack. There were a number of postcards "commemerating" the JFK assasination, with an overhead view of Dealy (sp?) Plaza, the School Book Depository building, the grassy knoll, etc. There was even a dashed line from the Depository building to the approximate position of the JFK vehicle. At the time, I thought it was in poor taste, so I didn't buy a card (although I wish I had now). However, in an attempt to make it more "respectful", the card did have a black border around the edge.

Am I bad for laughing really hard, so hard coke squirted from my nose? Because if I am, that was merely hypothetical.

Wow, some people have no sense of humor...I'm sure if Kennedy had lived he would have been a big fan of the Dead Kennedy's.

Sure, we can say that...Just as ok as all the other things that folks say he would or could have done if he'd lived.

I have been reading "Dark Side of Camelot" by that NYTimes hack Seymore Hersh and I have to admit, it is pretty interesting.


"The Dark Side of Camelot" is a masterpiece of Kennedy hatred. I highly recommend it to everyone here. Between it and "A Question of Character" by Richard Powers, you will grow to regret that the shooting of President Kennedy wasn't preceeded by a trial.

I'm so good at making friends. I'm good at funerals, too. If anyone needs a giggle at the interment of a loved one, my rates are very reasonable.

Michele, if you ever get the chance you should head to the shrine of conspiracy theories: the sixth floor museum in Dallas. Right across the street is a little shop that sells all sorts of conspiracy stuff. I think it's even a conspiracy "museum," although it was closed the day we went to the sixth floor.

the sixth floor is creepy. My father-in-law went in and was transfixed. I just thought it was weird to have this special assassination museum. You can even see a camera view of dealy plaza.

I lived in DFW for five years, and every year they would have a special series of articles in the newspaper, even after 35 years. I mean, c'mon people, get over it.

I live within radio-range of Dallas, and a lot of the stations are doing "commemorative" things that allow them to replay old tape. They also have been interviewing anyone they can dig up (literally) who was anywhere near Dealy Plaza. Now, they're onto people who WROTE BOOKS about people who were witnesses, so I guess they ran out of people who actual witnesses that were still alive and/or coherent.

At the risk of sounding like an ahistorical gen-x-er, this is just a bit much. I mean, have a commemoration on the day of his death, but don't troll the nursing homes for former schoolteachers and security guards who say "I heard three shots". It doesn't add anything, really, to our historical understanding of the situation.

and as for Kennedy liking the "Dead Kennedys" if he were alive, wouldn't the band be called something else then? At the very least, they'd have to call themselves the Dead Kennedy, singular.

Brilliant! #1 with a bullet!

You know, Maybe Jack would have liked the Dead Kennedys but Joe would have had them shot.

And Bobby would have dismembered the bodies...

And Ted would have drank to Bobby's success.