« purging | Main | date night with quentin »

crossing lines with john edward

The fraud with the tv show, not the politician.

I thought of the man yesterday, as I was driving through town and passed by a house that had so overdone the Halloween thing with larger than life plastic blow-up spirits and ghosts gathered all over the yard, that I commented - to myself, as I was the only in the car - that it looked like John Edward was having a yard sale. Cracked myself up, I did.

And - stay with me here, because the two things really do tie in together - The Supreme Court said Tuesday it will decide whether the Pledge of Allegiance recited by generations of American schoolchildren is an unconstitutional blending of church and state.

Which leads me to this: John Edward can once and for all end this entire controversy over church and state; he can end the fight between atheists and agnostics and believers; he can end religious wars and jihads and put a finish to creationism v. evolution and possibly bring about world peace.

See, here is what I always wondered about Edward and others who claim to speak to the dead: Why aren't they telling us anything important?

Why waste time talking about Aunt Maude's garden when there are so many other things to be learned from the dead? Surely, just one of those spirits that has been contacted is dying, pardon the pun, to tell us something about the afterlife.

If I was on that show and that huckster pointed to me and asked my some vague question designed to get me to say that yes, you are certainly right that I once knew someone whose name started with the letter A and is now dead and it could be a dozen or so different uncles but yes, oh miracle of miracles you must be real Mr. Edward because my grandfather did die of heart failure, you are a pure genius because it's not like grandfathers die of heart failure every day, right? Right? And then he would say something like well, your grandpa wants you to know he's doing ok and I would stand up and say, now wait just a minute, John Edward. Here's what I want to know, not what you want to tell me.

And I would ask grandpa about the mysteries of life. What happens when you die? Is there real life out there? Is there a heaven? A hell? Purgatory? Was there a God waiting for you? If so, which god was it? Greek? Jewish? Was it Buddah? Or is it the Catholic god? Do you get to see people who are still alive? Do you spy on us? Was that you at grandma's funeral who knocked down the flowers?

And thus, grandpa would solve everything. He would tell us which god, if any, was the ruler of the afterlife. He would tell us what death is like.

So, why doesn't John Edward do this? Why doesn't he use his powers to speak to the dead for a greater purpose than his cash flow?

Well of course, he can't. And that's too bad, because if he could then the Supreme Court wouldn't even have to decide on this issue because grandpa would tell the name and demonation of the god that exists in heaven and we could all join hands and sing our praises and worship the same entity and peace shall be unto us, amen. Or he would just tell us that no, there is no god, it's just total chaos and anarchy in the afterlife with ghosts and spirits running around creating havoc, going through ex-girlfriends' underwears drawers when they are sleeping and making mischief so they can see the results of their pranks on the cover of the Weekly World News. Crop circles, indeed. That was just your Uncle Henry having fun.

But we'll never know if someone out there wants to tell us the truth because the only thing John Edward knows how to do is read between the lines of people's emotions. Until someone with better skills than he has steps up and proves what lies in the great beyond, we'll still have days like today when a couple of people in robes are going to decide the fate of the pledge.

TrackBack

Listed below are links to weblogs that reference crossing lines with john edward:

» Michele ponders on Halloween, John Edward and that whole "Does God Exist?" thing. from Stupid Evil Bastard
Minx pointed out to me that Michele over at A Small Victory had an entry up that was right up my alley: Crossing lines with John Edward. Which leads me to this: John Edward can once and for all end this entire controversy over church and state; he can ... [Read More]

Comments

Michelle, I have good news and I have bad news.

The good news is that there really is Baseball in heaven.

The bad news is that next week Ted Rall is pitching.

What am I saying??? Looks like a Win/Win situation to me!

Does anyone else remember "Leap Of Faith" with Steve Martin? It had enough flaws to keep it from being a truly great movie, but Martin did an excellent job in a complex role as faith healer Jonas Nightengale.

John Edward should also ask grampa to tell us if Elvis is really dead or not.

I think that South Park probably deconstructed John Edward in its probably most preachy episode (entitled "The Biggest Douche in the Universe"?)

Michelle, you don't seriously think Edward has any real talent, do you?

It's cold reading. It's explained completely here.

