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ted's being ambiguous again

Today, Mr. Rall digs up a 1998 column about bin Laden from Salon. I guess he was tired of defending himself for comparing Bush to Hitler so he went off on another tangent:

< snip from Salon piece >
...[T]he US government has never presented the American public with any hard proof that Osama bin Laden has carried out a single terrorist attack against us. Yet both President Clinton and Generalissimo El Busho have used him as a bÍte noire responsible for everything from bad food to bad music.

Oh come on, Ted. Now you're just exaggerating. I mean, it might explain the popularity of the Strokes, but you're just pushing our buttons here Ted, aren't you?

< snip from Salon piece >
Even if we captured Osama, in other words, we wouldn't be nabbing the guy who hit our embassies, or the Cole, or the World Trade Center. And what about the groups that actually carried out those attacks?
Bush won't even talk about them, much less try to bring them to justice.

So...it wasn't bin Laden and his cronies? I think we need to play Guess the Rall Conspiracy Theory here. Could it be........the Mossad? Or how about the CIA? Bush himself? Haliburton? Satan?

Anyone? Do you have any idea what he's talking about?

It's ok, Ted. The doctor will be right over. Just stay still and don't hurt yourself by thinking too hard.


Listed below are links to weblogs that reference ted's being ambiguous again:

» Paglia's back from Swanky Conservative
I looked forward to her columns when she was a regular contributor to Salon. Now that she's moved on, there's not much in that collection of opinions left over from the DotCom Daze. In this piece of hers, I caught... [Read More]


It must be crack.

Maybe he should read this press release from the DoJ regarding bin Laden and the embassy bombings:

MARY JO WHITE, the United States Attorney - for the Southern District of New York, and LEWIS D. SCHILIRO, Assistant Director in Charge of the New York FBI Office, announced that USAMA BIN LADEN and MUHAMMAD ATEF, a/k/a "Abu Hafs," were indicted today in Manhattan federal court for the August 7, 1998, bombings of the United States embassies in Nairobi, Kenya, and Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, and for conspiring to kill American nationals outside of the United States.

Atef is now unavailable for indictment.

And what about the groups that actually carried out those attacks?

WTF, Ted? Don't tell me, let me guess; you're helping O.J. search America's golf courses for the "real killers," too, right?

Ok, so I'm quoting the second link instead of the first but how about THIS for pure and unbridled irony:

"There isn't a huge jump between a guy like Adolf and a guy like GWB, and I'll be damned if I'm not allowed to say so."

Hitler wouldn't have let him make unflattering comparisons like that, I don't think. Sometimes I wish we could send these raving loons to a REAL fascist state -- just to give them a feel for what "oppression of dissent" really feels like.

If Ted Rall is saying that Bin Laden didn't do it maybe HE DID IT. Throw his ass in a plane and ship him to Saudi Arabia. Then let the CIA chase him around with a drone armed with a Hellfire missile. Come on Ted, we have bets on how long you can dodge the Predator drone.

It was Some Puerto Rican Guy.

Only by promptly deporting Ted Rall to the land between the two rivers, can this country satisfactorily get rid of Rall and his brand of anti-Iraqi War anti-anything pestilence, and will he ever be in a position to erase his odious-dept of insulting the rights of free speech and of upsetting our eyeballs with his lackey cartoons well below any graffiti I have yet to encounter in any public restroom stall. The fucking moral gargoyle has lampooned every soft target within every national controversy using every distasteful tactic enough to make Bush into a caricature of a cowboy with wings and a halo, by comparison. On a weekly basis, Rall produces no more than rat droppings in political format for distribution through his national syndication. If there ever was a need for sheet plastic and duct tape, then nothing surpasses Rall’s free-wheeling obscenity as something to be barricaded off within a suitable canopy. Rall has demeaned editorial expression by being a maverick of unconventional opinion, failing miserably in avant-garde candor by chance or butchering shock-effect therapy by talent, through his obvious abhorrence of applying self-censorship when necessary so vital in catharsis.

Maybe it was all those women he slept with.

I reckon it was the 10-foot tall lizards.

Isn't it keen how Rall will as much as say outright that Clinton was in on the Konspiracee, though?

You see, there's some deeper, bipartisan effort to suppress knowledge of the Real Enemy, which only Ted, evidently, knows!

I bet it's the Jews. Though, perhaps Ted's taking the special pills lately, and it's the International Financiers and NWO. (Though that's usually just a slightly less flimsy way of saying "the Jews"...)

(PS. Before anyone gets completely stupid, I'm making fun of Ted, not blaming Jews for actually doing all that. Just, you know, making it extra-double-clear, since some people don't seem to be able to grasp obvious sarcasm.)