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[Here's where I attempt to hold my tongue for the day and try to stay away from politics and war. For now]

cheese.gifEmpire Magazine has come out with a list of the cheesiest films ever. Most of the films were defined by a singular cheesy moment:

Kevin Costner earns a place for a scene in his flop film The Postman in which a blind woman tells him: "You're a godsend, a saviour."

"No, I'm just a postman", Costner solemnly replies.

Ah, cheese.

The cheesiest films, according to Empire:

1 - Independence Day
2 - Top Gun
3 - The Karate Kid
4 - Four Weddings...
5 - Pearl Harbor
6 - Stepmom
7 - The Postman
8 - An Officer and a Gentleman
9 - Patch Adams
10 - Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Some of the fromage moments make you me cringe in disgust (Clones) and some just make you change the channel (Stepmom) while others make you want to hurl on the spot (Pearl Harbor).

So let's have a little Monday levity, shall we? Give me your cheesiest films - include the line(s) that made the film so cringe/vomit worthy for you.

[UPDATE] People, cheesy does not equal bad! Cheesy is when someone speaks a line that makes you feel uncomfortable, in that cringing sort of way. As in: how could the director leave that line in there, and how can the actor not be embarassed that he said it?

See the comment below on John Travolta.


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Behold the power of cheese. The Divine Miss M is taking any and all comers for cheesiest moments in film. And while we're here, I would like to take a moment to embrace the fine wedge of camembert that was... [Read More]


FLASHDANCE. Hard to pick a moment. Practically the whole movie.

"Twister" is by far the cheesiest.

Had to pick just one scene du fromage - either the one where the tornado growls like a tiger, or the final scene when Paxton and Hunt strap themselves to the irrigation pipe - a move that would have gotten them ripped to hamburger in real life.

Stupid, stupid movie.

I'd have to say What Dreams May Come is the cheesiest cheese that ever cheesed.

I still secretly adore it though.

How about that "Bagger Vance" move?

Anything directed by Michael Bay should be exempted from the list, it deserves its own special circle of cinema hell.

I pick Army of Darkness starring Bruce "The Chin" Campbell. Or is that the epitome of "corny"? So many food adjectives, so little time.

Intentionally cheesy movies don't count. Hence, AoD gets no votes.

Here's one: 'I Am Sam'

The moment that made me want to melt --- like the wicked witch from the west --- was when the little girl was asked in court what she wanted and she responded with, "All you need is love."

"I'm a dancer!"

Has everyone forgotten the veritable lake of fondue that was "Moulin Rouge"?

I mean, I know, it is easier, the forgetting, but because we must remember, and to keep this sort of thing from ever happening again, I will be starting my own project recording and compiling people's stories from That Day, the day they were forced to sit through that horrible, heinous war-crime of a film.


Although I really like the movie, at the end of the Untouchables Kevin Costner goes into this "Never stop fighting" thing at Deniro's Capone. I always thought that was really cheesy.

David- the storyline behind Moulin Rouge was intentionally cheesy; that movie was all about the spectacle.

Two cheesy moments: "I'll never let go, Jack" from Titanic, and the scene in Desperado where Antonio Banderas miraculously recovers from numerous throwing-knife puncture wounds and significant blood loss by having sex with Selma Hayek.

Where can I start?

Private Benjamin - moment of cheese is where Goldie Hawn is in the memorial reading the declaraton of Independance.

Beaches - How can you isolate a single cheesy moment? What I want to know is how could Bette Midler - who have an outstanding performance in "The Rose" get involved in such absolute crud as Beaches?

Any movie with Barbara Streisand in it.

Now "Fatal Attraction" needed some more cheese - I mean, how cna you eat boiled rabbit without cheese?

If we're talking about the cheesiest movie of 2003, that's easy, it's: Bend it Like Beckham.

Girls playing a boys sport, and their families aren't happy about it. Jeez, did they steal that story straight out of (1) a 1974 ABC TV Movie of the Week, or (2) an episode of "Family Ties", or (3) an ABC Afternoon Special?

Of course we're supposed to ignore the cheesiness because some dim-bulb movie reviewer includes the word "empowering" in their review.

Yikes...what a poor list. These two should have been at the top...
American Beauty
I would have laughed at loud at the cheese if they had not been so dreadful. Raining toads? Bwahahahahahaha.

Wing Commander. Proves right all nay-sayers who lament video games made into movies.

Ken - Are you talking about Goldie Hawn's "Sonny Davis" character in 'Protocol', or did she actually do that same scene in two movies (I haven't seen 'Private Benjamin')?

"You had me at hello."

The velveeta of movie lines.

I think we need to work on drawing the line between cheesy and crappy here. Not all crappy movies are cheesy. Some are just crappy.

Could we get some parameters here?

My vote for the all-time cheese trophy goes to An Officer and a Gentleman. Even after all these years, yecchhh!

A couple of obvious ones not on the list are Dirty Dancing and Ghost, though they do have some redeeming qualities and are not nearly as bad as something like Pearl Harbor.

The only one on the list I would quibble with is Four Weddings & a Funeral - having an element of cheese doesn't necessarily mean a movie has to be bad. Maybe in the end we're all suckers for a certain type of cheese...