If only I had fewer ethics, I'd be rich, too.

The least he could do is contact the Founding Fathers and ask them about the stupid church/state thing once and for all.

"I'm getting something from someone called TJ... he's making retching noises..."

Oh, and ask what the hell the 2nd Amendment means, too.

We could have avoided this whole mess if the weasels in Congress hadn't added "under God" in some pathetic attempt to prove their stance against "godless Communism" in the 1950's. I hope the Supremes do the right thing and toss that extraneous phrase out on it's ear.

So far as I can tell, the Ninth Circuit ruled that the law which added "under God" to the existing Pledge, was unconstitutional. The Pledge isn't unconstitutional, just the 1954 law that changed it.

"I pledge alligiance to the flag of the United States of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all".

It would be nice to once again have a Pledge that applies to all Americans, and not just ones with invisible playmates.

...grandpa would tell the name and demonation of the god that exists in heaven...

demonation??

(please don't change it)

Oh, what a subconscious typo that was. Heh.

"Why aren't they telling us anything important?"

My guess is the same reason that Miss Cleo never saw those indictments coming.

Why aren't they telling us anything important?

Seems to me that when somebody is drifting around as a cloud of ectoplasm or imaginary emanations or what-have-you, their idea of what's important has changed just a tad.

Alternatively (and more in keeping with my own "belief system"), if they told us the important stuff, we wouldn't l'arn nothin'.

Re: Edwards. I have the same thoughts and the same questions. And in addition, why donít faith healers pray for new limbs as well as internal physical healing?

Maybe he can really do it, but there's some horrible secret catch that makes it a really bad idea to let people ask their own questions. Like he can only talk to people who went to hell.

Ok, maybe not, but it'd make a good Twilight Zone episode.

Since I know John personally, I'm going to skip trying to explain what he does because if someone doesn't want to believe they aren't going to.
Suffice it to say that he really believes in what he does, as did my dad.

McGehee hit upon it~
"their idea of what's important has changed just a tad."
The reason we aren't given answers to really important questions is that those answers aren't given even in the afterlife.
Both my dad and John have told me that it's pretty much the same there as it is here. Your average dead aunt isn't going to know much more there than she did here, she might not even realize she's dead.
We don't suddenly become know-it-all super-geniuses after we die, we're pretty much the same as we were in life. There are only a few truths which just become evident such as the continuation of the personality after physical death and that certain physical properties are different, such as time and space. But, according to both my dad and John, you don't meet God or Elvis or Einstein or Tesla or Jesus unless you were a scientist or entertainer or messiah, as in life. If you wanted to meet any specific personality, you'd have to seek them out just as in life. I know this because my dad is no longer alive and has yet to meet any of those people.
He basically hangs out with people who share(d) his interests.

Questions for the afterliving:

Will they have Mogen David in Heaven?

Do all dogs really go to heaven, even that yappy mutt that wakes up the neighborhood every Saturday at 6:30?

Is cleanliness really next to godliness and, if so, what type of soap will we find in the afterlife?

And, finally: Do you need to wear anything under those white robes?

Well, get Edwards over to England so Stephen Hawkings can ask Einstein and Newton some questions. They've had about 276 and 50 years, respectively, to think about the nature of the universe and perhaps come up with stuff even Hawkings hasn't thought of yet.

Roberta - "And in addition, why donít faith healers pray for new limbs as well as internal physical healing?"

Because God doesn't subvert nature, he transcends it.

That being said, John Edwards is a kook.

Edward was a ballroom dancer before he was a "psychic."

Watch his show. He's wrong half the time even AFTER the edits.

Puh-leeze. He's a crook. He preys on the bereaved. He's going to have some stuff to answer to when it's his turn to try to talk to the living through some phony "psychic."

Again, I know John personally. He doesn't prey on the bereaved. They go to him willingly.
He doesn't go to funerals and do readings then demand payment.
Of course he edits out the stuff he gets wrong, which even he admits is alot. It's only a half-hour show.
Again, he really believes in what he does, he's not trying to fool, trick or deceive anyone. Nor is he even trying to convince anyone, he really doesn't care if you believe it or not.
Neither do I, really, but since he's an old friend I feel somewhat compelled to defend his character.
I seriously don't believe he or my dad would have any reason to lie to me about this when I was younger. Certainly they would have let me in on the ruse when I was older, but they stuck to their stories and that coupled with my sitting in on many of their sessions, I have no reason to believe they were trying to deceive me or anyone else.
There are alot of people that DO, but not John or my dad.

