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happily ever after!

[via Tongue Tied]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Humpty Dumpty opened his eyes
Falling down was such a surprise
Humpty Dumpty counted to 10
Then Humpty Dumpty got up again.

What happened to all the kings horses and men who couldn't put Humpty together again?

They've been banished to the dark, dank basement where politically/psychologically incorrect things go to die.

FOR hundreds of years, he was left shattered after falling off a wall but Humpty Dumpty has been put back together in a politically correct version of the nursery rhyme.

Tapes sold at Mothercare have added an extra verse to the children's favourite after the original was deemed too upsetting

The idea of taking away every single thing that may be scary to a child is ludicrous. How in the world will these children ever make it out in the real world if they spend their whole childhood in sterile surroundings where nothing will ever hurt, frighten or worry them?

My older cousin used to add a verse to Humpty Dumpty, something about the king's horses and men having scrambled eggs for breakfast. We thought it was hysterical.

Little Miss Muffet, Sat On a Tuffet
Eating Her Curds and Whey.

Along Came a Big Spider,
Who Sat Down Beside Her
And Frightened Miss Muffet Away

How dare Miss Muffet be frightened by one of nature's creatures? And what did Muffy ever do to that spider that he is scaring her so? Let's change that to make it less frightening for the poor kiddies.

Little Miss Muffet, Sat On a Tuffet
Eating Her (soy) Curds and (gluten-free) Whey.

Along Came a Big Spider,
Who Sat Down Beside Her
And Miss Muffet and the spider had breakfast together and merrily went on their way.

And what about that nasty old woman who beats her kids before she puts them to sleep? We don't want any of the children having nightmares about child abuse and shoes, do we?

There Was An Old Woman
Who Lived In a (non-leather) Shoe
She Had So Many Children (she took in from shelters)
She Didn't Know What To Do.

So She Gave Them All (chicken-free)Broth
and all-natural bread
She read them the Communist Manifesto
And Put Them into the family bed.

Thanks to folks like the free-range idiots who are changing nursery rhymes, we are raising a generation of kids who will have no coping skills whatsoever. Because in the world of the politically correct, everything his happy and wonderful and peaceful. Talk about fairy tales.

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» Break him, I say. Break him again. from One Fine Jay
Michele, a small rationalization of the revised Humpty Dumpty. King. Horses. King's Men. Trying to repair a broken egg. Imperialist. Rich-bitch. Gay. Let's forget the fact that he tried. Yep, we all get it now. Fuck PC. [Read More]

Comments

Did mother Theresa forsee the yanks losing????

As an English teacher, changing literature for the sake of PC angers me. These are nursery rhymes! It's not like these will traumatize children forever.

Some adults are overanalyzing things. Young children don't have an attention span long enough to mull over the PC-ness of nursery rhymes. This is silly as the when Disney had to shut down the Pirates of the Caribbean ride to correct puppet displays because parents thought that pirates chasing women was not good for children to see.

not all altered fairytales are bad. check this one out.

http://www.robertschimmel.com/gfather.asp

hee hee....hilarious.

Weren't some if not most "nursery rhymes" originally meant to be political satire at their inception, particularly Humpty Dumpty?

Just wonderin'...

"Humpty Dumpty" is not a story. It's a riddle. (See The Straight Dope: http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mhumpty.html)

I recall a book full of these riddles when I was a kid. They would describe a weird situation ("Slinky-Slinky ate Lumpy-Bumpy") and the answer to the riddle was found by guessing what they were talking about ("a snake ate a pear").

You were supposed to guess what "Humpty Dumpty" was. The answer was "egg". The clue was that, after a great fall, this object was impossible to put together again. Apparently now you have to guess what object, after a greta fall, is able to jump back upright after 10 seconds. I think "egg" no longer qualifies as the answer.

The re-written version not only eliminates the "upsetting" part, it makes the riddle totally meaningless. Instead of using the poem as an opportunity to teach children about a type of riddle they may never otherwise encounter, the feebs at Mothercare have made it a meaningless jumble of nonsense words. Argh! PC folks are so stupid sometimes!

Cardeblu: nursery rhymes were political satire, going far back as the medieval ages. So, they are related to history, such as Jack and Jill were about the beheadings of King Louis and Marie Antoinette. Nursery rhymes were the peasants way of making fun of their superiors.

Having them rewritten takes away the history.

The origin of Humpty Dumpty that seems to be most widely accepted in Britain is that it referred to a Royalist cannon mounted on top of St Marys at the Wall Church in Colchester, during the English Civil War.

We all know that Ring-a-ring of Roses is about the Plague, don't we?

Nope.
http://www.snopes.com/language/literary/rosie.htm
Sorry.

I like snopes as much as the next person, but sometimes I think they take their task as proffesional sceptic a little bit too pompously.

I thought that their point about various interpretation for the word 'ashes' was particularly obtuse. The line 'Ashes to Ashes' is a direct referent to the funeral ceremony--it needs no 'interpretation'.

Further, of the alternates given only one easily fits the tune without mangling the words.

And finally, while I've heard it to be attributed to the Black Plague as well, the idea that it could possibly be attributed to another epidemic--one that ravaged England, for example, at a later date--which, in fact, happened--has completely been ignored.

The origin of the poem may be completely obscure, certainly nothing on the snopes site does anything to clear the fog--but for snopes to definitively cite that the origin we know to be false--and then follow that up with no definitive proff is just preposterous.

As has become an axiom of our age, Don't believe evrything you read on the internet, perhaps we should recall that snopes, too, is on the internet.

The version recited in England uses the word "atishoo", not "ashes", and is clearly intended to be sneezing.

"Atishoo, atishoo and we all fall down" was supposed to refer to pulmonary version/stage of the plague. That's the one that (almost) always results in death.