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she was only 16....

[click for bigger image]I was perusing this list of the worst album covers ever, and though to myself: gee, which one is more disturbing, Julie's 16th Birthday or Let Me Touch Him?

You know, I would love to sit here and discuss these things, but I have a noon gynecologist appointment. Trust me, I'd much rather sit here and discuss bad album covers. But hey, you guys can discuss it while I'm gone.

Anyhow, I went with Julie's 16th Birthday. They say that every picture tells a story, and I'd say this picture tells a sordid one. But my mind is residing somewhere in the gutter, while yours may not be.

So, tell me, dear readers. Let's get away from all this snipping at each other in the comments and get on with some real entertaining reading. Exactly what is going on in this picture? And which album cover on that site is the most disturbing? Or do you have one of your own to add?

Oh, if you are going to go take a look at the album covers on the site, beware the Orleans cover.

I'l be back later. There's a couple of stirrups and a cold speculum waiting for me.


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» Best Album Covers Ever from chachacha
Following the kerfuffle over Marc's worst album covers ever, I did a quick straw poll of friends, online buddies and co-workers, and we came up with these as the best album covers ever... ...so there you have it. The Beatles,... [Read More]


That album cover may be the skeeviest thing I've ever seen. I said over at Andrew Northup's place that the insinuation I see is that now that she's sixteen, she's too old for him.

He's saying to her: "Yes, that's right, my beer is almost empty and my cigarette is smoked. Be a dear and freshen my drink while I go out and grab a pack of Marbs."


Can we discuss your gynecologist appointment?

And, if so, should we discuss it from the "real man" point of view - like how we all wish would could be a gynecologist?

Or should we discuss it from the "pussified man" point of view - how we empathise with you and are "there with you" during this time?

I could never be a gynecologist. It takes some serious guts to do that job. I mean, could you imagine coming home from a real bad day at the office, and finding your wife all hot and bothered and ready to go? Remember, these people see not only the healthy ones but also the unhealthy ones.


From albums to Doctors in 3 posts not bad. Next up health insurance..

good luck at the doc. and remember never smile during the exam... ha ha ha LOL

Oh, 16th Birthday is by far the most disturbing. He looks like he's trying to get her to go across state lines to get married in Arkansas, while picking up some cheap cigarettes and Stroh's.

"But John, my parents just don't understand!"

"S'alright, little darlin'. I'll take care of you, with my snappy hat and geetar playing."

Frankly, it's more and more disturbing the more I look at it...

Well, there's a conversation that bottomed out quickly.

"There's a couple of stirrups and a cold speculum waiting for me"

Yikes. Good luck with the doctor. (I normally say farewell with a "Have fun!" but I don't think that'll work here.)

My vote is for four insurance salesmen saying "Let me Touch Him"

On the Gyno-
I worked in a restaurant that I liked and thought it would be awesome. I saw the food everyday and soon could not stand the sight of it. Extend that analogy to being a crotch doctor.
That and have noticed how most people are fat and ugly?

Definitely Julies sixteenth birthday. What it says to me is 'now don't cry Julie, it's gonna be ok. Your dad said when you turned sixteen, you're mine. I'll treat ya good.'...lmao

The "Joyce" cover skeeves me out for some reason. I can't put my finger on it. But I never ever ever want to meet that chick.

the only thing I can think of when I see that "16th birthday" cover is that the guy is saying

"h'yuck...time ta make ya a WOMAN! An' I'm the man that ken do it!"

ok, gave in and visited the site.

there will be some minor scarring, that's for sure. What's with that chick and the crystal ball?

that "Joyce" cover looks like one of the stills from "Tootsie." And the fact that "Let Me Touch Him" is sung by the "Minister's Quartet" opens up a whole 'nother can of worms....

I'm glad you chose "Julie's 16th Birthday." I was also torn, but went with "Let Me Touch Him." I'm glad to see 'Julie' get the recognition it deserves.

did they say worst album covers ever. i vote best and Joyce get's my vote for the bestest.