Oh I have something relevant to say here for a change! I went to a taping of his show a few years back, a friend works there as a producer (this was before the instituted the rule that people who work on the show can't get tickets for friends or relatives -- which was apparently after some big media expose). I was a total skeptic. She was a total believer (still is probably, we don't talk anymore for unrelated reasons), and getting me into the taping was her way to "prove" to me how real he was.

Bahahahahaha! What a load of nonsense. While I understand the practices have changed a bit since I was there, this was what I saw. They taped three shows per one audience sitting. Beforehand, he taped the in & out to commercial parts, one in each of the three sections of the audience. And -- suprise!!!!!!!! -- the three main readings he did were one in each of those three sections, and in the same order as the taping!!!! He was way wrong most of the time, and the people help him along a whole lot more than they show on TV. It's all edited out.

What struck me most was how obviously it seemed to me the staff was "spying" on the audience during the seating and waiting periods. I was there alone, no one to talk with about my dead relatives, so no big shock he didn't "read" me. Instead he read the couple behind me, who were there with another couple, and the whole time before the show were talking about their deceased son. They gave enough details right then that his "job" was a cinch. I specifically noticed that none of the people he "read" were there alone. And seeing the show(s) on TV, once clipped up, there was A LOT that he was stabbing around for that was cut out.

It's all bullshit.

BSTI, with all due respect to your friend John, I have a story to relate:

I used to be a producer of a science fiction radio show (whose name I will not repeat or link to because of a falling-out I had with them), and we talked about the afterlife on one show. A person who'd been on Crossing Over called in and -- this is hearsay, mind -- explained how it worked.

Evidently, at the beginning of the show the producers pass out little cards that attendees fill out. This, along with cold reading and the spying Faith referred to, was how he did it.

The cards may have been abolished. I don't know.

I think some people really can talk to the dead -- or, more precisely, can't make them shut up -- but John Edward is really just a talented cold-reader.

shrug

He and my dad had arguements over whether he should make money from his gift, my dad, who claimed the same gift, refused to, citing that it would deter from his authenticity. I believe he is correct, the fact that John makes his living from it casts great doubt upon his abilities.
My dad did it for years and never made a penny.

How can anyone who does not possess the gift of a medium state whether John Edward is real or fake.

Cold reading is an entirely different ball game -

It may display the same results but this does not explain telephone readings- yes it can be done by tone of voice but still this does not make John Edward a fake. If you believe, believe if you dont then dont - simple.

Anyone- with practise- could fake a Van Gogh painting - yes you can follow his routine exactly but will you ever be Van Gogh?

Ask yourselves this:

If Jesus came up to you in the street how many would believe it was really him - ask yourselves what would it take to convince you. Why would you have to test him to find out?

Question
Why have I got a transparent shadow at the foot of my staircase. I have seen this energy - so have my parents and friends - explain: Also the temperature gets very cold and there is a smell of old pipe tobacco even though no-one in that house smokes.

Secondly
Explain remote viewing - I am a qualified physicist and I am well aware that there are many more things in this universe of ours that we will ever know in our lifetimes-

Thirdly
Explain how dowsing has such a high hit rate

My advice to any skeptic is to use your imagination- if you don't have success then stay in your safe skeptic world and be happy- im happy for you too - you were never meant to be or do anything else.

If however, you can imagine for one second that God is a unifying force in everything and everyone - you may then understand that using your imagination is like accessing a universal conciousness - A Univerasal web of information available to be tapped.

How much money did John Edward give away to charity last year?

Oh, and South Park - I was a huge fan- I still am, that show is entitled to its opinion. It is a shame that the show had such a right wing approach to the John Edward spoof and took the moral high ground. If John Edward is expoiting vulnerable people, do South Park creators realise how many kids buy its merchandise for what is an adult show. Rather disapointing boys...