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Shall we throw him a farewell party?

Ted Rall is going to Iraq. I'm going to send a note to him, just wishing hime well and stuff.

Dear Ted,

I wish you the best on your trip to Iraq. Just a few favors, though.

When you say you're going to hang out with the locals and find out what's really going on over there, remember the phrase "fair and balanced." You expect it of others, so we expect it of you.

If you're just going to hang out in Fallujah with the resistance crowd, it sort of taints your report, you know? So try to make your way around a few more cities, like the places where Chief Wiggles is giving out toys. Ask some of the kids who are going to schools with real supplies what they think of post-Saddam Iraq. Don't just ask the Jihad-masters and their sons.

But you're a reporter, Ted, so I know that you have nothing but fair journalistic standards in mind. Really. I'm looking forward to your reports live from the Palestine Hotel. In fact, I've already alerted the troops that you are coming. Ok, so maybe I said something like "Hey, that guy who wrote the article about soldiers being baby killers is coming over. Make sure you give him a nice welcome, ok?"

Oh, and watch out for those land mines.

Take care,



Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Shall we throw him a farewell party?:

» Thoughtful Is As Thoughtful Does from Electric Venom
I don't know how Michele does it: working full-time... motherhood... marriage... running an amazing blog... Yet she still has time to send a note to Ted Rall before he leaves for Iraq. She's so cool.... [Read More]

» TED RALL from Discount Blogger
Methinks Michele has unrealistic expectations. Convincing Ted Rall to provide fair and balanced journalism is like, well, uhhh, trying to convince Ted Rall to provide fair and balanced journalism. (Sorry, when you're working with the most extreme bias,... [Read More]

» Better dead than Ted from Amish Tech Support
Michele has some words of advice for Iraq-bound Ted Rall. My only advice for the rudimentary scribbler is that he doesn't bother with making the meal selections or seat choice for the trip home. They don't serve meals in cargo,... [Read More]

» This time I pick the letter from Pyrojection
There's a lot of good stuff over at Electric Venom today (and yesterday), but no letter of the day. So by way of adding my own commentary a bit at a time, I declare the letter of the day shall... [Read More]


Oh, and watch out for those land mines.

What should the line be in Vegas that somebody will accuse you of saying you want Ted Rall to step on a land mine?

I don't think they'll even take bets on that, Jay. It's pretty much inevitable.

I'm sure he'll recieve a warm - hot - blistering - welcome. I'm all a twiterpated at the thought.

Some people are so rude! That was helpful advice, and who else has been thoughtful enough to write him a send off note?

Like the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished...

Is it too late to give ol' Ted a going-away gift? I was thinking of a T-shirt with "Allah sucks! Jews rule!" written on one side, and "I ♥ Saddam" on the other.

I figure if one side doesn't get him, the other will.

"Who's the ferret faced infidel hitting on all the local girls?"

Ted Rall went to Iraq
That talentless journalist hack
But then the Iraqis
Said they'd rather have peace
So they sent old Teddy Boy back.

Fisk redux

I expect his missives from Iraq will contain the same "fair and balanced" reportage that his whines from Afghanistan contained. Let me predict their content: "This country sucks. But I hate America more; even thought the suckers pay me. Someone shoot me in the leg, please." I paraphrase, of course.

Can we all chip in to get Ted a neon green flak jacket? Something with cocentric red/white circles?

Hmm.. if ďAllah sucks! Jews rule!" and "I ♥ Saddam" was written using that ink that only appears when exposed to bright sunlight, that would be a great gift for Ted.


You. Are. Funny.

Imperial Lizardoid Trainer

"Is it too late to give ol' Ted a going-away gift? I was thinking of a T-shirt with "Allah sucks! Jews rule!" written on one side, and "I ? Saddam" on the other." - EvilOtto

Heh. I was thinking of getting him a Rachel Corrie T-Shirt and a case of pancake syrup... ;]

[Heya Otto, how goes?]

I don't think he's got the cajones to read his "Don't support our troops" article to one of our boys serving over there.

I will have the C-130 guys from here keep an eye our for him.

Hey look down there, that's Ted Rall!

sound of two tons of toys landing on bozo leftist

Oops, I'm sorry...