"all the young girls love Joyce, tener young Joyce they say..."

Joyce it's my turn today.

...and by "tener" i mean tender

That has gotta be one of the most ... disturbing images ... I have ever seen.

My mind won't even let me really process it. It gets weirder the more I look at it.

I'm a chick and all - but I want to smack that martyr-little-daddy's-girl smirk off her face...

I'm still trying to figure out if it is possible that Tino could find clothes that are even tighter....

Have to agree about Julie's 16th Birthday, but the cover that really gives me a giggle is that "Country Church" album. Think of someone really dressing that way. Such an . . . eclectic . . . collection of colors.

i have about 400 albums in my back room. i've been going through them lately. I know i can find something equally disturbing among them. Buried in there somewhere is something like Communist People's Ditties from Red China or some such. The Kibbutz festival music cover is odd... nine of the covers are at the 10/22 entry in http://pril.fotopages.com

Obsessive horror pays off...there's a story behind that there album cover, unfortunately. John Bult's touching story of fatherly concern, boozin' and traffic accidents is below:

Well, it's a crowded field, but I have to go with Tino's Por Primera Vez. I'm assuming he's meant to be sexy, and that young girls will sigh over this picture. But he looks about twelve, and he's got his area hanging out there in a most disturbing way.

There's something that creeps me out about the non-background. Did the designers imagine the girls would think, "Oh, yes, Tino, I will have my first time with you in front of this photographer's backdrop, with a crew looking on!" He needs a bed or some hay bales or something.

The runner-up would be Joyce. She looks like Marsha Wallace (Bob Newhart's secretary). Poor thing, no matter how beautiful her voice, she's just going nowhere with that label. She needs to be photographed in soft focus, with a lot of shadow, and no glasses, and a different dress. (That's what I kept thinking as I viewed these covers. These poor people---they have a sucky label. How would I make it better?)

"Julie's Sixteenth Birthday" would've made my Daddy cry.

To be honest, to me, the Orleans cover looks normal, almost a relief. Just your typical '70s album cover. What's the big deal? All yer best '70s albums had nekkid people on them. (WORK WARNING) My sister had this album when she was about 13.

Is there some sort of odd requirement that speculums be cold?

I swear they keep them in the freezer.

Was you doctor dialted to meet you?

OK, I'm a bit late for today's appointment. However, next time:

1)ask MD to run warm water over the metal speculum for a few seconds (and to check its temperature on her/his hand before insertion), or to use a plastic one.

2)ask MD to get protectors for the stirrups

I've got it set as wallpaper. It just gets worse and worse the more you look at it. It's 23:59 on the eve of Julie's 16th. The anticapation on his face. He reeks of stale cigarettes & cheap beer. This is as good as it is going to get and she knows it. It's written all over her face. Dark.

Also note he didn't get her a drink (not even a coke)


That is my Uncle....I like it.


Hey, it was the 80's it was inexpensive, so what is he thinks that Julie's hot for being 16. So what if Julie's his daughter? I hope that Julie and John Bult are married now and have 25 babies and live in Louisiana some where..... God Bless John and Julie

Hey, it was the 80's it was inexpensive, so what is he thinks that Julie's hot for being 16. So what if Julie's his daughter? I hope that Julie and John Bult are married now and have 25 babies and live in Louisiana some where..... God Bless John and Julie

Captions should read:
"Don't tell your mom, or else!!!"

The thing is, I think it's nice, because Julie is celebrating her birthday with her father and the man who is going to take her virginity.

I can hear the conversation betwen John and his buddy...

BUDDY "But she's only 16 John..."

JOHN "Yeah! About friggin time!! "

I did a websearch for John Bult... how nice to see he started all this dialogue! I just have to say, I thought it was a guy talking to his daughter. For me, the Orleans cover was by far the most shocking... :)

I have known John for 25 years!! I think the things that people have said bout him and this girl is unfair to say the least. Hell, he didn't touch her until she was 16 and a 1/2.