I wouldn't call the whole movie cheese, but one of the cheesiest movie scenes ever was John Travolta singing the "Stranded at the Drive-in" song in Grease. I'm still embarrassed for him every time I see the spoken part in the middle of the song, and the "why-y-y-yyyyy" at the end.

Yes Miker! How could I have forgotten "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!"???


When Nicholas Cage opens his mouth to sing in "Peggy Sue Got Married," or at any point in the movie when was trying so hard to convince the audience that Kathleen Turner would actually be married to him.

I felt so embarassed for Coppola, imagining that nobody had the courtesy to tell him of this terrible piece of miscasting.

I felt so embarassed for Coppola, imagining that nobody had the courtesy to tell him of this terrible piece of miscasting.

Would you tell the boss that he should fire his nephew?

How is "American Beauty" cheesy?

I'll have to agree with Faith that Jerry Maguire may be cheese louise, but not "You had me at hello." I think "You complete me" wins hands down with that movie.

And don't forget Breakfast At Tiffany's. Cheese popcorn all the way.

Kim: Plastic bag scene in American Beauty = CHEESE.

Oh, how about "Bring it On"? That has to be the cheesiest movie of all time. I'm sorry cheerleading is not a sport. It is an exhibition.

The "blowjob" scene in American Beauty = extra cheesy. Saw this one coming...plot trick right out a bad 80's sitcom. It was almost a decent movie, but when I saw that one coming I literally groaned and said "don't do it" (as if the director could hear me).

And don't forget looking over the dead body. Remember...there is beauty in everything. How touching...please excuse me while I retch this block of cheese into my popcorn.

The first film that comes to mind for me is Network, a film I hated the moment I saw it. When Holden says to Dunaway, "I can't get you out of my mind," I cringed. If anyone ever said that to me I would be thinking "You'd better start."

Dunaway's power fuck, on top of course, is pretty cheesy too, although it's so over the top it's kinda fun. A prelude to Mommie Dearest. She's deserved more than one Oscar, but none for Network.

Footloose. Pick any 90 second segment at random.

My Girl - a movie made of cheese. Cheesiest scene when herbest friend, a boy is stung to death by bees while trying to rescue her mood ring after they experience puppy love.

I remember another one. 'City of Angels' with Meg Ryan and Nicolas Cage.

I knew that stupid bike of hers was going to have some kind of meaningful role in the movie and as such, I could see that ending coming a mile away. A cheese-o-rama.

How was anyone kind enought to forget "Zanadu" starring Olivia Newtown John?!? The entire movie was one reeking Munster. [cringe, cringe]

How was anyone kind enough to forget "Zanadu" starring Olivia Newton John? The movie was one reeking Munster! [cringe, cringe]

Pay It Forward had extra cheese.

Also, the line from The Outsiders:

"We'll do it for Johnny, man! We'll do it for Johnny!" Dear God.

Saving Private Ryan is chockablock with cheese:

1. The opening at the Cemetery, where Old Man Ryan begins remembering the landing on Omaha Beach, which is a neat trick considering HE WASN'T EVEN THERE.
2. The Scene where the General reads the Lincoln Letter, decides to call Ryan home, and all the generals get weepy.
3. Tom Hanks' constant hand trembling ("It's character development, see?!?! He's all nervous because of the war!!!")
4. The godawful monologue where Damon remembers the last time he saw his brothers, when they stopped one of the brothers from screwing an unattractive girl by ridiculing him. Way to gain audience sympathy, asswipe.
5. The stupid scene where Tom Sizemore speechifies "Some day we might look back on this and decide that saving Private Ryan was the one
decent thing we were able to pull out of this whole godawful shitty mess." I hate it when characters in a movie say the title of the movie in a line of dialogue, especially when it's an eye-rolling line of dialogue like that.
6. The scene where Tom Hanks dies, and wastes his last words giving stupid 'Zen' advice to Damon. "Earn this." Don't you want to leave a message to your family, Tom, considering it's your last breath and all? No? Just want to give this dude you've only known three or four hours some life advice? Okay, then...
7. The scene at the end where Elderly Damon collapses in front of his wife and asks if he's been a good man, like she'd really say "No, you've pretty much sucked your whole life."

Its seems that no one here has seen "Vanilla Sky" ...franky i wouldn't admit it either

The Outsiders, yes. I love this movie. The #1 cheese moment, IMO, was not "Do It For Johnny!" (that was #2) but the dying Johnny moaning "Stay Gold, Ponyboy! Stay Gold!"

Mmm... cheese...

Cast Away


How can we leave out Pretty Woman? Velveeta from beginning to end!

Also, Blue Crush which was a remake of Top Gun except with surfer chicks rather than throttle jockeys. They sould have called it Bleu Cheese!

Signs. No particular line - or rather "All of them" - but the death by waterglass ending made me cringe combined with a Grey suit/fx that would have been dated back when Close Encounters came out.

There was dialogue in Private Ryan?

I must have missed it while fast-forwarding from one action scene to the next.

A virtual gusher of fromage erupted from the screen in "Footloose" when Kevin Bacon, newly informed of the town's dancing restrictions, utters two words:

"Jump back."

Ummm... anyone see A Love Story. Talk about the BIG cheese. How bout when he says "Love is never having to say you're sorry"?